Can't decide what kind of wedding to have/if i even want a wedding

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

@beanowl:  Congratulations on your recent engagement!! 🙂

The best advice I received was from FI’s best man: do what you and your fiancé want; no matter what you do, something will always make someone (other than the both of you) unsatisfied.

Here are my own pros of having a DW:
– You get to spend more time with your guests, especially if you decide to have a casual breakfast the next day. I just attended a cousin’s DW in Southeast Asia last December. It was really nice to see family I haven’t seen in over 10 years!
– Guests would not run away right after dinner is done. (This is particularly true in most Chinese banquets; cultural norm, I suppose!) It could also double as vacation for your guests.
– The location is meaningful to us.

– I am looking to spend at least $2k to charter a bus for 50 guests.
– FI is speculating that nobody would come because it’s too far. (6 hours drive for us)
– Elderly with mobility issues would not be able to attend — however, I have read on Offbeat Bride how they got to watch the ceremony live via Skype. (The laptop got front row seat)


Did I run into any objections while planning a (semi) destination wedding? Yep! A lot of other DW brides encountered similar problems. Here is the thread I started. (

However, I could never see myself plan a vow renewal. So, I kinda just want to get it done once — no second receptions. Even if it ends up with fewer guests and just the two of us, we’re sticking to our venue.

Post # 4
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@beanowl:  I’d go for the dress, it doesn’t have to cost a fortune, but like you said ‘when else are you going to get to dress up like this?’.  I’d say for now just enjoy being engaged, it’s a great feeling. Don’t even think of planning your wedding right now, just enjoy being engaged with the love of your life.  DW are aresome, but can quite easily be more expensive than a ‘regular’ wedding.  Above all as long as the two of you are on the same page, then ignore everyone else who will provvide you well meaning but confusing advice.

Post # 6
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@beanowl:  Congrats on the engagement!  My advice is to not decide now, enjoy being engaged.  It’s a fun and great time, you’re going to have the rest of your lives to be married so enjoy this time.  Not everyone is into the whole center of attention (myself being one of them), in that case I’d suggest a small wedding party rather than a big get together.  Think of it as a initimate party with your friends.  One of the most stressful parts for the non-look-at-me group is dress shopping.  I’d suggest that you go with a small group or alone and do several small visits rather than doing it all at once.  (That’s as far as I’ve gotten so far so I can’t give you advice beyond that).  But above all enjoy yourself!  Congrats!

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