Post # 1
We just found out last week that Future Sister-In-Law is pregnant (yay!) and her due date is the week of our wedding (not so yay). The wedding is at my parents house which is 1,000 miles from where Fiance and I and Future Sister-In-Law, Future Brother-In-Law, Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law live. This means that of course Future Sister-In-Law and Future Brother-In-Law won’t be at the wedding, but it also means that FI’s parents will have to choose between being at the birth of their first grandchild or be at their only son’s wedding. So, everyone agreed that the wedding needed to be cancelled. Future Sister-In-Law however, does not know as Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t want to tell her and make her feel bad. The problem is the rescheduling.
Make it earlier at my parents house – weather is unpredictable and the local school graduations and reunions fill up the town for a few weeks in may and june
Make it later at my parents house – it would have to be pushed back to September or later. Fiance and I DO NOT want to postpone it that long. We want to buy a house in Sept/Oct and start trying for babies in the summer. This is the option that everyone else likes
Move it to FI’s hometown – I have had no luck finding a venue I like that has any open dates in our time frame. Fiance and I also don’t really want to get married here.
Cancel the wedding and just have a small cermony and dinner with our families – This is the option Fiance and I want. We save money and we can get married earlier. Our families however, do not like this idea. Future Mother-In-Law says it would make her and Future Sister-In-Law guilty and my mom (who did this exact thing when she and my dad married) is disappointed by this.
I really don’t know what to do. I hate making people unhappy. The option that makes Fiance and I most happy makes others mad. It’s a happy situation that Future Sister-In-Law is having a baby, but it sucks for me. Plus, I’ve planned and cancelled a wedding before (broke up with ex FI), planned and cancelled this wedding, I don’t have the emotional or physical energy to plan another one! Any advice would be great. I’m crying a lot. And again, I couldn’t be happier for FI’s family. I”m so excited to have a niece or nephew and I’m not upset at anyone or bitter about anything.
Post # 3
Do what makes YOU happy. It is still your wedding, and it isn’t being cancelled or postponed through any fault of your own. Everyone else should just deal with it.
Post # 4
Thanks, That’s what I’m trying to do. Future Mother-In-Law was crying and telling me I’d regret it and she’d feel too bad if we didn’t have a big wedding. My mom was super supportive at first saying, she’ll support us in whatever we decide to do. When I told her what we wanted, she got really pissed at me. It’s hard because Fiance and I are both really close to our parents. I talk to my mom every day. We were both so excited about everything that we had planned for the wedding, I know it breaks her heart.
Post # 5
@nhoh: I didn’t mean to make it sound like it’s your FSIL’s fault for getting pregnant, I totally realized that’s how it sounded, lol.
I think if you sit them down and explain what you really want and why, it will be easier for everyone to handle. People are going to feel guilty, regardless, it’s just a matter of how much.
Post # 6
@reine_de_rien:Totally agree. Do what makes you and Fiance happy, OP. The change wasn’t your choice, but you should be able to decide what happens next. Others will just have to deal and learn to be supportive. *hugs* Hope that your new plans go well for you two!
Post # 7
Cancel the wedding and just have a small cermony and dinner with our families – This is the option Fiance and I want.
Go for this option then, definitely. It’s great that you want to be accomodating, but they can’t ask you to cancel their weddings and then ask you to try and juggle all their other terms and wants. This is about you guys and what you want, it wasn’t your idea to cancel the wedding. I’d go for the small ceremony option, and saving money is never a bad thing.
Post # 8
I think you have to do what makes you happy, but I wouldn’t make any big decisions for a couple of weeks because you’re probably too emotional right now.
As someone who is postponing their wedding an entire year, I get where you’re coming from. It sucks.. really bad. FI and I could have done our own thing and gotten what we wanted, but it just wasn’t worth all of the hurt feelings. MY family having fun and enjoying this whole process MAKES us happy. It took me a while to get over my hurt feelings, but I’m at a good place right now and I know we made the right decision for us. Deep down I know I want my huge wedding with my entire extended family there.
So, my advise is to wait a couple weeks and think about what you and your fiance really want. Once you’ve decided, let everyone know and they’ll all just have to deal with it.