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the issue with that (gorgeous) ring is that the stone is set quite low and the prongs, as a result, are also low. Unless you get a very thin band, its going to hit the prongs and not sit flush against the band. Now for me, I dont care that it doesnt sit flush, but the banging of the prongs would irritate me and make me nervous. You might consider getting one custom made with a bit of an arch to compensate for the low prongs. If you're like me, you dont want to wear them on different hands right? You could always wear that on your rght hand...
Miss MaryJane has a marquis, chekc out her posts for her wedding band photos. They COULD give you some inspiratin (I cant remember off the top of my head what they look likE)
Hmmm... jusging from the side view picture, I think its possible, but I doubt you can buy one "off the rack". It might need to be a custom piece that takes into account the shape of the diamond.
Have you only looked at one jewler's? You might shop around, or start shopping for a jewlery designer instead of just a seller.
Good luck!
Kelly - your calm tone is really helpful today. You really think it's pretty? Lately I've been having issues, but I feel like a terrible person for saying that it's not my style really. ;/
Anyways, that's exactly right, I don't want to wear them on separate hands, and it would bother me greatly if there were a gap or if they were banging into each other. How could I find a jeweler to make a custom ring? I'm living in an unfamiliar town to me, and every jeweler says they're the best, of course.
I agree with the pp's. I think you are going to have to find a jeweler that does custom work. It can be done, it'll just take a little more time and effort. Don't give up yet!
My fiance and I aren't living together, and wont' be in the same town until 4 months before the wedding. Is that enough time for custom rings to be made?
Tessa - nobody I work with got married locally. ;/ I mean, I could ask the secretaries if they've heard of someone, but it looks like they got married a long time ago...
that is such a gorgeous ring! i am jealous!!
i don't know much about getting rings custom made but i know loads of people do it. that is probably the best route for you to take. good luck!
@coconutmellie The ring is beautiful, but if it isn't your style this maybe be a good reason to change the setting. Then you could find something that is perfect, and buy the setting and band to match.
If you want to stick with the original there are thin enough rings out there. Mine has diamonds and sapphires all the way around and it sits almost flush to my hand. If you don't want the hassle or expense of a custom ring I would just go out and try on a whole bunch of styles. You won't really know how it fits together until you see and feel both on your finger. Trial and error.
My custom ering took about a month to make but it was over the Christmas and New Years holidays. My wedding band took about a week.
Edit: My jeweler no longer has a store and is working out of her house. So she has very few customers. I would definitley ask each jeweler what their timeline is.
sjbee - I started doing that, but every jeweler I went to had rings in only one size, so I could never try different styles out in the right sizes - I thought it was going to be a happy mid-afternoon pick me up, but it was instead really frustrating.
Frankly, and I feel like the WORST person in the world for saying this, but it's the diamond shape. I had never seen a marquise diamond in my life, and... I dont like it. It's traumatizing to have that opinion about the one ring I've wanted most for 10 years.
@coconutmellie - Always here to help =o) dont feel bad saying that you are not the biggest fan. I think marquise diamonds are stunning...However I am not a fan of them on my hands. I get jealous when I see them on Mis sMJs, it just looks beautiful on her. I know your mom might be crushed, but do you think perhaps if you mentioned that you are having a hard time finding a band due to the setting that she might be ok with you wearing it as a right hand ring? Then you can get your dream engagement ring and not feel bad about not loving it. you wont be completely abandoning it, you know? You should get an elated feeling when you look down at your engagement ring and wedding band...
Im not sure where you live, but if you are not into the idea above, perhaps try another town over for a custom band? Or try an Alchemy search on etsy, they can provide you with some huge resources and alternatives you may have never thought of.
Coconutmellie,
I don't mean to be mean or disrespectful to your mom, as I'm sure she has her reasons and it was very generous for her to give your FI the ring to use, but she needs to "put on her big girl panties" and realize that it's not her ring anymore, and that you should have the right to do what you want with it! It's not like you want to chop it up into thousands of pieces and have it reset into the shape of the devil or something-- I mean, it seems like you would be happier if you could simply get it dipped to change it to a white setting, not yellow.
Does she know how much angst this is causing you, and that it's filling you with negative energy each time you look down, and feel disappointment (and a bit of anger at not being able to change it)?
I didn't love the marquis cut either, for my hand, until I saw one set sideways-- East/West. So pretty! Your stone would be beautiful set in this way, with just a simple white gold band.
