(Closed) Cancelling planned wedding for a much smaller party

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

An elopement, followed by an at home reception that you have described, sounds lovely.  I would warn you, however, that hosting a big party afterwards can be just as expensive as a wedding itself – you’ll still need food, tables, alcohol, DJ, etc.

Post # 4
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I second what futuremrsfitz18 said. eloping wouldn’t really save you anything if you’re going to have a big party, and what’s to stop your mother from ignoring what you want again for that party?

I say just screw what she wants and start over with what you want and leave her out of it. why the hell is she getting so much say in this, especially if you’re paying for it?

Post # 7
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I think two things – one, you need to be stern if you’re paying for the wedding and set boundaries with your FMIL. If she’s paying, then you need to compromise (doesn’t sound like that’s the case though). If you want to do the wedding at home, have your FI say something. She’s going to be in your life the rest of your life and the wedding will pass, but she will still be there, so it’s important to work something out. Your FI could talk to her and say “it’s my second marriage, we want something smaller, please follow our wishes,” etc. even if that’s not fully the case. 

However, Hawaii sounds amazing! Maybe you could just keep that to family and your parents and his could come? Then you would have that special moment with your dad and not completely shut out your FMIL either. I work at Chapel of the Flowers in Las Vegas and we constantly hear stories of couples planning the large, grand wedding and it getting out of control and realizing that’s not what they want so they come here instead. Often times, they’ll have the at-home reception – your BBQ sounds wonderful- watch the video, etc. or we have internet broadcasting so people can watch from home as it happens. You could also still invite a smaller set of people and even less would likely come, so still have the wedding, not need the at-home reception, and all would work out and then you have your honeymoon built in, too. 

Basically, I think if that’s what you want than you are totally okay with doing so. It’s your day after all! 

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