Can't decide who will be my bridesmaids -HELP!

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - hotel

Personally I think you already know you want friend 3, but are struggling to justify it. But regardless of who you pick, you mustn’t rush this. Make your choice, keep it to yourself and mull it over for a few days. If you’re still happy and feeling good about it, ask them. Talk about the practicalities and what event they can do and support they can realistically offer, do this straight away. If you’re both happy, all is good. If not, you’ve started by stateing exacly what you need from a bridesmaid and if they can’t offer it you can pass the duties onto another friend, without them having had time to get excited or stressed about it. That way you’re less likely to cause stress and drama.


Good luck choosing, I hope your planning goes wonderfully!

Post # 4
151 posts
Blushing bee

Do not pick bridesmaids based on who could attend the bachelorette and bridal shower.  Pick whichever friends you want standing up with you at your wedding.  It sounds like maybe you should only go with the three bridesmaids you have already chosen.

Post # 5
2 posts

I agree with CuppaSarah, based on your description you want friend 3 and I think you should pick her.  Unless she tells you she can’t even go to your wedding because she needs to take care of her kids.

Since your Maid of Honor would be responsible for planning/coordinating the bridal shower/bachelorette party, friend 3 can be there to pitch in ideas and advice, even if she can’t make it to both events.  

(I have a similar situation where one of my bridesmaids has a young girl and couldn’t make it to the bachelorette party, but she’s here for moral support and she will be bringing her daughter to the bridal shower and wedding so it’s all good for me!)

Post # 6
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015


Go with friend #3, it’ll work out. I have one BM with 2 young kids (1 &3), another with a 1 year old and another one who’s about to give birth any second (baby will be 5 months old at wedding). They’ve all been great! And they’re all coming to all of the wedding events, so you never know. Just because someone has kids doesn’t mean they can’t/won’t help you out. And if she feels like she can’t if she’s close, she’ll tell you.

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