(Closed) Cancellation with only 11 days to go?!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Do not invite other guests that is rude and I don’t think it will go over very well.

Shit happens. Now that you know just let the caterer now that 2 less people will be sitting at Table #1 and they will spread the seating out accordingly.

Post # 4
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

We called friends who didn’t make the cut and invited them (they weren’t really close enough to us that they should have been expecting an invite). I’ve been invited last minute to a wedding and I was just happy to be part of their day. You know your audience, pick people you don’t think will be offended.

Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We invited people 2 weeks out, when family on hubs side couldn’t make it like we originially thought. The friends that didn’t make the first cut understood that we were paying ourselves and didn’t have a lot of money. It worked well for us, but then the day came and 8 people were no shows (different people)!!!

Post # 6
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Chalk up the two empty seats to a lost cost and either have the caterer set table #1 with two less place settings or move two people to that table and shrink down another table.  We will have some tables with 10 and some with 8, I don’t think it really matters.

You will also have some people not show up on the day of most likely, so don’t be shocked if you have a few empty seats on the day of as well.  I saw it happen at 3 of the last 4 weddings I went to.  People get sick or travel arrangements fall through, etc.

Post # 7
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just leave it and have them set two less places at the table.  We will also possibly have two empty seats at our table one as well (due to heath reasons) and if they are unable to make it in the end we are just going to have that table more “intimate”.

 

Post # 8
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

if you have a guest who wanted to bring a plus one, you can tell me you have an opening, I dont think thats rude. I have one guest you has been bugging me for a plus one and I told her I would let her know if anything opens up. She says would like to know even if its a week to the date

Post # 9
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

like @bells said; yeah, this is a good idea if you have people like that. A friend called me once a week before her wedding, and said I could bring a date. I was a *little* annoyed because it felt kind of “second class,” but of course now that I’m planning a wedding myself I totally understand, plus, being able to have my BF there in the end completely made up for it!

Post # 10
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We had 1 person cancel 6 days before the wedding, 2 people cancel 2 days before the wedding and 1 person was a no show. I didn’t even notice on the day (luckily they weren’t our closest closest friends).

the person who cancelled the week of the wedding had just got married a fortnight before and was too tight on money for the expensive train fare. Fair enough.

The people who cancelled 2 days before had been relying on his parents to look after their kids, his nephew was taken seriously ill in hospital and his parents had to rush to him.

And the person who didn’t turn up had been notorously tricky to get hold of, I wasn’t surprised.

We managed to fill 1 spot by inviting the DJ for food (he was also a family friend) and chalked the rest up to experience. We had a minimun spend we had to achieve at the hotel for food and drinks, and it was a buffet so barely noticable.

 

Post # 11
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Still better than those who RSVP that they are attending and then NO SHOW. 

I would call the caterer and explain that you just had two people cancel on you after you had already gave them the final numbers. They may write you a cheque for the difference of the 2 people not attending, the worst they can say is no. 

Post # 12
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think we’re going to have an uneven number too. I think we’re going to have some with 8 and some with 10, just because of the number of people we have and who they should be seated with.

Post # 13
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would just let it go. There is nothing you can do an please don’t invite an after thought 11 days before the wedding, if that was me I would be so insulted. This is just the same thing as if someone didn’t show and unfortunately I think this happens at every wedding. While the venue probably will not give you a refund (although you can try) they should be able to accomadate a change in seating. I would just tell them you need to make that particular table an eight person table.

Post # 14
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve been invited last minute. I didn’t mind. I wasn’t close enough to the person to make the first cut.

Post # 15
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

it is a common thing, I had that problem too and the venue/caterer should be fine handling it- just let them know and they will do what is best.  

Post # 16
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Agreed — this is better than no-shows.  And I agree with other PPs — just have the caterer have two fewer place settings at that table.  You’re missing the point — the problem isn’t the seating arrangement — it will be fine to have two fewer seats/people at this important table.  and it will look fine too.  The problem is your FIs feelings about what has happened and why.  Do you guys even know why? And I agree with you, the fact that she didn’t call her brother herself to explain is pretty bad (and I assume she’s a grown-up because she has a husband herself).  Maybe you and FI can talk about this a bit and you can acknowledge to him that you feel badly for him, that his feelings must be hurt his sis isn’t coming to his wedding, etc.  and you can suggest he call her himself to see ‘wuz up’, you know?

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