Post # 1
ahhhh! This wedding planning is putting me on a emotional rollercoaster! Thank God for this site!! Anywho ladies…..
So me and my best friend use to be together every moment of everyday. We started being that way about 6 years ago. Well she has always been very over weight and never could find a guy worthy of her time. Ive always thought she had the prettiest face and wished men saw her for what she was….or what I thought she was.
She never had really good relationships. Her last one ended horribly and I dont know why she was ever in it for so long. Well after about 2 years of mine and my Fiance relationship, we found out we were having a baby. Unexpected? ABSOLUTELY! But at the same time we felt more blessed then anything. After she found out I was prego she really ditched me. She never called, would go out with all of our friends and exclude me and would just really hurt my feelings. I never knew why she did that. Well I had my son 2 hrs away from our home due to complications and on the day he was born she drove down to the hospital to surprise me before his birth. I felt like I had by best friend back…..yeah right. After he was born, the excluding resumed.
About a year later when I would talk to her she would tell me about the lasted guy that she had met on the internet or where ever she could catch him. They would last about a month then something would happen. Well this past june at the beginning of her current relationship she had Gastric Bypass surgery. Honestly I thought it was totally uncalled for and was a desperate plea for find a guy that would stay with her. Any guy. She even stopped breathing on the operating table twice. Even though I didnt agree I supported her but was so scared for her at the same time.
About 6 months later she found out shes pregnant with her boyfriend of about 7 months and they are getting married next month. I told her a baby changed EVERYTHING and you really need to know your spouse through and through to raise a child with them….let alone know them for at least a year before getting married! She doesnt really care. She just knows shes getting married and having a baby. Alot of her family are my friends on Facebook and all I hear on there is how excited they are that shes getting married and having a baby. Its so annoying because its like “doesnt ANYONE see theres no morals in this situation?!?!?!?!” I already pulled out of being in her wedding and she is not in mine. We are alright with eachother but dont talk that much. I honestly dont even want to go to her wedding. But I know she would be ticked if I didnt. And why should I support her pregnancy when she ditched me during mine?? ahhh this all just bugs me so much!!!!!
Post # 3
It seems like she is jealous of you and making bad choices based on that. Clearly she has tried to meet guys for what sounds like a long time, but hasn’t had success with finding the right one. I think most people tend to get excited about weddings and babies without thinking whether it’s a good long-term choice for the woman or not. Especially on Facebook – if they had anything negative to say they probably wouldn’t say it publicly on a social networking site!
I can completely see your frustration, but I don’t know if I have great advice. You seem to be frustrated with this girl and not inclined to put in a lot of effort to make her “see the light.” Even if you did, I’m not sure that you could change her mind. Maybe distancing yourself is the best thing you can do.
Post # 4
First of all, I completely agree that a baby is not a good reason to get married. Since she has made up her mind, though, there isn’t much you can do about it. My BFF got pregnant after 5 months of knowing a guy, and I told her off the bat that I didn’t think it was a good idea for them to get married. You know what, though? They did get married, and my choice was to either support her or lose her as a friend. Just because I didn’t agree with her decision doesn’t mean I didn’t support her as a person. I put my two cents in, and she did what she wanted.
Your friend will do what she wants, and since she’s already made the decision to get married and have a baby, then I think your only option is to support her. If you’ve totally drifted apart, then you don’t need to go out of your way for her, but she’s going to follow through on her decision, so your options are to support her or not really be friends anymore.
Trust me, I know how much it sucks, I really do. But the best thing you can do is support your friend and vent your frustrations elsewhere. Like here. 🙂
Post # 5
Sorry to hear your going through this at what should be such a happy time for you. It seems like she is wrapped up in herself and doesn’t know how to be happy for someone else. I think all you can do is wish her well. I don’t think you necessarily have to be by her side supporting her (its not as if she did that for you) you should really just take a back seat to this girl and let someone else deal with her drama!
Post # 6
I third the idea that a baby is not a good enough reason to get MARRIED. But I also think that people are entitled to making their own life decisions. You can express concern but ultimately just be there for her. Two wrongs don’t make a right, you know? Although I don’t think she’s making these decisions just based on you, I do agree w/ Girlwitharing that people won’t usually say anything too mean on facebook. Maybe they just want a wedding invite, lol. In any case you have every right to be frustrated. Some marriages are okay at less than a year, but add the baby as the reason for getting married and it makes it even harder.. 🙁
Post # 7
Hopefully your friend will appreciate you even more after the baby gets here, and she might feel like a jerk for not being there for you…although I wanted to say that a lot of times when people haven’t gone through something themselves, they don’t really know how to support others in those same events and that could be why… Good luck!