Can't find a date. Help!!!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do if you were in my shoe?
    Nov 23 and hope people won't be upset : (24 votes)
    40 %
    Nov 30 and hope people won't be upset : (14 votes)
    23 %
    Dec 21st and hope my dad is okay : (4 votes)
    7 %
    Early Nov and have a reception at a place like church gym : (3 votes)
    5 %
    Postpone to January (includes postponing honeymoon, living together until summer) : (13 votes)
    22 %
    Other genius idea : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    6158 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    what if you have a small or court house wedding ASAP, and then have a big one year anniversary vow renewal party just like your wedding could be after you graduate.

    Post # 4
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Honestly, I would choose a Friday night wedding if you can’t get the day you want.  I would go with November 23rd or something even earlier in November.  

    Post # 6
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    First, you are so sweet to think of everyone else when picking your date.  However, you really have to do what’s right for YOU and your FI in the end.  Prioritize immediate family, but keep in mind that a portion of your guest list will probably not be able to attend.

    I would hope that if you end up picking Dec 21 that your dad would make every effort to be at his daughter’s wedding.  Along the same lines, if you pick either Nov 23 or Nov 30 FI’s family might be really excited to incorporate Thanksgiving traditions into your wedding week.  Just have honest conversations with immediate family and hopefully you will find a compromise for everyone!

    Good luck!

    Post # 7
    789 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think that you should either plan something at a venue you can find before December 15th, avoiding the weekends around Thanksgiving, or hold off until January.

    Are you able to get time off during the fall semester to have a wedding? I would think that it would be easier for you to do it during your winter break.

    My brother was married on December 28th, 4 hours away from most of the guests. He had 90% attendance, so its definitely doable.

    Post # 8
    1364 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Why don’t you do Nov 23 and have a Thanksgiving dinner wedding?? After all, Thanksgiving is about being with the ones you love and ebing thankful for the wonderful things in your life and God’s blessings…. sounds kind of awesome if you ask me!

    Post # 9
    1466 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @Mee:  I agree with a lot of the other bees-do what you need to do for you and FI! I think a wedding around thanksgiving sounds awesome. And if it’s on the Friday or weekend after thanksgiving I bet you’ll get great attendance because many people get time off although a few might not be able to make it, but that’s inevitable at any wedding. Good luck and congratulations!

    Post # 10
    918 posts
    Busy bee

    For the non-US bees, could you please explain why people would be upset about having to attend a wedding on both 23 Nov and 30 Nov?  I had always thought that Thanksgiving was a one day thing, in which case I would understand people not wanting to attend a wedding on Thanksgiving Day, but I’m not sure why it would cause a problem with two weekends in a row?

    Post # 11
    697 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Why not do a NYE wedding? That would be so fun and fancy. Everyone has the next day off anyway, and you could take Thurs/Fri for a long honeymoon weekend and plan a longer trip in the summer if you don’t have time for one now.

    Post # 12
    2620 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    my first marriage was a saturday befor thanksgiving. his family had big weeklong tradition of stayin at cabin and enjoy family and the woods and what not. those who came to the wedding were on the road right after dinner to head back to cabin 5hr away. we followed the next day to join them up at cabin.. family will be there which ever date you choose if you plan early enough and give warning. we got invited to a reception for an earlier marriage but with 3 weeks notices and it being across the country we cant make it because realisticly 3 weeks notice is not enough time with school age children finishin their last days of school and local parties rsvped months in advance….

    Post # 13
    761 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    You can’t please everyone. it’s just impossible. My wedding was November 25, 2012. All of the important people in my life showed up, and we had a fabulous time. I would pick a date that works best for you personally, and people that care will make it work. Thanksgiving happens every year, your wedding day is just a once in a lifetime event. It’s not like you’re getting married on the actual holiday. 

    Post # 14
    2172 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    Thanksgiving is November 28, 2013.  So November 23 shouldn’t conflict with their Thanksgiving plans, unless they’re a week long.  At least in the US.

    I agree with PPs.  Just pick the day that works best for you and your immediate family.  If they care enough, they’ll try to make it work.  (Though obviously there are exceptions like boot camp, pregnancy, graduation.  But it’s crazy to plan around all of that.)

    Post # 15
    3249 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think a Thanksgiving wedding is a great idea!  I proposed on (US) Thanksgiving to my American girlfriend (now fiancée).

    Post # 16
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think the weekend before Thanksgiving will be fine! I don’t think anyone will be upset!

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