Post # 1
I got married on June 23rd. My husband and I haven’t set anything concrete but we were talking about TTC in 2 years (I am only 23 and he is 34). We aren’t in any rush though. Before the wedding I noticed I had some pretty intense baby fever. I figured it would go away but it hasn’t and now I am at the point where I am literally dreaming every night about babies. The dreams vary, I am either pregnant, or in labor, or I find a baby that someone has abandoned and adopt it. The dreams are getting way more vivid and intense. What do I do? It is going to be a long 2 years if I don’t find a way to stop having these dreams. Is my subconscious saying something to me? Do I want to be a mom more urgently than I thought initially. Sure there are things I want to do before kids but nothing really huge. Everyone says we shuld take time to travel together and see the world. Haaa, do they realize we just had a 10 grand wedding….we can’t afford to travel nor will we be able to anytime in the next two years. So if we aren’t going to travel what should we do (what should I do in the meantime to keep my mind off of babies)? Should I even be trying to fight these feelings? Anyone else have to really fight the urge to be a mommy until they felt they were ready? Any other bees plagued by vivid baby dreams?
Post # 3
Plagued by baby dreams yes. There were two weeks were I’d have these awful dreams that I had a baby and abandoned it or put it in my pocket and killed it.
A few nights ago I had a dream that I got pregnant and then enagaged to FI but the baby was Eminem’s and I had passed the 3 month mark. FI knew (because in the dream we had broken up for a bit) and Eminem knew too and apoligized to me publically. And it meshed in reality like oh no did I kill it by drinking. (Yea really weird.)
I am not ready to be a mom in any way shape or from and when I have these dreams I have woken up, crying, screaming, or running to pee on a stick. So reccurring baby dreams may have nothing to do with mommyhood and are just something else entirely (like your married so your dreaming about the next step sort of thing.)
Post # 4
Ha. Good to know thank you. Yeah I only get upset like that in the ones where I am afraid for the baby or it is in danger. Otherwise, I guess the dreams make me kind of happy. While I am really not looking forward to being a mom this young, technically speaking if it happened unexpectedly tomorrow, I would still be thrilled.
Post # 5
Have you talked to your husband about any of this? It might be worth considering having a discussion about moving your timeline for babies up if that’s what you think you really want to do, but honestly it sounds like you’re feeling like you’re not quite ready yet. I’m a firm believer in the “where there’s a will there’s a way” school of thought, and I’m sure you’d be a great mom if you had a baby now, but if you think the smart thing to do is wait then you should probably wait. 😉 Especially after how much money you guys recently spent on the wedding. lol
I agree with Mrs Christopher though, you could just be dreaming about the “next phase in life” aspect now that you’ve gotten the wedding done. It could be that your mind was so occupied with wedding stuff for so long it forgot how to relax so now it’s plagueing you with baby dreams too lol Honestly, there could be lots of reasons for these dreams. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Keep your mind occupied with other things, maybe start a new hobby. Try not to do anything too exciting or think about babies right before you go to bed. (Although if you’re anything like me telling yourself not to think about it will surely make you think about it more lol sorry about that one). Also, (this is TMI btw) when we have amazing, crazy, out of the ordinary, mind blowing sex I tend to dream about babies more. I know it sounds crazy, but that could be it too. See if you notice a pattern. It took me a while to figure it out but it’s definately there for me. lol Maybe there’s a different pattern for you? It might help if you keep a journal for a little while, then it will be easier to notice if there is any kind of pattern for you. If it’s mind blowing sex that’s doing it then totally just deal with the dreams like I do though, there’s no way in hell I’d give them up now hehehe
