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@eloping, I couldn't agree with your response to GothyBride2B more.
GothyBride2B - I think your words were totally inappropriate and uncalled for. This was not a discussion about people's opinions on strippers and I don't think anyone appreciates such outright hostility. Please be a bit more considerate in the future. Not every opinion needs to be shared, although you are clearly welcome to yours.
This thread makes me want to go to a strip club! I've been to one with a guy I was seeing before I met my FI. I got a lap dance, and it was so awkward. Haha I tried to talk to her about her cute back tatoo.
While the thought of my FI going to a strip club doesn't give me the warm fuzzies, I'm of the mindset "you do what you want, babe." I trust him and I know he would never, EVER cheat on me, especially with a stripper. He doesn't really like strip clubs and his ideal bachelor party is camping/fishing/drinking with the boys. Fine with me, but also fine with me if you really want to go to a strip club.
I don't want male strippers at my party, but if my girls got me one as a joke, that's exactly how I'd take it. As a JOKE. I wouldn't stomp out of there, huffing and puffing because HOW DARE my BMs want to have a little fun with me.
@gothybride: Your assumptions are insulting. Are there strippers out there who probably fit your stereotype? I'm sure there are. But to judge people you don't know is just not fair. If I were to get up on a bar at a club and dance, would that make me a whore, too? Because I wear low cut shirts and dance at bars and grab the attention of guys, does that make me a whore? Just something to think about.
I have two friends who used to ..ahem.."dance" ...my one friend made $1500 a night sometimes. I was a waitress making $500 a week. Sometimes I was like "who is the dumbass here-me or her?" LOL.
Wow. You know, gothybride, nobody has made any insulting comments towards you and the way YOU live your life. So why do you choose to say things about somebody else's profession? Since when are you better than them, anyways? Because you have a different type of job?
Weddingbee is not the place for that kind attitude
Here is some food for thought before we all go judging other people who we don't know for THEIR life choices: "Always remember that people's behavior and their reactions to things usually have a lot more to do with what's going on with them than what's going on with you"
@flamingred: SERIOUSLY! Those girls make BANK! When I went to a strip club, the guy I was with knew the door guy. The door guy actually ASKED ME what I was doing for the summer and if I had a summer job. Implying that he wanted ME to work there!! I just laughed it off.
Hmmm, I missed this debate yesterday and I don't have too much to add on the topic, except that I have zero problem with strippers and what they do. You gotta pay the bills, it's legal, and if responsible adults want to make a decision to go see that, more power to them. If my fiance went, I wouldn't care, just as he didn't care when I went to a Chippendale's show with my younger sister.
I also agree that no one should be making assumptions or insulting remarks about people in this profession. Who knows if people on this board did it in the past, present, or will in the future?
Side note: if anyone wants a (very) interesting view on the stripping industry, check out the book "Candy Girl" by Diablo Cody (the writer of the movie Juno) She (while with her longtime boyfriend) became a stripper for a year and wrote about the experience.
@gothybride-there are idiots out there who think the word "goth" implies people with weird fetishes who suck blood and practice wicca. I'm just sayin.
I have no problem with strippers/strip clubs. I have heard stories about inappropriate things happening there, but I think it is probably not the norm and it takes two to tango. I wouldn't LOVE it if my guy went to one and got a lap-dance, but I kind of chalk it up to boys-being-boys and as long as he kept his hands to himself and didn't cross a line (which I trust him not to do), I'm fine.
In the past I had a rule with bfs: they could go to strip clubs but could not get a lap dance. Guess I trust this one more :)
I don't have an issue with the strip club. It's entertainment just like anything else. FH and I have been to Female clubs together and its not a big deal. There are always different crowds some that pay attention to the girls that are dancing and others that don't that are just drinking and conversing. If you trust your guy you should have anything to worry about.
You know, I actually went to a few strip clubs in my younger days - in the town where I grew up, it was kind of a known fact that strip clubs would serve alcohol without carding you if you were under 21. So, me and my girlfriends would occasionally take some guys with us and make a big goofy night of it!
Honestly, I think strip clubs are one of the safest places you could send your guy for a bachelor party! They are SO strict about what can and cannot go down. And in all honesty, strippers tend not to be interested - they are there to make money and get guys to buy drinks and lap dances. They will be flirty, yes, but to them it is just a job and the guys are just customers, so underneath it all there is usually an "I could care less" attitude.
In some ways, I think the odds of a drunk girl trying to hook up with my guy would be much greater at the local meat market dance club!
@gothybride2b I don't think it is okay for women to call other women "whores, skanks, sluts" any of it. Regardless of the circumstances, regardless of joking. All it does it gives men permission to use those words, which are really just tools to degrade, oppress and objectify all women. Even women who actually exchange sex for money deserve the dignity of being called sex workers. You don't know the circumstances that led them to these choices.
Still, this has been 99% a thoughtful, intelligent discussion. Your girls are so awesome!
PS I know I am 16 hours later, but @bellenga's comment about the yeast infection almost made me spit our my coffee laughing!
omg... seriously?
And *I'm* the judgemental one?
I think women who sell sex for money are gross and I am entitled to that opinion. Get over it. Wow. This is seriously the nastiest bunch of people I have seen online for a long time.
Last I checked, a woman who sells sexual services of any kind for cash is a whore. That's the very defination of the word. It's not PC these days. But it's true. I would not sell my body in any way shape or form for any amount of money and I have absolutely no respect for anyone who does. There are always other ways to earn a living. I have more respect for the lady who cleans the toilets at my workplace.
I'm done with this thread. And this site, quite frankly.
