Post # 1
I am frustrated… mostly with myself for being so indecisive. FI has basically said that he is ok with anything that I want to do and he doesn’t have an opinion so its up to me to decide what we are doing. We got engaged in October and we still have NO plans. Here’s the deal:
We started looking for a house and were thinking we’d be moving some time in late spring/early summer… although as it turns out we found a place super fast and we’re moving at the end of Jan. My brother is getting married in Aug and FI’s mom is getting married in Oct. Because this year is so busy and because we need to save some money, we thought we’d do a winter wonderland type theme in Jan 2011 because that is far enough away from the other weddings and gives us some time to save money.
Then FI’s family wasn’t thrilled about the prospect of a winter wedding in Ohio and really I agree because travel CAN be precarious and the worst possible thing would be his mom or sister not being able to be at our wedding. So winter is out. Now our options are to push it up to November (thus doing it RIGHT after FI’s mom’s wedding) or push it back until probably May 2011 or later (April in Ohio has been known to snow).
I’m okay-ish about pushing it back but this just throws my whole winter wonderland theme out the window. I would LOVE to do an outdoor wedding (as would FI… this is the only thing he has a strong opinion about), but we live in OHIO lol. The weather is so unpredictable here that I just don’t get how anyone plans an outdoor wedding without essentially planning two individual weddings (indoor and outdoor) because its 50/50 that the weather will cooperate at any given time.
Ugh. I guess I”m just frustrated. I feel like I’m just floating and I can’t figure out what we’re doing or when. I know that once we pick a date and a place everything will be so much easier. Maybe the problem is that I was never one of those girls who dreamed about their wedding day? I have no idea what my dream wedding is (except one in which I end up married). I’m not even sure I care.
Did anyone else have months and months of uncertainty? Please tell me it will all work out in the end!
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!
I know it’s frustrating right now, but keep on trucking. I’m crazy-indecisive about so many things right now, and our wedding is in June! I think it’s pretty normal to feel how you’re feeling. Being immersed in wedding world can make one feel like the only one NOT totally decided on every single detail, but I promise you, you’re not alone!
Easier said than done, but breathe, take a step back, and I swear it’ll all work out. Just takes a little wiggling. 🙂
Post # 4
I’m totally with the Snipster on this one – breathe, take a step back and give yourself some time to wrap your brain around your wedding. You’ve been engaged for two months and you’re buying a house – do a happy dance and be proud of yourself! You are accomplishing huge things at an astonishing rate.
I think we all are here because we love weddings and sometimes that love can drive us straight over the edge. We see so many gorgeous weddings here and do so much research and find so many amazing details that it can quickly become overwhelming.
I don’t know about everyone else but I have been refining and tweaking my vision for about six months now – and I’m still a little over a year out from our wedding!
Post # 5
you have practical things to do and think about this month – there is no harm in putting wedding thoughts out of your head for 30 more days. You don’t have to follow anyone else’s timeline but your own. And if you’re rushing and busting your a$$ to hash out plans now, you’re not going to have any fun, just stress, and probably second guess your decisions. But when you do start to have free time again, think about how you want to feel that day. And start from there – you may want a winter theme, but what about that theme appeals to you? You may be able to adapt. Good luck, and remember that if you’re not having fun planning, you’re probably doing it wrong 😉 I would do the whole thing again! (though not right away, heh). If you get the FEELING right, then you won’t second guess so much and you can just check things off the list when the time comes.
Post # 6
I know how to feel. I’m sure that you will figure something out. My husband didn’t have opinions either. I initially wanted a winter wonderland theme too but I didn’t want to wait that long and Colorado weather would be unpredictable more than Ohio I think!
Wait until you have moved into the new place and then you can think about wedding planning things. Maybe some time off from wedding thinking will give you some clarity about it.
Post # 7
yes PS: tell FH to get an opinion. On something. You don’t want to put all your effort in planning and have some random thing come up that he doesn’t like and flip about it. I would do this, so that’s why i mention.
