Post # 1
I cancelled my big family wedding that was suposed to take place this summer. Now, we are going to start over, have the wedding we really want, save for it, and invite only friends, co-workers, etc. I am very happy with this, plus, I decided to do it my way, my style, at my dream (although pricey) venue!
The only thing is, FI is done with school in May 2011, so we have to wait for job placement just in case we have to move. Plus, we need time to save for our new wedding. We have been engaged for a year come this June, so, that means at least another year of engagement. I am okay with this, but a little bummed. How do you bees deal with a long engagement. Does it make it more exciting/ wonderful when the wedding finally happens? …I hope?
Post # 3
Congratulations on being able to get what you want.
I like my long engagement because it allows us to get what we want, instead of having to settle for something less.
Post # 4
@noritake -awesome. Thanks for the encouragement. I am only doing this once, so that’s exactly how I feel about it.
Post # 5
I started at 15 months and now have 8 to go. I don’t even know where the time has gone and I bet it will be the same for the next months. The biggest advantage has been choice of vendors and $ savings because I have time to find the best deals or to happen upon sales. I’ve also been able to do alot of DIY.
I don’t know about being more exciting when it gets here. I think I would be the same excited no matter what!
Post # 6
honestly, the best advice I could give you is to stay off of the wedding blogs and inspirational websites. They will just give you way too many ideas and you’ll end up changing your mind a million times on how you want your wedding to look. You’ll probably end up buying things that you don’t need, and this will cost you more money in the end. Anyways, this is just what happened to me at least. I had a 15 month engagement. Everything was planned nice and simply in the beginning. Then I found the world of wedding blogs and all of my ideas and plans had to change to become more complex and more DIY. It took up a lot of time and money. Sure, it made my wedding gorgeous and beautiful, but looking back I could have just stuck with my original ideas from early on in my engagement and the day would have been just as special.
Anyways, just my 2 cents. Don’t be addicted to all the wedding blogs, and focus on what really matters – preparing for marriage and having important discussions with your fiance.
With a long engagement I actually found it harder to be excited about the wedding by the time it came around. The last 6 months were not that great and the last 3 months were hell. You start to break down right around 100 days. I’m sure others will agree with me.
Post # 7
Thanks @amariem. I know what you mean about changing your mind and buying things you don’t need. I changed my mind a zillion times. This time around, I think it will be much more fun. I am just doing exactly what I want, with no family involved. I am very laid back, and it will be a laid back, fun event.
I know what you mean about it being hell- the wedding I just canceled was scheduled to happen in two months. It was hell the entire time- dealing with family, rearranging everything, trying to please others. I never wanted that, and now I know not to do that again. FI and I are not into stress. I know there will be some no matter what, but at least it will now be on our own terms. With the one we just canceled- yikes- we couldn’t even sleep at night, we fought over the way my mother treated me (which we both agreed was bad, I just mean that it caused so much stress), trying to make people happy, etc.
Post # 8
My fiance & I are also having a long engagement, not really by choice. I graduate nursing school in April 2012, so we’ll be getting married summer of 2012. We’ve been engaged since December 2009. Like you, we also want to have a decent-sized wedding with all of our family and friends, and to do that we need to save for it. Honestly, I’m really liking the long engagement so far, because it gives us so much time to plan so I’m not as stressed as I would be if we had less than a year to plan.
Good luck & have fun planning! 🙂
Post # 9
We’re having a 2 1/2 year engagement (we’re about five months in) and it’s both wonderful and hard. It’s wonderful because it makes everything wedding related much lower stress. I can plan when I have time and when I actually want to instead of feeling like I have to get things done right away. I have more time for elaborate DIY and time to realize that some DIY is just never going to happen.
On the other hand, it makes me sad sometimes. I’m looking forward to the marriage, and now it’s farther off. Some days I wish we could sneak off to city hall already, but our parents would never get over that!
At those times I remind myself why we’re having a long engagement – those markers we’ve set for ourselves such as financial independence and a college diploma are important ones for us.
Post # 10
Thanks @Blondee and @lilyfaith. Those markers are important for us too, graduating, having better jobs, independence. I’m glad to hear other brides aren’t settling either ;). (Until we are ready with those things.) I think it is the responsible thing for us to do.
Post # 11
We’ll be engaged a year and a half before tying the knot and I’ve loved our long engagement. At first we were both concerned it’d be a bother to wait that long, but while waiting we’re getting things done for the wedding and not rushing the projects so it’s all perfect! and we were able to book our dream reception site!
Post # 12
we have a 2.5 year engagement and are at the half way point already!! its actually going very fast believe it or not 😀
we are waiting because my FI is finishing up school and we wanted time to save $ (he needs to graduate first and get a job so we can save $). It is hard sometimes when i think about how long we’ve waited and we are still over a year away, but like i said, its actually gone fast and sometimes i freak out that we are not farther along in the planning process 😀
Post # 13
We’re having a two year engagement and I’ve got a love/hate relationship with it. I hate that it feels SO far away because I want to have this big party I’ve been dreaming up, duh! I’m plenty psyched up for it, but I just hope I don’t lose momentum as the big day reaches closer.
I’ve got to say, however, that I’m glad we’ll have waited this long. We’ll be settled into the place we’ll be living for then next eight years and will have a perfectly clear idea of what are the most important items on our registry. It’ll, most importantly, have given us plenty of time to consider what’s most important to us in a wedding and the best vendors for the price/ways we can save money. So we’ll be having EXACTLY the sort of wedding we want and can afford. We won’t be planning in a whirlwind, we’ll have time to contemplate ways to make our wedding personalized.
Post # 14
Cool @veganglam. Thanks. Your wedding will be lovely! I definitely feel that this time around we will be more in control, and have time to make good decisions without as much pressure. I think we may be June 2011, or even June 2012! But, it will be what we want, when we can afford it, on our own terms.
Post # 15
My fiancee and I have been engaged for almost three years now, and we aren’t getting married until June 2013! Sometimes I wish that I could just marry him tomorrow, but unfortunately we just aren’t in the right spot in our lives for it just yet. We are both students, and we are working full time to save up for our dream wedding. I’ve learned to love where I am now, and to enjoy being engaged! I have the rest of my life to enjoy being married! Don’t worry about what some people say about long engagements-just enjoy where you are when you are there.
Post # 16
we have been engaged over a year and it would be a year and a half by the time the wedding comes. i liked that we picked a far off date to make the planning less stressful, but it feels like everytime I turn around, its not close enough…I just want to be his wife and carry his last name already!