As the one other girl who seems to agree with me said, cheating begins with the eyes. If you all are okay with yourselves and your furture husbands oogling oversexed, naked members of the opposite gender, so be it. But get off your high horses and stop judging people who think it's gross, disrespectful and unfaithful.
Maybe the fact that so many people are okay with that sort of crap is the reason the divorce rate is so high in this country. Who knows.
We're not judging people who think it's gross and/or disrespectful. LOTS of women have stated they think it's disrespectful and don't want their FI's to participate. We simply think it's inappropriate to use language like "sluts, skanks, whores" etc in regards to anybody and that you need to check your attitude.
Tones and langue like that is generally not accepted on this site and will not be just because you come here and think it is suddenly ok to say those things. It is generally accepted that the community does not act like that and even women who don't approve don't come on here slurring with those kinds of words. Where would it end, right?
Litzwitz agreed with you on the "It's not ok" stance. But she did not jump on board with the "let's call women in the exotic industry skanks" either.
Last I checked, finances are the #1 reason for divorce.
I think we can all have a healthy discussion/debate without a bad attitude, that's all.
Agree with EJS. It's okay to think that the practice is "gross" as you say, and that you and your fiance do not want to participate.
But there are not *always* other ways to make a living for certain people, and there are individuals who don't want to find another way to make a living. It takes all different people to do all different jobs and luckily we live in a society where we can pick what we want to do, whether others agree with it or not.
I also agree that using these derogatory words as a woman, towards other women makes it acceptable for men to use these terms. I wouldn't want those words said about me, so I don't use them in reference to other women.
It appears that some people on this site (myself included) enjoy different aspects of the sex industry (be it movies, clubs, photos, etc.) and it's not necessarily related to deviancy or disease. I'm certainly not tempted to cheat because I might enjoy watching a certain movie or something with or without my fiance.
I only scanned through some of the posts on this topic but here is my input.
My FH and I both are totally against going to strip clubs. We both think it is not important to us nor do we feel the need to go.
Reading a lot of the posts, I keep thinking "what about the strippers" ya they make great money but at what cost? Self respect/worth? It is very sad to me that stip clubs even exist. . I would put money on the fact that most of them hate what they do and some might not feel they have a choice and the money is keeping them there.
Just think of your daughter someday doing that.... are you cool with that?
I am not cool with it and I never will be. And I thank God that my FH and all his friends don't even think of a strip club as an option for entertainment or anything else for that matter.
and due to the popularity feed back on this post - it messes with relationships - if it is THAT important to your guy over your happiness and self worth (cause it messes with that too) .... its def not worth it!
I also agree that it could be a relationship breaker if the FH did want to go.. what are you not <span style="text-decoration: underline;">going to get from me that you need from them??
p.s. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers..... Read it. It will change your life :)
Last I checked, the mister hasn't been single for nearly two years. If he wanted to get it out of his system, he had years before I came along.
That being said, he doesn't like strip clubs, but he's been to plenty. So have I. I don't really mind the nicer ones (i.e., not full nudity) and I've had fun at some parties there. I've even had some friends buy me a lapdance--it was awkward, and kind of funny. I ended up chatting with the girl later on, and she was really nice. My friend is dancing now to pay down her student loans and save up for grad school. I don't know how she does it, but she does, so I can't really pass judgement on strippers in general. The mister has been to strip bars since we've been together: once for his brother's bachelor party, and the other time was when he got back from Iraq (he was a platoon leader, and his guys wanted to thank him, by getting him the least attractive stripper they could find). Do I like him going? Nope. Does he? Not really.
We prefer burlesque shows as a fun and risque sort of night, and have been tossing around the idea of doing a Jack and Jill party at a burlesque bar. What can I say, to each his own.
Admittedly I tend toward the liberal and more accepting when it comes to sexual matters (provided you are being safe - to me there should be no exceptions on that one.) Honestly, though, I don't know if I agree with the idea that it's bad, sad, whatever, for a woman to become an exotic dancer. If you go with the idea that a woman using her sexuality for profit or attention is always bad, then what about...
Swimsuit models that do scantily clad magazine covers where everything is visible through a wet suit? Shampoo advertisements in Europe, where seeing a woman's breasts is considered normal? A sun bather on a beach who trots out in a sexy bikini, knowing full well that men will be oggling her? Certain cultures where explicitly sexual dances are part of a rich cultural history?
Are there strippers who are down and out, come from a background of abuse, are addicted to drugs, etc.? I'm sure there are, but then, there are high powered CEOs who are closet alcoholics. I think there are also women who are very together and do it as a trade.
Honestly, I think this topic makes my inner hippie come out a little bit! I have a much bigger problem with women involved in violence or detrimental acts (say, becoming an advertiser to young teens for a big cigarette company,) than displaying their sexuality as a trade.
I'm going to go tie on a bandana and sing about making love not war now...
Edited to say: I understand that some women may object to this trade for religious reasons, and I completely respect that!
@gothybride-all we are saying is don't stereotype. It isn't nice, even when you are talking about strippers. We don't know what kind of circumstances made anyone go into that business and it could be something as simple as for the money or as sad as sexual abuse.
I think we can all just about agree that "sex sells" is certainly true in all arenas 
I have a friend who was a professional cheerleader. Is she nasty, too? She wears an awfully skimpy outfit AND men oggle her because she's gorgeous and has a rocking athletic body. I didn't think so....well, maybe some people do. Pretty sure I know what most men are thinking when they do a kick line with their long legs and can easily do the splits! I know I'M jealous of that flexibility!
Don't lie...you all are, too 
. K, back to strippers!
Hey guys - some of these comments have gotten a bit personal. I'm gonna close this thread for now...
Thanks,
Mr. Bee
This topic has been closed to new replies.
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