Cannot handle my sister. Oh and she is MOH

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

why does she have to be MOH? Sounds like you havent asked her yet and that’s good because it will be a disaster. She’ll plan nothing and ME ME ME the whole time until your hair falls out.

i would just say sis, I asked BFF to be my MOH. I hope you’re not upset but i know how much planning stresses you out and I don’t want to burden you. 

Post # 4
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@MrsBuesleBee:  +1!

And frankly, it sounds like your sister is going to be a full-on BIATCH either way, so you might as well NOT have the drama of having her be your useless MOH. She can be mad AND not be it!!! 😀

Post # 5
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Yes! Also… Her poor husband. 

Post # 6
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

I personally think she shouldn’t be your MOH. I think you should tell her that you found someone else your feel more comfortable with, no hard feelings and it will be easier on her. Think of it this way, atleast if she isn’t your MOH she may be upset for a while, but atleast you will be happy! If you decide to keep her as your MOH she would likely be very catty the whole way through and you would both probably be even more upset with each other. Besides if she’s acting this way she could very well have some thing going on with herself and may be too preoccupied to really handle her duties as MOH anyways.

Post # 8
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I know she’s your sister and you want to be able to share your wedding planning with her but she sounds like she is not being very sisterly and mean so I would suggest not sharing wedding planning with her.  She can still be your MOH but do the things that you were planning on doing or sharing with your sister with a friend or relative who does care and is being nice and happy for you.  

 

Post # 9
Member
2992 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

First I would ask her if she WANTS to be your MOH. Tell her that while you would love her to be your MOH, if she is going to get too stressed out by all the hoopla that goes along with a wedding, you will certainly understand if she doesn’t want to be and so you are giving her an opportunity to bow out.

Assuming that she continues as MOH, I echo the other bees to leave her out of as much of the planning as possible. If she complains/whines/throws a tantrum, keep telling her that you are trying to avoid stressing her out. If she can use stress as an excuse, so can you.

 

Post # 11
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yepp… my sister was pretty biatchy to me until about 3 – 6 months before our wedding when she suddenly became helpful / interested in what was going on, and she was MOH too. It got that way that I was seriously going to give BFF (who was bridesmaid) a special mention in my speech but not my sister. LUCKILY it all ‘worked out’. 

 

I hope a miracle happens and your sister gets off her high horse and comes through for you. 

Post # 12
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

@MrsDogMama:  Your sister does realize that a ring does not an engagement make, right? An engagement is a commitment to each other and a promise to be married. Not a piece of jewelry. (Although they ARE pretty!)

If it ever comes up again, you should tell her that. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MrsDogMama:  Oh this sounds just like my sister.. When FI bought the ring, I called her to share the secret that our enagement was imminent and the first thing she said was, “Am I your maid of honour?” No congratulations or even pretend excitment. We weren’t even offically engaged yet!! We don’t talk very often and live two states away from each other but there was no way I could say no! Not that FI gets that – he is adamant that I should have my closest friend and scoffs when I say it isn’t worth all the drama. We are only just starting the planning process so I hope it doesn’t get too messy! I like your idea of keeping yourself perky, I’m going to try that too! Best wishes for a stress-free wedding!

Post # 15
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MrsDogMama:  Oh it’s so soon!! You must be getting excited now! Thank you for the advice, I’m keeping her out of the loop as well – it’s just easier to not hear any negativity. It is sad to not have that traditional MOH person but I’m so lucky in that 2 of my closest friends totally understand what she’s like and are basically acting in that role for me! Until she comes down for her dress shopping in June, then they are pretending like they know nothing.. they are too scared of her! Has your sister picked a dress to wear for your wedding yet? Mine hates the one I suggested so will wait and see what I can convince her to comprismise on when she’s here!

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