(Closed) Canceling Wedding to get married on Honeymoon

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh gosh – this all sounds so stressful!! Take a deep breath…try to relax. I know everything feels like it’s coming at you all at once, but just remember…at the end of the day, you’ll have your new husband (who sounds like a great guy – so glad he was able to help get the tailor to work on your dress and have it dry cleaned!!) This will all be but a distant memory and you’ll have wonderful memories of your wedding day! Big hugs and I hope that everything works out for you!

Post # 4
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yup, I think what you’re feeling is pretty normal.  We made things as low-stress and uncomplicated as possible (small bridal party, ladies picked their own dresses and I didn’t even dictate a style or fabric, just “black and not too casual”, only 70 guests and  DH did the seating chart which means he didn’t get bogged down in all the who-sits-with-who nonsense) and I still wanted to call the whole thing off, take my money back and go to the courthouse!

Take a deep breath, tell everyone to shuttit, accept the fact that your unpleasant surprises aren’t over just yet, don’t beat yourself up on questions you didn’t ask or things that didn’t seem obvious to you. It will all be over with soon enough, everything will work out just fine, you will look gorgeous, your guests will have a great time, and you’ll go to bed incredibly happy that day.

ETA: since you’re in Chicago, you and your soon-to-be-husband should get a room at The Wit on State and Lake for some weekend about 4-6 weeks after the wedding. Splurge on their Spa Suite, it has an oversized soaking tub (sadly no jacuzzi jets but it’s still a super wonderful tub), lock yourselves away and enjoy some down time, a long soak in the tub, a cocktail in their rooftop lounge (just go early before it gets too crowded, it’ like a mini nightclub on the weekends up there) and some really delicious pancakes for breakfast. Having a post-wedding escape, even if you’re having a honeymoon, makes it so much easier to deal with all the nonsense.

Post # 5
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

RE – Bridal Chorus

As with most things in life… the more we are educated about “things” then sometimes what has always been the norm, tends to be no longer (falling out of favour sometimes for good reason)

The Bridal Chorus is no longer the GO TO choice by many Brides for various reasons… two of which are:

1- It comes from a very tragic opera entitled “Lohengrin”.  And a Marriage that is doomed from the get go.  The song is played just before a horrific murder scene where many guests are killed.

Hardly a happy scene… or a great note to kick off one’s wedding on !!

2- The composer of the Bridal Chorus, Richard Wagner was a man who had a bit of a reputation as an Anti-Semite… so consequently now many find it an inappropriate choice because of that (like I said, folks get more “educated about things” over time).  AND it is also a piece of music that isn’t regarded as religious… so there are churches who don’t recognize it as well their list of “accepted musical pieces with religious underpinnings for a the sacrament of marriage”

Wikipedia – Bridal Chorus = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridal_Chorus

Wikipedia – Lohengrin =http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lohengrin_(opera)

Wikipedia – Richard Wagner = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Wagner

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 7
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@tnt1128:  Huh ??

Sorry, I was just informing you WHY some Brides don’t choose this piece of music any longer… or WHY some Churches won’t play it

(you DID complain about classical vs religious expectations in your Paragraph # 6, and how the organist said that no one uses it any more)

I NEVER SAID YOU SHOULDN’T USE IT…

I get that your Wedding Planning is stressful… but girl you don’t need to take that out on me, when I am just passing along info that I thought you might find useful (or might not know / be aware of).  Sheesh !!

Post # 8
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Good luck OP! Remember, it is just one day- all these stressor will not be a big deal after the fact!

Post # 9
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@tnt1128:    Surprised

Your comment to This Time Round, who was trying to HELP you, is one of the rudest things I’ve ever seen posted on the Bee. 

I believe in things like:  karma, vibes and what comes around goes around. 

Maybe you should look in the mirror for the answer to why people are dropping like flies from wanting to attend your wedding and giving you such a hard time.

Your attitude is your energy.

Post # 10
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Sunfire:  Meh Cut her some slack. Yeah the repsonse was less than perfect BUT she is obviously stressed and reacting out of stress. That is the song she wants and she probably does not want to hear about why the song is bad.

I walked down the aisle to it.

 

Post # 11
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@tnt1128:  At this point do YOU want this wedding? Would you regret if you cancelled this late in the game and loose all the money you’ve invested.

We’ve all got stories of weddings horrors. The week of my wedding our baker could not make the cake. It was a family friend. I ended up at Walmart for a wedding cake. Guess what? It was very pretty and delish. It was not the style I wanted but people were raving about how great it tasted.

I also had 50, yes 50, people not show up the day of our wedding a year ago. 185 Rsvped yes, only 130 showed up. We still had a great time.

I would call the shop ASAP and ask for the progress on the dress. Prayers it will be ready. If not, get some fabric tape and try to hide the side boob.

I hope you can get the bridal march.

As for your friend, tell her the seating chart is final and no changes will be made. Friend will just have to be by herself at dinner.

After the wedding, you will learn to shake your head at everything and continue living. Promise.

Post # 12
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

No need to be on attack mode. Everyone on the forum wants to help and nobody attacks the bees for doing just that. What @This Time Round:  said is perfectly acceptable. She was just giving you INFORMATION. 

Relax.

Post # 15
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@tnt1128:  I don’t think that This Time Round was trying to tell you the song was “bad” or trying to discourage you from using it. She was trying to explain to you why it may have fallen out of favor or churches may not be as familiar with it anymore. Regardless of whether you wanted that information or not, she was trying to be helpful, and your response to her was rude. Information is helpful in understanding difficult situations, and if you are going to post on a public forum about your stressors, you should be gracious with comments that are not attacking you.

Post # 16
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

me!

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