- 3 years ago
Fi and I absolutely cannot agree on a house, we’re at a complete stale-mate and I’m not really sure where to go from here, or how we’ll find a solution!
Back story: When FI and I met I was renting a place in the city with several roommates. He was renting a small house by himself about 10 minutes out of the city. FI hates the city and had the house to himself so I moved in with him. After a year of dating FI got the home-buying bug really bad. I wasn’t going to purchase a house with him unless we were engaged and he wasn’t ready to get engaged. He found a house that he liked and could afford on his own if we ever broke up. I agreed to be a “tenant” and would pay half the mortgage as my “rent”. I didn’t have much say in the house because it wasn’t my money, this was “HIS” purchase (flame all you want, but this absolutely worked for us at the time). The house was in a town 10 mins out of the city, the drive wasn’t mad so I didn’t mind. We have spent the past 3+ years completely renovating that house to the point where we’re almost done and ready for “our” home.
We don’t want to stay in our current place because it’s directly beside the hotel/bar and it gets quite noisy in the evenings/weekends and FI’s a light sleeper. Our town is between 2 really busy potash mines so our highway is extremely busy and dangerous. Our house used to be a general store, so it sits on the sidewalk like a storefront and we’ve actually had a drunk driver hit our house… it’s just been a thorn FI’s side since we moved there and he wants out BAD. But our mortgage payments are tiny.
We both agree that we don’t want to do a bunch of renovations again, but aren’t opposed to a few cosmetic upgrades. I bake cupcakes on the side, so I need a lot of functional kitchen space. I’d LOVE to live in the city, but know that FI hates it so I’ve said I’d be willing to do a 10 min commute. I’d like to start a daycare when we have kids and stay home until kids are old enough to go to school, and don’t want to move again between now and baby time. We need a minimum of 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. FI is a mechanic and fixer-of-all-things, so he needs a big garage (could use a huge tall workshop and he runs a skidsteer business so needs enough parking for a trailor, his work truck, his personal truck and my vehicle. There’s a small section of the city that he’s agreed to look in because it feels like its own little town, but it’s quite expensive to buy a house that doesn’t need a full update or renovation… about 50 – 100 grand more than our budget allows.
We have both found houses we really like:
His house: 20 minute drive out of the city on the opposite side of town from his work, and a really congested drive to work for me once I get to the city. Outdated, but only HAS to have paint and stuff like that right away. Not much kitchen space, but could make it work. About 1400 square feet, on 40 acres of land with a double garage. Lots of room for parking for everything. Basement is finished but is majorly outdated.
My house: 1200 square feet with finished basement. In the city, 5 min drive to his work, 10 min drive to my work. In a quiet crescent, big trees for privacy and no neighbors in the back. Completely re-done, modern finishes, no renovations or updates required for a long time. Big rumpus room in the basement and big kitchen, double garage and decent sized yard. There is room for all the vehicles and possibly the trailor in the driveway, or trailor can be parked in the backyard if necessary (that’s where it is now, and I couldn’t care less)
Our issues: I don’t like his house because it’s too far away, my drive would be hell and the house needs renovations eventually… wood paneling? BARF!. I don’t want to be stuck out there when I’m on mat leave and I cannot have a daycare out there (no one around to look after) so I’d have to put our kids in daycare and go back to work. He doesn’t like my house because it’s in the city, he could use a bigger garage and the parking situation may be tight.
We are both pretty stubborn, but I’m positive that we won’t find a place that we both love the location of without majorly increasing our budget (which isn’t an option).
That was so long, thank you for reading all that. We’ve been looking at houses for over a year and are exactly where we started….how in the world do we come to a compromise? Am I being unfair by putting a limit on the length of our commute? Is he being unfair by insisting that we live out of town or in neighborhoods where anything in our price range needs major renovations? HELP!?!?