Post # 1
Apparently my grandma isn’t planning on coming to her oldest grandchild’s wedding… all because I’m not inviting the cousin who hates me and has done her best to ruin my relationship with my grandparents. It looks like she’s succeeded.
The cousin (and her dad) live with my grandparents. Ever since then, my cousin has gotten all the attention and still craved more. She’s gone to pretty ridiculous lengths to get it, and my mom and I constantly found evidence to prove that she’s a liar. Grandma has, of course, not believed any of it, and it’s been ripping my formerly close-knit family apart.
I’m polite to the cousin when I have to see her, which is often because they live close, but she still talks about how awful I am and pins her “problems” on me. I’ve long since dropped the whole ordeal, and only talk about it to my mom when my cousin does something again and FH afterwards to relay the situation to him. I just didn’t want her at my wedding, and I figured my grandma would understand that since she knows we don’t get along.
Nevermind that my wedding is also a year and 8 months away. She seems to have already made up her mind. She’ll stop my grandpa from coming too, even though he stays out of everything.
So much for “putting family first” and “not playing favorites”, something she has always stressed because she has 7 sisters and a brother.
My grandma and I used to be so close, and that’s the worst part.
I don’t even know where to begin to deal with this.
Post # 3
Your wedding is still a very long time away. For the time being focus on your relationship with your Grandparents. try to sepnd time with them away from your cousin and uncle, maybe go out for lunch. They may change their minds all on their own.
Post # 4
HUGS!! I am so sorry!
I have a family situation very similar except my grandmothers oldest grandchild (my cousin) refused to go to my wedding because he had a falling out with my cousins and uncle who live with my grandparents…. they all came because my grandma forced him to. 🙂
I am so sorry you are having this falling out with your family… I completely know how you feel! Honestly though, the day of the wedding you will be so busy and so happy you will barely notice. I had a bridesmaid who got super sick the morning of my wedding and couldn’t be in my line and I was sad but I honestly didn’t give it a second though after I walked own the isle. 🙂 I know its not the same as family, but its still your day and you will have a great time!
Post # 5
@ieatunicorns: I’ve tried. This has been going on for almost 2 years now. I call her all the time and ask to go to lunch or just run errands with her, but she always blows me off because she has to do something for my cousin. On the off chance I do see her, we have a great day and then 2 days later my cousin does something that makes everything worse again.
@SweetartMD: Thank you. I hope something changes between now and then, but right now it’s just really crappy. My grandma and I used to be really close. I’m having a super small wedding, so I’ll definitely notice that she’s not there. Especially if she keeps my grandpa from coming too.
Post # 6
She may come around in time, the wedding is a long ways away. Why would you tell her your decisions about the guest list this far out when you know it’s going to cause problems?
Post # 7
@thursdayschild: I didn’t, so I’m assuming my mom did. Though I didn’t think it would cause such a problem. We’re having a very small wedding, so a lot of people are being excluded. I wouldn’t have thought my grandma would be so offended that I wasn’t inviting someone I clearly don’t get along with.