can't go to the chapel, still gonna get married.

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center

Okay, so my opinion is probably not what you want to hear…that said, here it is. I think you should let their pastor do your ceremony. The ceremony is going to last maybe 15 minutes at best, and to have to look for a whole new venue just so your cousin can officiate the ceremony seems silly – to me, at least. I understand you want him to be a part of your day, so I suggest having him read a poem or letter to you guys…something like that. A legitimate pastor/officiant knows exactly how a ceremony is supposed to flow, from the vows to the rings, etc. You never know how a cousin (no matter how confident, funny, nice, outgoing, etc.) is going to officiate the wedding.

That said, you seem pretty set on finding another venue. I think you’re going to have trouble booking something 5 months out, but it’s not impossible. I would look into (I don’t know you’re location) nearby museums, hotels, golf clubs, or art galleries if you’re really set on not using the church’s pastor.

Post # 4
Member
6747 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, if you want offbeat- we got married above a bar by my Aunt, who is an ordained minister.  We had been out scouting venues, and didn’t find any we liked.  I said to (then)FI, lets stop at XYZ bar and have a drink before we go home.  I remembered I had been to a birthday party in their upper party room a couple years before and we made some inquiries…. and there you go.  We had our friends and fmaily suround us while my Aunt did the ceremony and then had passed appetizers and cocktails (full bar) and cupcakes.  Total- $4000 for 85 people. 

Post # 6
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center

 

TheWagners1112:  No problem! I think that’s the other issue with it being a small town and you having a pretty big guest list, is that I’m not sure you’re going to be able to find something that can both accomodate your guest list AND be indoors! I don’t think finding something outdoors would be an issue…and you’re right – a house near the lake/mountains would be pretty! If you were willing to compromise and have it outdoors, maybe you could find enough land to put up pretty white tents with a lakeview…I guess you just have to look at your options! Good luck! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
5016 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

TheWagners1112:  Would you be open to having the pastor officially marry you but have your cousin speak also? Maybe he could discuss you as a couple and the pastor could do that actual officiating? That way you wont have to look for a new space.

I am glad that you cousin has some experience… I went to a wedding where the father of the groom officiated and it was AWFUL. So uncomfortable and the bride giggled the whole time because he effed it up so badly. He actually started reading the vows they were supposed to read to them! Poor guy….

Where are you having your reception? Do they have an on location ceremony site?

Post # 8
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Why can’t the cousin be a co-officiant?  I know a few of my friends have done this in churches. 

Post # 10
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

There are some places around here that are historic old mansions that people can get married in. We got married in a public park. We could have gotten married in the reception hall, but I DID want an outdoor wedding (btw nobody couldn’t hear the officiant, and everyone had sunglasses :P). Depending on where you are there are always cool things like old theaters or historic buildings or whatever. Even a big restaurant. Heck, my university not only has a chapel, but they have a bunch of buildings for rent too. 

Post # 12
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

TheWagners1112:  If your thing is in August, and you’re having an OUTSIDE reception (which, kudos, cuz it’s so damn humid here I’d never subject people to that ever), what’s 15 more minutes, honestly? Get some cute tiki torches or flower petals and an arch or something, and just do it in a shady spot. And then walk your ass over to that pool. It beats having to drive from one place to another and wasting time doing that. We had our ceremony in a gazebo and it was like 15-20 minutes tops, and then we just walked on over to the reception hall (A=actually we did pictures, but everyone else went to the reception hall and started slamming the scotch/wine/beer/vodka/etc). Everyone only had to park once, and it was only a couple minute walk from the gazebo to the hall, through some really pretty gardens. Nobody minded.

Post # 13
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

TheWagners1112:  Could the pastor marry you but your cousin do a long “reading” that would make it feel more personal and like they were in charge of the ceremony? They wouldn’t be an official officiant, but it would be something. 

Finding a large venue last minute is tricky.

Post # 15
Member
1499 posts
Bumble bee

Yay! I am glad it all worked out. We had a ceremony mixup too and it turned out really weel-I know the feeling of relief!

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors