(Closed) Can't seem to figure out a wedding date and it's really upsetting me.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ZebraPrintMe: How close to your sisters wedding is too close exactly? And how much are your parents willing to contribute? Would you be willing to go without that money to have the wedding in the season you want?

Regardless, it will be important to take a serious, detailed look at your budget. Start with the house and identify how much you need to save in order to feel comfortable. Then see what’s left for the wedding. Figure out how long all this savings would take (both with and without a contribution from your parents) and then you have some real options for a wedding date. It seems like you’re getting upset prematurely!

And while we all have dreams of special wedding, don’t forget that it doesn’t have to cost a lot. You could do something simple and affordable like a backyard reception and have it almost whenever you want!

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d just have it summe 2015 and your sister can work around it. We have three family weddings between June-September next summer, many family traveling but it’s never been an issue. I don’t see a problem just pick a date you want. 

Post # 6
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i think who ever send save the dates out first wins— so pick a date in summer and tell your sister you are not waiting for her to start figuring out what she wants…. how long she been engage?  my cousin just got enage over the weekend(saturday the 22) and has her date and location booked…(way more ontop of the wedding plan game then i ever was …)

Post # 8
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ZebraPrintMe:  Personally, I’d forgo my parents contribution and get married exactly when I wanted to. You aren’t stealing your sister’s thunder by getting married in the same season. Every couple gets 1 wedding day. As far as making sure your parents aren’t stressed, you can decide how involved you’d like them to be in planning. My parents weren’t involved in our planning process at all. We made all the decisions ourselves and they were able to just enjoy the day.

Post # 9
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

@ZebraPrintMe:  I don’t get it.  You got engaged first.  You chose summer 2015 first.  Why does your sister think she can swoop in and steal your date??  I’d stick with your original choice and when your sister complains, say “Sorry but we got engaged first and chose this date.  You can’t steal it out from under us.  I’m sure you’ll be just as happy with another date in late 2015.”

Post # 10
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@ZebraPrintMe:  You know, you can please some of the people, some of the time, but you can’t please everyone, all the time…this sounds really frustrating AND just a little juvenile…not on your part, but on the parts of the people that keep trying to tell you that this event needs to be planned around THEIR needs…which is absurd. 

I would put all of their demands and requirements out of my mind, and pick a date that worked for my FI and I, and just let the chips fall where they may.

Post # 13
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ZebraPrintMe:  could you get married closer to granddad so he doesnt have to travel so far two times

Post # 14
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ZebraPrintMe:  Understandable.

Because our wedding involved a 1/2 day plane trip and overnight stay, not all of our friends and relatives (and none of our living grandparents) could attend. We could have chosen to have our wedding in a location that was closer to them, but we wanted to have our wedding in the city we live in, to reduce our stress in planning. It just made us even more grateful for those who could be there and celebrate with us. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to consider what you and your FH want FIRST. (And if it turns out that you DO need that contribution from your parents, their preference for the date should hold significant weight.) While it was sad that we couldn’t have every single person we invited attend, we have no regrets and cherish our wedding day memories. 

ETA: A Practical Wedding was enormously helpful to me when handling wedding dilemmas like this: http://apracticalwedding.com/2011/01/ask-team-practical-wedding-dates/

http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/01/you-guys/

Post # 15
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

This may sound strange but it is better than a credit card debt == could you get married in 2014 and ask your parents that along with the contribution they promised they could also give you a loan that you would pay off within a set number of months? (maybe by your sister’s wedding?) In reality, the dates you are laying out are not too far apart and you sound only a few months off from having the right amount of money

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