Post # 1
So, I’m a bad bride.
with less than a month & a half between me & my wedding date, I wondered why I seemingly couldn’t make headway with my wedding planning.
Then I realized… I don’t want this wedding. It doesn’t have to do with not wanting to get married, I have zero apprehension about that aspect. No, but I realized this wedding was all about my fiancé, and his family, and what they wanted. I never was the type to dream about my wedding, but I after signing up for something I totally didn’t want, I realized what I did want…
…A really small wedding. And now, with invites out, and 85% of our too-many guests being my fiancé’s, I am having major anxiety and am even borderline depressed about what’s to come.
i suggested perhaps doing a courthouse elopement and then having our “wedding” be a reception party. He’s totally against it.
I’m at at a loss, and have no idea where to go from here. I fee. Likei have no choice but “lose” on this one, and regret my decision and inability to fix this because it took me so long to figure out what my problem was.
Post # 3
@mamawolf: If losing this ‘battle’ will lead to resentment, and anger post-marriage, then you need to fight for what you want. I am not sure where your ceremony location is being held, but I think a fair and needed compromise is you and him at a courthouse in the next few weeks. This way you get your small, intimate marriage. No on needs to know. On your ‘wedding’ date then, you play the part of the doting bride, you say your “I do’s” once more in front of these guests, and then try to enjoy the love and laughter at the reception thereafter.
Post # 4
@mamawolf: *hugs* I totally get what you mean. I wanted to elope and FI wants a wedding, at least the middle ground is that we have a small 60-65 person wedding that’s not so traditional.
Wish I had some advice. Sorry lady.
Post # 5
Thanks for the responses, & apologies for my poorly written post on my mobile. It’s hard to talk to him about this, especially when he takes it as, I don’t want to marry you. This really sucks. I’m a complete introvert, and he’s the exact opposite, & I feel like this will be setting the tone for our marriage… Where my needs & wants are going to be pushed aside because there’s no way he’s going to upset everyone by telling them there’s been a change of plans.
i am desperate at this point, & reaching out to all corners of the universe in hopes that someone can propose a magic solution that I haven’t thought about.
Post # 6
@mamawolf: If you feel like hes not going to consider your needs and wants then maybe reconsider getting married at least right now marriage is all about compromise not one spouse having more say then the other.