I'm sending good wishes your way that you can someday convince your mother to be ok with you resetting the gorgeous stone into something that's more your style. Good luck!
marquis.jpg (1.5 KB, 78 downloads) 2 years old EastWest.jpg (13.1 KB, 82 downloads) 2 years old 
I agree that if you are truly unhappy with it, your mom needs to get over it. She gave it to you, it's not a loaner =]. My mom by the way, has a gorgeous marquis. It's got 4 or so smaller marquis set around it and is flanked by a contoured row of rounds on either side. No pictures, sorry! They are very elegant with a little bit of vintage flair =]. I looove that sidways one; i've seen it other places and it is really a neat shape.
In finding a jeweler, I think you coudl just pop open yahoo local or a phone book, google "Jeweler" and make some calls. SOMEBODY is bound to do custom rings OR will know someone who does. A private jeweler is your best bet versus a retail store perhaps
I love that ring! Don't get frustrated, you will find something. It is lovely and unique and you should embrace it! I have an antique ring, and I had a similar problem. I ended up getting an antique partial eternity ring (from the same era, 30's) that does not "fit" as the curved ones all looked weird. I actually like that there is a gap between the two. I did not think I would, but I really do. In the end it looked better to get a ring that 'matched' as opposed to 'fit against'. Try going to an antique jewelry store, you may find a match.
jhphi - laughing @ "chopping it up into 1000 pieces and putting it into the shape of the devil"
I agree with what the other posters have said here. Your mom needs to grow up. That said, MY mom also needs to grow up about a lot of things, but guess what? Moms don't always do that.
My sneaky suggestion would be to not say anything to your mom about not liking the ring. It will hurt her feelings if she is as sensitive as you say.
The stone is gorgeous-- and big!! But if marquis isn't your thing, it isn't your thing! Thats okay! I have a big round stone that I don't really like very much either, its not the end of the world to have different taste. It doesn't make you ungrateful.
My suggestion for what you should do depends on how comfortable you are with a little white lie to your mom. I would take the ring to be "Cleaned" at a jeweler and then call your mom. Say,
"Mom, I have some bad news, and I need your advice. I took the ring you gave me to the jeweler today to be cleaned and he said that the prongs are loose and the band is thin. He thinks it has to do with the age of the ring. He thinks that it isn't safe in the current setting. I love it so much, and I don't want anything to happen to the stone! He said I <span style="text-decoration: underline;">must reset it or I will lose the stone one day soon. I'm thinking of resetting it (in a white gold band/in a halo setting/in an east west setting/etc.) I just wanted your opinion on what you think!"
The key here is to not give her an option for it not to be reset. Make it seem like there is NO WAY you can keep the current setting! Its just too dangerous!
This does happen, by the way. I had to have my grandmothers wedding band reset because the band got too thin and it wasn't safe.
I wonder if a channel setting would work? I like the little white lie tho. This is yours for ever now, you should have a choice and you should be able to love it.
Can you look up reviews on yelp.com where you live to find a jeweler? I'm sorry your mother wouldn't be happy if you changed the setting... but I think EJS is right, it's *your* ring now, not a loaner. Eventually she would have to accept that it's your ring and you can change it as you see fit. Good luck -
I also agree that your mom should back off a bit about keeping it the same. You don't like it, plain and simple. And you have to wear it for the rest of your life and she doesn't. I really like the suggestion of the east/west marquis setting...it looks very unique.
In a strange twist: I was talking to my FH last night on the phone (inspired by all your nice and helpful suggestions here), and he admitted that he ALSO does not want me to change a thing about my engagement ring. He was quite firm about it.
Well, I guess I have to learn to love it.
weird, whats your fiancees reasoning for not wanting you to change it?
I am sorry you are going through all this. I will say my sister had the same ring but smaller to yours and all she had was a thick gold plain band. It sat flushed so I must not be seeing something that is different from yours.
HOWEVER, I understand your MOM gave it to you, but once again it is not a loaner and needs to be made for YOU! You do not like this ring, I can tell and you should love your ring!! I know you are trying so hard to be nice, but be honest with yourself. It is a beautiful ring, but everyone has different taste. You should be estatic when you look down at it! You deserve that! I 100% do not agree with your FI. He did not pay for the ring, it is NOT his mothers ring, so what is his issue with not changing the setting?! He should want you to be happy and want something you would want to wear forever!
Well said, MissGreen. Whats the update on the ring? I'm sad to see that you seem resigned to keeping a ring you don't like. Did you make any progress with your mom or your FI?
Perhaps you can search for a jeweler that does repair in house? You might have better luck working with someone like that.
Thanks for the suggestion mountain girl.
No update on the ring. I realized I COULD put my foot down and change the setting and no one would be able to say much, but the money for our rings is being given to us as a gift and I wouldn't feel comfortable asking his dear father for more money so I could change the setting on my whim.
