Post # 1
My fiancé and I are trying to determine our wedding party.. On my side, I will have my sister as my maid of honor, my sister-in-law as a bridesmaid, and two other bridesmaids. I’m struggling on who to pick for my bridesmaids, though. I have two close circle of friends, and I would like to choose one girl from each circle to represent the groups. in the one group, I have already decided who to choose, but my other group is much more difficult because The four of have been close for years and usually all get togther every few months to catch up.. they all have different strengths:
friend 1: lives 4 hours away, probably talk her a bit less because of the distance, have been friends since high school
friend 2: I have been friends with her the longest and probably has been the better friend (but didn’t ask me to be in her bridal party even though she asked the other two), is quiet but creative, no kids
friend 3: i have the most in common with her, but have been friends with her the least amount of time, she would definitely stand up for me/have my best interests in mind, but has 2 small kids so I’m wondering if she can do all the bridal commitments (shower, bachelortte, etc)
i really am stuck with this 🙁 I don’t want to hurt their feelings but I would like to pick one. Help!! Any advice?????????
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2014 - hotel
Personally I think you already know you want friend 3, but are struggling to justify it. But regardless of who you pick, you mustn’t rush this. Make your choice, keep it to yourself and mull it over for a few days. If you’re still happy and feeling good about it, ask them. Talk about the practicalities and what event they can do and support they can realistically offer, do this straight away. If you’re both happy, all is good. If not, you’ve started by stateing exacly what you need from a bridesmaid and if they can’t offer it you can pass the duties onto another friend, without them having had time to get excited or stressed about it. That way you’re less likely to cause stress and drama.
Good luck choosing, I hope your planning goes wonderfully!
Post # 3
Thank you so much for the great advice! How did you know I was leaning more to #3?! I have quite a bit of time still to think it over (my wedding is not til Aug 2015) which is good. 🙂
Post # 4
Do not pick bridesmaids based on who could attend the bachelorette and bridal shower. Pick whichever friends you want standing up with you at your wedding. It sounds like maybe you should only go with the three bridesmaids you have already chosen.
Post # 5
I agree with CuppaSarah, based on your description you want friend 3 and I think you should pick her. Unless she tells you she can’t even go to your wedding because she needs to take care of her kids.
Since your Maid of Honor would be responsible for planning/coordinating the bridal shower/bachelorette party, friend 3 can be there to pitch in ideas and advice, even if she can’t make it to both events.
(I have a similar situation where one of my bridesmaids has a young girl and couldn’t make it to the bachelorette party, but she’s here for moral support and she will be bringing her daughter to the bridal shower and wedding so it’s all good for me!)
Post # 6
Go with friend #3, it’ll work out. I have one BM with 2 young kids (1 &3), another with a 1 year old and another one who’s about to give birth any second (baby will be 5 months old at wedding). They’ve all been great! And they’re all coming to all of the wedding events, so you never know. Just because someone has kids doesn’t mean they can’t/won’t help you out. And if she feels like she can’t if she’s close, she’ll tell you.