(Closed) canceling the honeymoon / vent sesh.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999


Im so sorry.  This is a horribly challenging time for you and your Fiance.  And bad timing to boot.

Unfortunately, I have no words.  Sometimes our lives dont go according to plan and we have to allow for a little deviation in route.  

The positives: you’re together, you’re supporting each other, you’re still getting married, your sweet grandpa will see you become a beautiful bride right before his eyes, your Future Father-In-Law is alive, you’ve scheduled visits with them after your ceremony.  And you seem like a lovely person who does not deserve this.

Try try try to hold onto the small victories and get through the challenge.

You will enjoy the honeymoon somuch after you’re married, Future Father-In-Law is home and you can both relax.


Post # 4
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am so sorry that this has been brought upon both of you… *hug*. The only thing you can do is be thankful for what you DO have, for what IS going right. Try your best to have a positive attitude as much as humanly possible, not only for you, but for your fiancé. Both of you need to try and be strong and there for each other. I don’t know how you will feel about this, but maybe take a picture with his dad anyway, even if it’s at the hospital? Maybe videotape the ceremony so that his dad can witness the union later? About the honeymoon, I completely understand how disapointing that would be :(, your fiancé probably has a hard time imagining himself fully enjoying it considering the circumstances… which is of course completely understandable. Hopefully you will be able to have one sooner rather than later….. Maybe do a quick getaway weekend for now, to at least celebrate a little as newlyweds, just the two of you? As for your Future Mother-In-Law, I would try not to preoccupy myself with what you think she wants, like you said, your g-pa is holding on to come to this wedding, and it’s happening! Plus, I think you have enough on your mind already!

*Positive thoughts*

Post # 5
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, what a scary situation. I hope your Future Father-In-Law comes out of everything ok. Brain injuries are definitely not ideal.

As for the honeymoon issue, I kinda have to agree that it’s probably not the best time to go on your honeymoon. You said it’s been your FI’s dream forever to go on a Honeymoon right away, but I kinda think he’d be distracted and upset if you guys went right away. His mind likely won’t be on relaxing with his new wife, it’s probably going to be on his father’s condition.

We went on our honeymoon 6 months after our wedding because my Darling Husband had to go back to med school 3 days after our wedding, but it actually turned out really well. It was so great to get away in the middle of winter, and all the wedding exhaustion had passed and we were really able to enjoy it, while still feeling like newlyweds. Obviously you have to do what’s best for you guys, but I just wanted to say that if you delay your honeymoon for a couple months, it still feels special and like a honeymoon. Good luck to you, and prayers to your family. 🙂

Post # 8
2908 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow, I’m so sorry. This really is terribly unfair, and it’s normal and human to be angry and sad and “selfish” – though I really don’t think you’re being selfish to want to be able to enjoy your wedding and honeymoon! Don’t beat yourself up for feeling what you’re feeling right now. You can be sad about the situation *and* 100% there for your Fiance at the same time.

My Fiance is going through a family crisis right now involving a death in the family, and what I’ve learned this week is that the most important thing to do is follow your fiance’s lead. Don’t worry about what his mom thinks, don’t worry about what the rest of his family thinks – if Fiance wants to go ahead with the wedding, you go ahead with the wedding. If he wants to go on the honeymoon, go on the honeymoon. If he wants to cancel, you cancel. I really don’t think there’s a right or wrong thing to do here, besides just letting him make those decisions and supporting whatever decision he makes.

Do you have a friend who might be able to step in and take care of some of the last minute details for you? That might take a bit of stress off your plate. Also – venting helps! Keep venting here and to your friends – I think it really makes a difference just to get the words out. I’m wishing you all the best.

Post # 9
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow I am so sorry you are going through this (and your FI).  I cannot even imagine.  I would be upset as you are.  I think you need to do what Fiance wants to do.  It sounds like part of him does want to go (e.g., him asking what you would do).  If you guys want to go, then go.  If Mother-In-Law wants to judge, let her judge.  Everyone deals with stressful situations such as this in different ways.  Good luck and I hope your Future Father-In-Law gets well soon.

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