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Do not invite other guests that is rude and I don't think it will go over very well.
Shit happens. Now that you know just let the caterer now that 2 less people will be sitting at Table #1 and they will spread the seating out accordingly.
We called friends who didn't make the cut and invited them (they weren't really close enough to us that they should have been expecting an invite). I've been invited last minute to a wedding and I was just happy to be part of their day. You know your audience, pick people you don't think will be offended.
We invited people 2 weeks out, when family on hubs side couldn't make it like we originially thought. The friends that didn't make the first cut understood that we were paying ourselves and didn't have a lot of money. It worked well for us, but then the day came and 8 people were no shows (different people)!!!
Chalk up the two empty seats to a lost cost and either have the caterer set table #1 with two less place settings or move two people to that table and shrink down another table. We will have some tables with 10 and some with 8, I don't think it really matters.
You will also have some people not show up on the day of most likely, so don't be shocked if you have a few empty seats on the day of as well. I saw it happen at 3 of the last 4 weddings I went to. People get sick or travel arrangements fall through, etc.
I would just leave it and have them set two less places at the table. We will also possibly have two empty seats at our table one as well (due to heath reasons) and if they are unable to make it in the end we are just going to have that table more "intimate".
if you have a guest who wanted to bring a plus one, you can tell me you have an opening, I dont think thats rude. I have one guest you has been bugging me for a plus one and I told her I would let her know if anything opens up. She says would like to know even if its a week to the date
like @bells said; yeah, this is a good idea if you have people like that. A friend called me once a week before her wedding, and said I could bring a date. I was a *little* annoyed because it felt kind of "second class," but of course now that I'm planning a wedding myself I totally understand, plus, being able to have my BF there in the end completely made up for it!
We had 1 person cancel 6 days before the wedding, 2 people cancel 2 days before the wedding and 1 person was a no show. I didn't even notice on the day (luckily they weren't our closest closest friends).
the person who cancelled the week of the wedding had just got married a fortnight before and was too tight on money for the expensive train fare. Fair enough.
The people who cancelled 2 days before had been relying on his parents to look after their kids, his nephew was taken seriously ill in hospital and his parents had to rush to him.
And the person who didn't turn up had been notorously tricky to get hold of, I wasn't surprised.
We managed to fill 1 spot by inviting the DJ for food (he was also a family friend) and chalked the rest up to experience. We had a minimun spend we had to achieve at the hotel for food and drinks, and it was a buffet so barely noticable.
Still better than those who RSVP that they are attending and then NO SHOW.
I would call the caterer and explain that you just had two people cancel on you after you had already gave them the final numbers. They may write you a cheque for the difference of the 2 people not attending, the worst they can say is no.
I think we're going to have an uneven number too. I think we're going to have some with 8 and some with 10, just because of the number of people we have and who they should be seated with.
I would just let it go. There is nothing you can do an please don't invite an after thought 11 days before the wedding, if that was me I would be so insulted. This is just the same thing as if someone didn't show and unfortunately I think this happens at every wedding. While the venue probably will not give you a refund (although you can try) they should be able to accomadate a change in seating. I would just tell them you need to make that particular table an eight person table.
I've been invited last minute. I didn't mind. I wasn't close enough to the person to make the first cut.
it is a common thing, I had that problem too and the venue/caterer should be fine handling it- just let them know and they will do what is best.
Agreed -- this is better than no-shows. And I agree with other PPs -- just have the caterer have two fewer place settings at that table. You're missing the point -- the problem isn't the seating arrangement -- it will be fine to have two fewer seats/people at this important table. and it will look fine too. The problem is your FIs feelings about what has happened and why. Do you guys even know why? And I agree with you, the fact that she didn't call her brother herself to explain is pretty bad (and I assume she's a grown-up because she has a husband herself). Maybe you and FI can talk about this a bit and you can acknowledge to him that you feel badly for him, that his feelings must be hurt his sis isn't coming to his wedding, etc. and you can suggest he call her himself to see 'wuz up', you know?
I don't think it's rude to invite someone else. People understand budgets and can always say no if they don't agree with it. It's all in how you word it; just tell them that you had an opening and really wanted them to come.
We invited a few ppl two week before and it was fine, they understood. It really depends on your relationship with them. They came and had a great time....or so they tell me. ;)
it's not always rude.
I would be thrilled to be a last mintue guest. I have tons of friends I'd love to invite but just can't and if people sold out last mintue without doubt I'm inviting them last mintue.
hey I paid for food, SOMEONE should enjoy it.
@mcnetn3: thanks for the heads-up. i know it's common that people get sick and can't make it. we already have another guest who won't be there due to emergency surgery- i know no one can forsee that kind of thing and i certainly don't think my wedding should take precedence over someone's health! i guess it's more the nature of this specific cancellation- no one is sick, her and her husband just rsvp'd yes when they weren't really sure they could make it.
@JoeBeth12: you're right. i think that is what's bothering me even more than the 2 empty place settings, $200 worth of food and drinks going uneaten, etc. We were given a reason, but it really just sounded like poor planning on their part. It's sort of a weird family situation, so i do my best not to pry...
Thank you ladies for all the input! It seems like everyone is split on the 'invite-last-minute' issue. I'm still not sure what we'll do- I think I may be leaving this one up to my fiancee!
dont invite other guests. That could end badly. Just hurt feelings about not making the cut till someone backs out etc. I would say leave the seating there is no need to stress about 2 place settings. There are emptys always. Every wedding I have been to there are always at least 3 placecards till sitting on the table for the people who were supposed to show up and then didnt.. I wouldnt worry to much about it.
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We're getting married in 11 days. We just met with the caterer, gave her our final count, payed our balance.
So now we get a phone call from FH's dad letting us know that FH's sister and husband won't be able to make the wedding. I'm sure they have a very good reason, but if they weren't sure if they could make it, why did they rsvp yes? And why couldn't she call him herself?
So now we have two empty place settings at table 1. I could rearrange guest seating, but those two empty place settings will have to go somewhere. I'm sure this has happened to other bees, what did you do? Call guests that didn't quite make the cut, explain the situation, and invite them to the wedding only 11 days before? (my FH seems to think this is the best solution, but I think it is rude.) Leave the empty place settings there?
Sorry for the rant, I just had to get it out somewhere!