I have been going to jeweler after jeweler (kind of depressing) and trying on rings, but all of them bump up against the stone and create a gap. I have to keep trying though, because every damn jeweler I go to doesn't even have enough bands of my size to try on - I am always having to guess what it'll fit like. ;/
another idea is to deal for now, and hold out for a change later. My grandma tells the story about how she always wanted a super thick band like HER grandma had but my grandpa got her a thin setting. So she kept it for a few years and then started telling my grandpa every year when he asked what she wanted for christmas "a thick setting for my e-ring." It took 14 years, but he did it after finally getting the response "I've been telling you what I want for 14 years and you don't listen so now I'm not going to tell you anymore" haha. Hopefully your guy wouldn't make you wait THAT long... but a cute story nonetheless :)
If you are looking for a white gold setting, you can have the yellow gold dipped in rhodium to give it the white gold appearance. You aren't changing the setting, just the color!
My e-ring is a custom setting 6 prong round brilliant, and believe it or not, I had a hard time finding a band that fit somewhat under the prong and wouldn't wear against it. After 1 month of wearing the rings together, I already saw wear on the bottom prong. I had the rings soldered together and I LOVE it (them)!! No more wearing against eachother, and the band stays perfectly centered with my e-ring (it has 7 small diamonds on it as well - it's actually an anniverary band).
As for finding a band that works with it, I went to the mall since there are so many jewelry stores it gave me a huge selection, and I tried on SO many...ONE fit well, that was it! The local jeweler that designed my e-ring said he could do a custom band, but I was afraid because I didn't want the v-shape either!
Hope that helps!
This is a ring that you will be wearing for the rest of your natural life. If you REALLY don't like it then you may need to stand firm. I vote for having the diamond reset. Your FI should be worried about making sure your ring is something you love...and besides...gold can be melted and reshaped into anything. Therefore...youc an use the same band to make the new one so nothing gets lost.
brilliantearth.com will make custom rings http://www.brilliantearth.com/custom-engagement-rings/ I'm not sure how it would work to design one to be flush with your band since it's online, but they really have some nice rings. I was browsing their custom gallery and some of those rings are just AMAZING. I wish mine were custom like that... (don't tell hubby!) Is there any particular reason you don't like the marquise diamond? I personally love them (though I've never tried one on), and that's what I used to want for a ring. Mine's just a simple round diamond. Want to trade?? hehe jk. I love mine for what it represents and for the memory of the wonderful day I got engaged. It's not what I would have picked out for myself (actually, it was on the mental-list of what I DIDN'T want tbh), but the sentiment behind it is so strong, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Granted, I dont HATE how it looks though. I would suggest going with the white lie. Tell FI AND FMIL lol
another thing
Would something like these work? http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-ring-platinum_9717 http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-eternity-ring-platinum_7793
The prong might kind of look like they fit together if it can kind of nestle into that space. That's what I ended up doing personally. I had a hard time finding a band to go with my 6 prong round diamond and even curved bands didn't really work. It was actually worse lol So, I got a ring like this one http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-eternity-ring_7303 They don't sit PERFECTLY flush, but because of the way the ring is designed, it doesn't look like it's supposed to and it goes together really well. I didn't even really like the band at first and looked over it a million times until one afternoon. It helped that brilliant earth had a picture of what the ring looks like on an actual hand. I absolutely LOVE how they go together, and even like it without my e-ring.
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Maybe it's because I'm very stressed at work, but i'm starting to get really anxious about my wedding band.
I haven't been able to find a wedding band that would fit next to my engagement ring, let alone be something I like.
I got an heirloom engagement ring, which I've talked about before, that I can't change the setting on. My mother would be destroyed if I changed the setting to a color gold that I prefer or to a different type of ring.
It's a knife-edged yellow gold ring, with a marquise diamond in it. I have no idea how large the diamond is. I went to a jeweler to try to find a very simple band that would fit against it and they didn't have anything! I was a little annoyed that the jeweler didn't have things in very many sizes, so I couldn't try them on very properly. (Is that the case with most jewelers? Is everything a special order?)
So, I have to turn to the Bees, because I'm at my wits end. I look online and I look, and I see things I like, but I don't think they'll sit against this marquise setting - and the curved or v shaped rings that are meant for these situations are super ugly, in my opinion.
The pictures are the ring, and a strange one from the side so you can see how far it edges forward. I like simple, engraved bands and although white gold is all I wear, this band has to have some amount of yellow otherwise the engagement ring won't match.
I need help! What the hell can I possibly do with such a strange diamond shape? It's pissing me off!!! I feel like crying.
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