- 3 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
I have my resort and wedding booked for December 9 of this year. My fiancée and I want to get married more than anything, but we are considering cancelling the most important day of our lives as a result of circumstances beyond our control.
my fiancée and I currently rent a house from my mother (who has several rental properties), but a few days ago my mother took all of my childhood belongings which we had stored in a storage container on my mothers property, along with items such as jewellery and even my fiancées belongings such as photo albums, and she literally dug a hole in the ground with a backhoe, and BURIED our belongings. She did this without telling us that she had intended to do this, and also did not warn us or give us a reason for her actions. She simply stated that she needed to use that storage container. I have long suspected my mother of having a mental illness, but as far as I am concerned, this is proof. On short notice, my fiancée and I clearly have to scrape together a damage deposit and find another place to rent. We could barely afford the wedding as is, but this unexpected expense may interfere with our ability to afford our wedding. I am also unsure at this point whether I should allow my mother to still attend if the wedding does go ahead.
I offered to help my sister by paying for her plane ticket to attend the wedding. She agreed, and I purchased the ticket. My sister has since decided that she will not be attending and refused to pay the money she owed my for the ticket. I had to take a loss on the cost of the ticket.
My wedding dress was being stored at my sister’s house. My sister smoked in the same room as the dress for months despite my request that she NOT smoke around the dress, and the dress was damaged beyond repair. The cigarette smoke stained the fabric permanently, a gross brown color, and professional attempts to repair it have been unsuccessful. The repeated dry cleanings have damaged the dress further, resulting in frayed fabric edges, loose and missing beads, and shrinkage. i can’t afford to replace this dress, as I saved up for two years to afford it. I had to simply buy a 30 dollar dress off asos to wear, which Is not what I pictured myself wearing on my wedding day.
Initially, my mother gave me her and my fathers old wedding rings to have as our rings. It was a wonderful gesture, especially because my father passed away about 4 years ago. My fiancée and I have decided not to accept the rings because of what my mother did to me the other day. My mother and father were both emotionally abusive to me as a child, and her recent actions brought back bad memories of my childhood. I don’t want my own wedding rings to remind me of bad times in my life. We will need to purchase new rings right away, but because of the circumstances we cannot afford rings right now.
All that aside, I am trying to finish my degree before the wedding. A fellow student has supposedly filed a misconduct claim against me at my university,and I have recieved a letter from the government informing me that I am getting audited. The stress has caused me to indulge in emotional eating to deal with the circumstances, and I have actually gained 20 pounds just prior to my wedding.
At the end of the day, the people I cared about most in my life won’t be attending my wedding. We can’t afford things like rings or a photographer at this point. I want to still get married because we deserve that, but I feel as though our entire wedding has been tainted and ruined in the worst ways. I want to cancel and have our wedding at a better time when we can get our lives back together and have the wedding we WANT, but I feel awful that our few remaining guests had purchased tickets and will be going so far just to see us get married. I don’t want to betray the few remaining people that actually cared about us enough to attend. I am also so scared that I will find myself crying my eyes out on my wedding day because none of my friends or family would be there with me. I will be alone to put on my dress, do my makeup, and all that. I have no bridesmaids except for my sister who has chosen not to attend. to me, it just feels like an inevitable sad situation.
What would you do? take out a loan and go ahead with the wedding or postpone it for a better time? Still have the wedding even though it’s not your dream wedding you had hoped for? Cancel altogether and risk upsetting your guests? Still go to the resort but postpone your special day until circumstances improve? All opinions are appreciated!