Post # 8
You can do this, Corgi! One step at a time, deal with your house, then your wedding. You have a good amount of time to work with. I hear your pain about the weather, I live in the midwest too. However, the only thing you’re taking a chance on is whether the ceremony is indoors or outdoors…. it’s not like you have to plan two weddings- just pick a space that has indoor and outdoor choices.
You might want to look on the bright side of your FI not having opinions- one less person to please! *Hugs*
Post # 9
I agree with the others, prepare for your move, settle into your new house (ek! how exciting), send out “We Moved!” postcards and plan an open house so everyone can come visit you and your FI in your new home.
By the time all is done, it will be mid-spring, you will have had a few months to think about when you want to get married and planning a wedding a year away won’t feel so far away! Don’t stress it… just enjoy your time making your new house a home 🙂
Post # 10
Congrats on the recent engagement and the new house! As for the rest, take a break. I spent a while freaking out that i didn’t have everything 100% planned and ready to go (with less then a year to the wedding) and all I got was an ulcer from the stress. You have plenty of time to plan and decide! If I were you, I’d aim for a late May wedding at a venue that has an amazing outdoor space, but also lets you have access to the inside. Or, a venue with HUGE windows and beautiful views (we found this at a park pavilion over looking the lake for cheap when I had my heart set on an outdoor wedding!). And what about the winter wonderland theme calls to you? The romance? The color scheme? The freezing cold, thus a need for cute accessories like sweaters, coats, etc? A winter color scheme can EASILY be used any time of year- blue, silver, red, gold, etc. all make great wedding colors no matter what. The romance can be achieved any time too. Search “romantic wedding(s)” on google images and you’ll see what i mean!
Post # 11
We got engaged in June and set a date in late November. We were initially planning for July 2011, then April 2011, then March 2011, and now booked for September 2010! I am totally with you on the date frustration, because we had so many conflicts to work around!
I think a winter wonderland theme could be cute, but it doesn’t sound like you’re married to it (you also wrote that you both would love an outside wedding). So I think pushing the wedding back is fine. I think you do want to make sure that both immediate families are fine with the date no matter how frustrating that may be. You want them to attend and to have the time to be excited with you and support you through the process. With both families planning for 2010 weddings, 2011 sounds like the best option. You could find a venue that has indoor and outdoor spaces and plan for an outdoor ceremony in May or June.
Post # 12
Thank you all so much! As with so many things…. this all seems less daunting by day (the day my FI comes home finally from an 11 day trip!) than it did last night when I was up late and lonely heh.
I have kind of been taking your advice about taking a break for the last month or so. Since we started house hunting the week before Thanksgiving, I have done nothing for the wedding (other than come to WB and comment on other ppl’s weddings heh). I think what freaked me out was going home for Christmas and having a thousand people ask me when and where we are doing it and having to admit that I’ve been engaged over two months and I have no freakin’ clue what we’re doing 🙂
@melissabegins– lol. I don’t really mind that FI doesn’t have that many opinions. He isn’t disinterested… just more like “I’ll be happy with anything you do as long as we end up married.” The only thing that he has expressed an opinion about really is budget and that he’d like it to be either outdoors or in a place with big windows and a pretty view of outdoors.
Re: the winter wonderland theme- I think that I like this theme so much for a few reasons. First, because I love snow, I love that frosted look everything gets. I was picturing a cake covered in crystalized sugar, tons of silver, lots of low candles, I wanted it to look like it was snowing inside and basically have everything shimmer. Plus I thought I could get away with not having flowers at the reception at all much easier in Winter because winter is not about flowers, its about snow! Also because not a lot of people do winter. All the weddings in my family are summer/fall and I was excited to do something different.
I think you are all right and I do need to settle back into just chilling on this for a month or two. I really hate the idea of a 2 year engagement because I feel like it prioritizes the wedding over the marriage (like I’m willing to put off being married so i can have the perfect “day” or something)…. but maybe I just need to get over it and embrace the time to plan? Certainly I need my FI to be home now and a big glass of wine. heh. (cross your fingers his flight doesn’t get canceled due to snow tonight!! eek!)