(Closed) Can’t get my fiance to book the honeymoon already!

posted 8 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 3
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Oh my gosh… My FI is the same way. He’s a slow mover & no amount of fireworks will get him to go- but only when it comes to things he deems “unimportant”. He’s a secretary kind of guy… hates all paperwork related things. He lives in the US (3000 miles from me!), I live in Canada & we’ve been together almost 4 years… he’s known for the last 3 that there are new passport laws coming into effect & that he needs one to visit me. Well, he JUST had his passport appointment today. Ugh! I’m driving 2 hours south to Seattle this weekend because he’s flying to Seattle b/c he can’t get into Canada.

If you find a way to motivate yours to get things done, let me know please!

Post # 4
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

give him a deadline. that’s the best way honestly.

Post # 5
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

Frankky, the deadline is your wedding day.  I say let it go…maybe it’ll be a cool surprise and it will show him you trust him.

Post # 6
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

So frustrating! Boys definitely do procrastinate…I think it’s still a little too far away to do much more than smile sweetly and ask him if he’s decided where you guys will be *celebrating* your marriage…that might get him moving! 🙂 

Post # 7
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Ugh thats a really hard situation! On one hand, i’d say that you should just let it go and do his thing… just trust he’ll do it right. On the other hand, if he DOESN’T do it right… your honeymoon is kind of a big gamble and you don’t want to be miffed at him during it.

Personally, I’m kind of a control freak and I’d want to just get the cc# and do it myself. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I am in the same boat. My fiance has more room on his credit card so it is his job to book the honeymoon. He hasn’t done it yet and we are getting married in two months!! He is usually all about saving money, but it is like he doesn’t understand that the closer you get to the date, the more expensive the trip will be. 

Maybe you could give him an itinerary for a few destinations (flights, hotels, activites, everything) and have him pick from them. Then when he is ready he can just use the itinerary and book it!

Post # 9
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I initially delegated full honeymoon planning responsibilities to my husband.  We both decided where we wanted to go together and then it was his job to book flights, rooms, plan excursions, etc.  I too felt that he wasn’t booking anything so in order to get him moving I just kept bringing it up, not in a nagging way, but as a fun discussion such as “Didn’t Jim & Sue go to Hawaii for their honeymoon? Where did they stay?” 

I didn’t think that I would have time to plan the honeymoon and the wedding at the same time, but we ended up doing the honeymoon planning together.  He did most of the work – finding where to stay and booking it, booking the flights etc and I helped by booking dinners, spa appointments and excursions.  It was a more enjoyable process by taking the team approach. 

Post # 10
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Would money motivate him? We booked early to save money… because the closer to your wedding you book, the more you will end up spending!

But honestly, I would just sit down and explain that you know he operates differently than you but you are so excited about your honeymoon and it is beginning to stress you out that he has done any booking yet. Ask if he can set a deadline for himself so you can relax and not worry that it will get overlooked.

Post # 11
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I don’t want to be a debbie downer, but my advice is not to expect people to act contrary to their natures. Your fiance is a procrastinator, so why should booking the honeymoon get done in advance? 

I think scheduling and the importance thereof are things that you need to discuss in general in your relationship—the honeymoon is just an example, you know? 

I agree with everyone’s advice about setting a deadline and emphasizing that it’s important to you that it be done by X date. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee

Mine booked ours less than two months out…it wasn’t the airline I would’ve picked (booked up), wasn’t the resort I would’ve picked (booked up), nothing scheduled when we got there…and it turned out to be so much better than any honeymoon I would have planned…was perfect.  Relax and trust him do his thing.  He may either feel a little overwhelmed by the pressure of planning a great honeymoon for you, or he would just be perfectly happy being anywhere with you that he doesn’t feel a sense of urgency about the details.

If it’s really stressing you, you could always foward him “hint hint” fare sales.  Give it another month and you can have the “what’s going on, isn’t this important to you?” talk.   

 

Post # 14
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Congrats!! I had to book the honeymoon myself – on top of all the wedding planning. My FI just doesn’t plan…for anything : )

Post # 15
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Have fun in Fiji!

tvilase, it was the same for me. I planned the wedding and booked the honeymoon, but I wasn’t expecting him to book the honeymoon to begin with, because of his crazy work schedule.

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