Post # 1
Alrighty, Bees, I’ve got a dilemma and would like your feedback.
My mom’s got a ring she said she could give to me when SO proposes. It’s a half carat family stone my mom reset into a delicate bypass bezel setting. I think the stone’s an OEC. I love the ring, but it’s maybe a 1/4 or 1/2 size too tight, and and don’t know if resizing would make the gold too thin. Nevertheless, it DOES fit alright by itself; a band might make it too snug. I love the practicality, simplicity, and size and the solitaire, plus the non-snaggy bezel. I’ve also read that OECs are prone to chipping, and I like that the stone’s protected. It’s a really dainty ring. I’ve shown the ring to SO, and he thinks the stone’s pretty but the setting’s ugly.
On the other hand, I LOVE moissanite. I mean seriously am lusting after it. I’m ridiculously excited about a 6 or 6.5 mm Amora gem. Given that nobody knows when it’ll be released, I also don’t want to wait too long for it. And, I’m seriously, seriously, in love with this setting http://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/pave/-Platinum-Pave-Set-Diam-Engagement-Ring.html I think it’s so gorgeous. An amora in this setting is my dream ring. SO likes it, too.
I’m nervous about resetting the family diamond; the current setting would have to be destroyed. I think I’d feel guilty, too, as my mom designed it, and the stone would be less secure in the halo. Soooo, I’m wondering what I should choose. I’m seriously torn! I love both so much! Would it be too greedy to ask for the first ring for now and a 2nd ring when the amora comes out? However, the first ring would be free, I could rotate rings depending on mood, and on a relative scale, I’m not asking for a terribly expensive ering. Or should I reset the diamond in the dream setting? I feel materialistic for wanting both, so I’d like to hear from you ladies! Ah, first world problems.
Post # 3
@abirdword: Lol, first world problems, indeed! I know I seen threads about upgrading/place holder rings before. I’ll give you my honest opinion: I really love the idea of knowing the ring he gives me will be the ring I have always. There is something wonderfully romantic in that. That being said, you need to think about how you view the emotional side of it. Will you regret not having your mom’s ring down the road? Will Mom regret you opting to upgrade your ring with a style you picked out yourself? It’s great to hear SO is onboard seemingly no matter what you do. Either way, make sure you update us and include LOTS of pictures! 🙂
Post # 4
Can you get the family ring and just wear it on another finger? You may not need to resize it now, but you may have to resize it in the future anyway. This way you don’t ruin your mom’s original design. As far as waiting for the Amora goes, that is a judgment call. What is more important to you? Being engaged or receiving the Amora. If you’re in no rush, wait. If you are, don’t.
Post # 5
I say get the ring you would be most happy with, whether that be settling for the family heirloom or a big sparkly Amora. I believe you only get engaged once so choose something your really pleased with 🙂
Post # 6
@Papillon23: Those are all good points. I can honestly say, knowing myself, I’d wear both rings quite a bit. I am quite aware, too, of the fact that it’s totally unnecessary to have two. Which is why I’m having so much difficulty deciding what to do.
Post # 7
Just FYI, you CAN have the family ring resized in its current setting. If there isn’t enough metal on the shank to take it up a quarter or helf size, your jeweler will cut the shank off and put on a new half shank to reinforce the ring and make it like new. I just wanted to let you know in case that influences your decision at all.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I got a family ring, and I thought before I got it that maybe I’d want us to reset it at some point, but now that I have it, I don’t want to change a thing.
Post # 9
@2ndtime: I’d rather be engaged sooner than later.
@tonights: Thanks for letting me know that!
Post # 10
Flip a coin. I’m not even kidding. If you find you’re somewhat disappointed with the result, that’s your signal to choose the other.
Post # 11
I would go with your dream ring (assuming it is in your budget). This is a ring that you plan to wear for a LONG time so I’d want to make sure you love it.
That doesn’t mean you can’t still have and wear your family ring though – there are 9 other fingers! 🙂
Post # 12
since the family diamond is smaller than your 6mm dream ring, I vote that you should wait for that amora. if you have the diamond reset into your dream setting, you might think it’s too small and regret it. people experience major diamond shrinkage after they get their rings, so if you have the opportunity to go bigger, then do it!
Post # 13
Reset the diamond in your dream setting, all the way! I LOVE OEC’s! Antique cut diamonds are so romantic. You can always get the Amora as a right hand ring, and you’ll have double the bling.
But for an ering, there’s just something so special about this inherited diamond, and it would be something great to keep in the family.
Go custom on the setting, and have fun with it.
Post # 14
Thank you so much for the feedback thusfar, ladies! I’m still waffling, but all of you are raising some really good points that I’m considering.
Idk if this will help, but here is a picture of a similarly sized stone as the heirloom in the setting I like:
Here’s the same setting with a stone the same size as the Amora:
I think they both look great! Given how it looks, and your ladies’ votes, I’d say my biggest indecision is between the resetting or keeping it in the current setting and then getting the amora in this setting. My considering Amora in the first place has more to do with the hearts & arrows cut + sparkle factor + fear of damaging heirloom rather than size.
I think I should add, too, that my mom only designed the setting of the current ring 10 years ago or so. The diamond was originally in a men’s ring (great grandfather’s) my grandma gave to my mom because she felt bad my mom didn’t have an ering. My parents have since divorced, and since my mom resized the current ring those are her reasons for not wearing it.
Post # 15
@starla: Your argument’s making me lean towards that option!
Post # 16
I did not vote because I have another opinion!!! I would get the setting you love and get a different stone now, moissanite is at a great price point where you won’t be kicking yourself if you get the amora later. I say leave the family stone as is, since there would be a lot of changes being made to it, since you will be switching it I say leave it as is. Also, another family member might want it the way it is, still holding the sentimental value of keeping it intact. 🙂