(Closed) Can’t sleep, too upset

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

sun cancer is a real threat and the band guy was irresponsible but without knowing all the facts (ie, maybe all the kids were playing up/giving him grief/being pita’s)  i wouldnt go tear him a new one yet but def would have a quite word with him or his supervisor and remind them of their duty of care to their students health 

 

Post # 4
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow!  I can’t believe they did that to her!  I might write a letter to high school principal.  I think that’s the only way a stern warning would be passed on to the point where the band leader starts taking things like that seriously.

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d be upset, too, but honestly, she probably should have put sunscreen on before and during her “allowed” breaks.

I went to a really strict sports camp during the summers, and we weren’t allowed to drink water until a break or anything like that, either, during training…outside, California sun all day 5 days a week. It’s part of being disciplined and while it’s annoying and makes you angry, with high school kids, it’s usually best if you don’t let them all do stuff when they want to. Honestly, it’d probably end up with some students going to put on “sunscreen” when they want a break and are tired.

I don’t think mentioning it to the principal is out of line at all, though. Just say that you’re concerned for her skin, etc, and that if it happens again you’ll be formally complaining.

In the meantime, the instructor may be harsher on your sister, knowing she said something and her sister came down to give him a talking to.

Make sure she slathers up with some sport 70 next time

Post # 6
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I definitely understand your concern for your sister and her well-being.  With the risk of skin cancer being very real, it is so important to put sunscreen on, especially when one is being exposed over a long period of time, like your sister at band practice.I totally understand you wanting to fight for your sister, but if it were me, I probably wouldn’t.

While it does seem unfair that the instructor wouldn’t let your sister stop to take a break to put on sunscreen, I wonder if ejs4y8 is right–she probably should have put it on before practice or during the official breaks.  As a teacher, you know how hard it is to get that many HS kids to pay attention for an extended period of time.  In that situation, it would be impossible to allow everyone to stop whenever they wanted–you’d never get anything done.  You have to institute some sort of procedure in order to prevent kids from abusing the system.  Not that your sister would, but I’m sure there are plenty of kids would use their breaks to text, rest, etc. 

I was in marching band in college and we were outside 12 hours a day during our Band Week.  They gave us scheduled breaks, but we were not allowed to stop during the middle of rehearsal unless it was an emergency.  It’s a self-discipline thing and you have to be prepared.  That means putting on sunscreen before practice, bringing a hat if you think that’s not going to be enough sun coverage and using your breaks more efficiently. 

Your concerns are valid and I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I think this is the reality of the situation.  At this point, I think the best thing your sister can do is chalk this up to a lesson learned–not everyone is going to be as accomodating as you’d like, so you have to learn to adjust and adapt. 

Post # 7
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with ejs, your sister should have put on sunscreen before practice started.  It’s not fair to make everyone stop practicing for her to run to the sideline to do something she should have done earlier. 

I also went to a lot of sports camps and part of what they teach you is to be responsible for yourself.  Your sister is in High School, she knew she was going to be out in the sun and that she should apply sunscreen before practice. 

If I were you I wouldn’t talk to the principal without talking to your sister first.  She might not want you to.

Post # 8
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m actuallly suprised some of you said that you weren’t allowed to take a break oustide of the scheduled ones. I was a highschool athlete and our coaches always let us get drinks whether it was a scheduled one or not. Dehydration, or in Futuremrstal’s sister’s case, sun burn and the like can be serious. Only the individual can “know” their body. I do realize that some people will take advantage of this leniency, but I had a teacher that treated her students based on the idea  that “I’d rather be wronged, than do wrong.” And we always had much more respect for her and most would never take advantage of her kindness. There are kids that will goof off, but do you really want to be the person that causes a kid to get sun burn/poisioning or become dehydrated because you wouldn’t let them take a two minute break? And I can’t help but think, its BAND camp…practice really. Someone’s health matters more, regardless of the circumstances.

I wouldn’t say anything, but I do think your sister or mom are fully justified if they do.

Post # 9
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I know how bad it is to be sunburned. And when I’m in the sun, I reapply every 2-3 hours.

