Can't I just enjoy being a newlywed?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@HVbride:  Not crazy at all. Just ignore them and go at your own pace!

Congrats!!!

Post # 4
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Why does everybody ask that?

Is it because they don’t have anything else to say so they assume that’s just what you ask someone that just got married?  I’m guessing it’s just a conversation filler because aside from your immediate family?  Who really gives a shit if you have kids or not?  Nobody.

 

 

Post # 5
Hostess
30313 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@HVbride:  Dude, I TOTALLY know what you mean! We are almost 2 years married now, and we’ve finally learned how to deal with all the questions.  But man alive, not everyone gets married and instantly wants kids! EEsh. 😀

Post # 6
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee

@HVbride:  people were asking my BFF AT the wedding when they were going to have a baby..really?  Tell them to mind their own business!

Post # 7
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I hate to break it to you but it only gets worse the longer you’ve been married and don’t pop out any babies. We’ve been married for 13 months and those who don’t know our situation keep asking when we’re planning to have kids. Super frustrating for me because in our case, it just isn’t going to be a simple as going off the pill.

just ignore them and try not to let it get to you.  Congratulations and enjoy married life!

Post # 8
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Just had this convo with a friend the other day. Now that we are older (27) and have friends ttc – we can’t believe how rude people are asking about babies. Some of our friends are having/have had a REALLY difficult time – and it’s such a personal question.

I know when we decide to have kids, it’s most likely going to be hard since I have PCOS. I cant imagine how hard it is for some couples who have difficulty conceiving to be bombarded with that question.

Also, congrats!!

Post # 9
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@HVbride:  We got married on the same insanely hot day! 😛 

I get that question so much I’m ready to pop the next person that asks in the nose! haha 

Just ignore I guess for now is my tactic. 

Post # 10
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think the people asking you need to just breathe!  You’ve been married 2 weeks, barely had enough time to adjust to the feeling of wearing a new ring on your hand!  You and you’re new husband (congrats by the way) should absolutely take some time to just enjoy being a married couple before you jump into babies.

Post # 11
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We weren’t even married yet, and some friends of my parents cornered us at a party to let us know how important it is that we “give [my] parents grandchildren” and that’s it’s so sad that my mom is the only one in their group of friends not to have one. My mom just sat there looking pathetic. I should not that I haven’t seen these people in years and that it was the first time they were meeting my then-FI. SMH. 

Post # 12
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

I would be inclined to make them feel bad for asking such a personal question by saying “what makes you so sure we are actually able to have kids?” People need to learn to stop asking that questions because people have can have many personal and some painful reasons why they might not be able to have kids.  I just don’t get why people ask it; I never would in fear of discovering they miscarried or they cannot conceive.

Post # 13
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Our really good friends had a baby last month, and from the time they found out she was pregnant they were telling us we should have kids. It wasn’t so bad until hubby decided AT our wedding that he was ready for kids, too! The three of them are ganging up on me! Haha

Post # 14
Member
287 posts
Helper bee

@HVbride:  It seems like there’s neverending questions.

When you’re not engaged, it’s “When are you getting engaged?”
When you’re newly engaged, it’s “When are you getting married?”
When you’re newly wed, it’s “When are you having kids?”

I hope that they start to leave you alone, and let you enjoy your life as newly weds.

Post # 15
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I get this more from my in-laws than my family. I suspect it’s conversation filler because they have no clue what else to talk to me about  – the go-to before we were married was, “When are you two going to get married?” What a pleasant knife they liked to twist. Now, babies.

I generally just answer, “There are enough babies in the family, and I’m going to be really busy taking care of my nephew,” as my SIL is returning to work and…I work from home. -_-‘

Or I burst into laughter and say nothing about it. My husband’s grandparents seem to be catching on that I’m not willing to discuss it, or maybe their minds are turning and they’re thinking, “Maybe something’s wrong and they can’t, so we should stop bringing it up.”

The moment you discuss plans with people in that regard, at all, you feed into it. It depends on the people asking, though. My in-laws seem to be getting the hint.

My family’s very focused on the impending birth of my nephew.

My in-laws just had their first grandchild late last year, so they’re still enamored.

It’s the perfect storm to be ignored.

 

Post # 16
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

tell them to kindly shut it.

were they asking before? if not, consider yourself lucky. my FMIL has been asking since the day my FI and i got together. she’s been asking him for years and years, even when he was single. next time she asks, i’m gonna ask her if she’s gonna pay for it, and if she’s gonna give us somewhere to live.

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