Can't decide who will be my bridesmaids -HELP!

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

When is the wedding? I say, if you have time, don’t decide right away. 

Post # 4
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think you should pick who you love most and have the strongest friendship with, even if that means having 10 bridesmaids to his 4 groomsmen because you love them all equally.   

Don’t pick somebody or exclude anybody based on their party-planning skills or procreation choices- base it on the fact that it would break your heart not to have them stand up beside you.  

Post # 5
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

You never know, dynamics change. I agree with the pp though, don’t base it on who’s going to be the best planner or have the most time. Ask the people you love most. Although, is there a reason you want exactly 4 bridesmaids? Our bridal party will be uneven, with 4 ladies, 2 or 3 gentlemen, and 3 little flower girls, but it’ll represent us very well and include the people we are closest to.

Post # 7
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Abrereton:  I really don’t like the idea of picking one girl to represent each group. If someone in my circle is chosen and I’m not, I don’t feel like she represents me – I feel like she was chosen ahead of me.

Just my opinion:  because those three are a bit of a “group”, I would choose none of them. I think it’s the best way to avoid hard feelings.

When it comes to bridesmaids, I think “less is better”. I also don’t like the idea of pre-determining a number. The better way to go is to decide how many girls you cannot possibly leave out, and have just them.

Post # 8
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Abrereton:  I’m always in favour of choosing whoever is the most mellow and least emotional. I like things to be easygoing. I made a bit of a mistake in picking one of my BM who has a tendency sometimes to be a little bit dramatic at times and it ended up complicating more things than I thought it would. She is not usually bad but couldn’t handle the group I guess.

In your shoes, I think I’d probably throw the groups out the window and just picked the ones I love the most. Not the one who will be there the easiest or will plan the best stuff, because sometimes the ones you didn’t expect to be able to do that much will surprise you. 

The other consideration is, who do you want in your photos? I don’t mean who is the prettiest. I look at mine and I see my 2 favourite girls in the whole world and the third one that just reminds me of how much trouble she caused during the planning. Eh, hindsight is 20/20.

Post # 9
Member
2357 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

It doesn’t sound like you should pick any of them. When I chose my BMs they were people I knew without a doubt I wanted with me in this big step in my life. I didn’t think about what they could or couldn’t do for me. If you don’t value any of those girls in that way, don’t chose any. Please don’t use people as props to reach a certain number of bridesmaids. 

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