I would want to speak to the band director, but I’d suggest you talk with your sister to get the whole story. If you don’t, the band director will probably be happy to tell you. Maybe they had taken a break 15 minutes ago, or one was coming up when she asked to stop. It’s so hard for me to think back to high school when we had to ask permission to step out of a class for the restroom, etc.

In either case, though, I think she should have been allowed to step aside. Even if they just had a break and she forgot because she was chatting with friends, it’s what HS kids do. They’re not adults yet and shouldn’t be held to the same standards. She should be allowed to stop to take care of herself as soon as she realizes there is a problem.

Post # 10
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Maybe in the future she could keep some sunscreen wipes in her pocket and just swipe them across her face whenever her hands get a free moment.

I do agree that this was a little unreasonable on the instructors part. If you feel very strongly about it, consider writing a letter to the school board/school principal.

Post # 11
Member
244 posts
Helper bee

i agree with everyone that it’s about discipline…  and in high school, they always make the rules so it’s easier for everyone.  i know i got so annoyed when we got held up for things they could’ve done before practice.  it’s a 6 hour band camp and i’m sure they got a break for lunch.  she had time to put on sunscreen before it started and during lunch… which is still every 3 hours if that’s how often she needs it.

anyway, before talking to whomever… talk to your sister first.  she might not want you to talk to the band leader or maybe your mom exagerated the story. 

Post # 12
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

But I think you guys are missing the point…how does the punishment fit the risk? Surely she should have planned ahead, but still…

I went to the skin cancer foundation website and it states that one blistering burn or five sun burns at any age DOUBLES your risk for melanoma. 1 in 58 women develop melanoma over the course of their lives and 1 in 5 people develop skin cancer during their lives. And while melanoma is more rare in terms of skin cancers it is much more deadly. Furthermore you are supposed to reapply sunscreen fairly frequently. You can’t just put it on once or even twice for an entire day in the sun.

Reprimanding her for not using her break and being disciplined in her actions would have been appropriate, but the health risk is very real and scary.

Post # 13
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

As an ex high school teacher and now a manager of student employees at a university, I have to agree with the posters who say it was the student’s responsibility to put on sunscreen before practice and during any scheduled breaks.  I get that it’s a health risk, but she knew her schedule well ahead of time.  I think too often, young people try to meet their needs on their  schedule.  Umm…that’s not how the real world works.  I battle with this every single day of work.

NOW…that being said, I think a calm, reasonable conversation can be had with the director about how badly she ended up being burned.  Just explain that you understand the rules and discipline exist for a very good reason, in the future, you’d appreciate that he/she be more considerate next time the situation arises.  And, ask that the director be the responsible adult and help to remind her to put the sunscreen on before practice begins.

Post # 14
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

This is an interesting topic.  I’ll say I have to agree with EJS, that she should have put the sunscreen on beforehand.  If camp started at 9am, did it state, “please get here by 9am so you can put on your sunscreen.  Then  we’ll start at 9:15am.”?  (Unlikely).  If it started at 9am, it most likely meant be ready to go at 9am.  Although I will say that it would be nice if the instructor let it be known in some handouts beforehand, that he/she expects sunscreen to be applied before practice, along with other specifications (ie bringing snacks, water bottles, taking breaks, using cell phones etc.)

If we condemn the instructor, do we have to arrrest her mom for child endangerment.  I think the parents should be more responsible for that, than the instructor.  If the sister was allowed to stop to put her sunscreen on, then it could turn to chaos.  Everyone would want to stop for something.  And they would use this precendence as an example.  If there was some big misunderstanding or she’s being singled out, in which others were allowed to put on sunscreen, but not her, then it’s a different story.

And ultimately, to answer your question on what you should do, I say nothing.  You aren’t the parent/guardian.  It’s not your fight.  They really don’t have to deal with you.  If your mom wants to address it, fine.  So what if they see her as a drama mama?  She’s a big girl.  Sometimes you have to take some lumps/get a little embarrassed/ for your kids.  But I agree with talking about it with your sister, first.  Then follow up with your mother, if you feel strongly. 

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