Can't get time off for sister's wedding

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ilovelipstick:  Your family is being silly. You can get there for the wedding itself, so what’s the problem? It’s unreasonable of them to expect you to be there for a multi-day celebration.

Post # 4
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@aussiemum1248:  +1 this whole wedding before earning a living baffles me. Unless your lastname is Trump, or if you have  trust fund or a family business to fall back on, the rest of us peons gotta work. You are making an effort to be there for the  main event, everthing else is extra and unnecessary IMO.

Post # 5
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That’s such a hard situation! Any flexibility for a January wedding date? Any chance you can trade a coworker so that you work all your days in a row with none off and have one day off at the “end” of one week and the next week’s day off at the “beginning” of that week? I’ve missed many a wedding and baby shower, so I completely empathize. People will have to appreciate that you’re making a big show of support by flying there on your only day off and playing MOH to your sister (a big and exhausting job at family weddings) just to go back to work the next day.

Post # 8
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If I was your sister, I would change the month to November or January. Problem solved. 

Post # 11
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Ilovelipstick:  One of my best friends planned her wedding date, in part, so that I could stand up for her. It’s not unheard of…still sucks though!!!

Post # 12
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Ilovelipstick:  Ahh I see. Would your mom be willing to foot their flights for the holidays if she switches the date to either November or January. I mean, if she is so adamant about you being there, which I understand, but if finances are an issue, which, again, is understandable, see if she can help her daughter out? Do you think she would go for it? 

Post # 15
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

I’d try to talk your sister into changing the month to November or January. You can give her many reasons such as:

– it may be easier for other people to attend becuase they may also have more flexibility in vacation days and will have fewer committments (people are generally very very busy in december with work parties, family stuff, etc).

– If you can take, say a week or two off work you can get there early and help her prepare a few days ahead of time and it will be less stressful for her

– She might be able to get a better price in January possibly as (I think?) it’s low season

– and that you really want to be there for her and this is the best way you can do that.

Post # 16
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Is there any actual reason your sister NEEDS to be married in December? If not, surely she could choose a date in late November or early January. Then everyone’s happy. 

If not though, yeah it sucks, but ITS YOUR JOB. One you actually like, plenty of people don’t have jobs, let alone one they like, and it needs to come first. 

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