Post # 1
The whole wedding thing has just gotten way out of control and there is very little that is anything that is very “me” or what I want to do. So after talking with my fiance, we have decided to entirely change the whole plan. We are still getting married, but we are going to have a small ceremony, much much smaller than we’ve originally been planning.
The wedding isn’t until Septmember but we’ve already sent out Save-The-Date Cards. With the “new” plan, we will not be inviting all the people we originally invited.
So how do I word the cancelation? Do we simply say we’ve cancelled the wedding? Do we tell folks we are having a much smaller ceremony or do we just leave it ambiguous? My finace wants to say we’ve postponed but I worry folks will assume they are invited to the postponed wedding when they aren’t. And…it’s likely it won’t technically be postponed….it might even be sooner.
Post # 3
@cxthewedding: Just be honest and send out an evite that explains you and your fiance’s change of plans. Just inform the guest that you have decided to downsize with a very intimate ceremony. Maybe you two can have some kind of get together for after your wedding that the individuals who will not attend the small ceremony can come to.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy
If it is going to be even sooner, you could send out something cute that says “we just couldn’t wait to marry each other! We decided to have a private ceremony Sooner than anticipated wirh just our parents! we send our love from afar, and beg you forgive our impatience!”
Post # 5
@Quickiebee: I like that wording! I feel like when I see “cancel” I assume it’s BAD, but you make it sound happy & exciting.
Post # 6
We did the same thing and already sent out our save the dates as well. We’re actually eloping on May 3rd and will be sending announcements which works out perfectly with timing. Because now they’ll get elopement announcements versus wedding invitations.
I would send out an email, or even just personally call the people you are going to invite and let them know things are being changed. Then for the other people, send out an announcement of some kinds in the mail. The word cancel doesn’t sound happy, it sounds like you guys have broken up. I would say something like “We have changed our wedding plans and will now be having an intimate wedding with immediate family”
Post # 7
Good ideas, thanks.
I’m more worried that because our wedding was a destination wedding, I at least want to let everyone know they don’t need to make travel plans on our behalf.
Post # 8
This would be the proper wording if your parents were hosting the wedding:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
announce that the marriage of
will not take place
You can replace your parents name with yours and FI’s. Sending people an email or FB or evite kind of thing to let them know the wedding has been scaled down and they didn’t make the cut isn’t polite or gracious.
Post # 9
@hermom: well but is it less gracious than saying “it won’t take place” but then it really will? I wonder if it’s best to be up front and say “we are scaling back our plans” instead of lying and then people finding out later that we didn’t in fact cancel the wedding.
Post # 10
Well, since you haven’t sent out formal invitations yet you don’t necessarily have to send out a cancelation right? If it’s not cancelled then it’s not. I think I would probably call ppl up actually and let them know that you are scaling back your wedding quite a bit and will only be inviting immediate family. Don’t do anything on FB. This is a wedding, not a BBQ.
Post # 11
Well, to do it by the etiquette book you would reschedule your wedding and invite less people. There just isn’t a gracious way to tell people you have to scale back and didn’t make the cut.
Post # 12
@MrsPHopefully: actually it is (or was going to be!) a bbq.
It was never going to be a traditional fancy wedding anyways. We originally did a STD on FB because I don’t believe in sending out Save-The-Date Cards anyways. So about 200 people have an informal STD about the wedding. So as that exists as an “event” on FB I obviously need to cancel it and FB will obviously send out a notification saying “this event has been cancelled”.
There may be no way around some folks being hurt or offended at the lack of invite I’m just hoping to mitigate that as much as possible!
Post # 13
I would just call everyone and explian that you two are still getting married but you’ve decided to have a much smaller wedding. You should also explain that if they haven’t gotten the save the dates that they will and to just ignore it. You should also apologize about the mistake.
Post # 14
@cxthewedding: I would just send out a message through the event stating that you’ve changed your plans for the wedding day and will be scaling it down to include immediate family only. I’d post it on the event page too, then in about a week after everyone has had time to get the message, I’d delete the event.
Post # 15
thanks. that really sounds like the best idea. 🙂