Also try to remind yourself that even though you would love to be a mommy, there’s plenty of time for that. Once you start having babies and the day to day stuff that comes with being a mom starts to take it’s toll you’ll start to fantasize about exotic vacations, or possibly even something as simple as being able to take an hour long shower undisturbed lol So take some time now to enjoy being young and in love with less responsibility. Being a mom is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever done, but it makes it a lot harder to do some things. Give yourself and your husband plenty of time to do the stuff you want to do that gets harder with kids. I know you feel like you can’t afford it right now, but if traveling is something you want to do, try to save some vacation time and money to be able to do that before you start having kids. It’s not impossible to travel with kids (and really it’s a lot of fun) but it’s also more expensive and requires a lot more planning. There’s also a lot less possibility of sex at noon in a luxurious hotel room. When you’re traveling with kids it’s much more likely you’ll be having sex late at night (after kids are sleeping) on scratchy Motel 6 sheets. lmao
Kids are great, but you’ve got plenty of time to just enjoy being young and having a great time as newlyweds before you start adding to the family. The more you do for yourselves now, the more you’ll enjoy being a mom when the time comes. I know you don’t really need convincing, but maybe if you hear things like this (or tell yourself things like this) enough then you’ll convince your subconcious to stop giving you these dreams lol I can’t really think of any more suggestions, sorry. It might just go away with time though, try not to stress too much about it. 🙂
ETA: Are you sure you’re not pregnant already? I had these types of dreams nightly for a couple weeks before finding out I was pregnant.
Post # 6
I definitely think it’s just on your mind. It’s pretty well proven that your subconcious tries to work itself out at night (it’s a healing process of sorts.)
I used to have dreams about my awful ex all of the time. Sometimes he was stalking me, threatening to kill me/ assaulting me, other times I was seducing him, and other times he was crying and I was comforting him. I think the last ones that I remember were of him crying and telling me that he was sorry for treating me so badly. It took about two years to stop having those dreams, which coincidentally is about how long it took for him to quit trying to find me, that I am aware of. I feel that that situation is pretty much resolved in my mind now.. I don’t feel any burst of emotion when I think about it anymore.
Nowadays my dreams pretty much revolve around my FI (who is currently 800 miles away trying to relocate us) and for the first time I am actually having sexual dreams about the man that I am with! I never thought that that would happen! Lol maybe it’s just me.
I’m pretty sure I am going to be the same way after the wedding. I am already starting to notice my eyes wandering to baby things when I get weary of researching wedding related things. My FI mentioned today that he has baby fever too, no doubt more than me, since he is 6 years older but I want to travel, too! At least the honeymoon and one good trip to Europe before we start that mess 😉
Post # 7
@RobotBabooshka: I would talk to your DH about it. I have baby fever too and we are TTC. Just because at one time you thought you wanted them at a specific time doesnt mean you cant change the timescale with your husband. I had baby fever for the 2 years before we got married, it was hell as we knew we needed to wait until after the wedding. I feel your pain!!!
Post # 8
sigh…i can relate as i have baby fever BAD! While we were engaged we decided we’d wait 6 months after the wedding to TTC, after the wedding we revisited the topic because I immediately started having baby thoughts, even he admits to wanting a baby and ironically has had several baby dreams (i havent), but we decided after paying off the wedding and trying to save up to buy a car, the best thing we can do is wait a year until we get everything in order. We’ve been married less then 3 months and i can tell you its going to be a lonnnnng year lol
it also doesnt help that my 9 yr old son has been pestering for a sibling because he feels lonely and is the only kid in his class with no brother or sister. one day while we were walking home he says to me ”so, when are you guys giving me a brother or sister? i cant be waiting forever!” i was floored he’s so good with his baby cousins, he’s going to make a great big brother
good luck RobotBabooshka. as another bee pointed out, you guys might feel differently as time passes, definitely dont feel like you cant revisit the topic before the 2 year mark, but for the time being enjoy just the two of you.
Post # 9
Thanks for all the advice. So glad to hear it isn’t just me. Yeah, I can be good and patient. Because I want to be the best mom possible to my kids so I should spend some time on myself to do that.
@AllTheGoodUsernamesAreTaken: I really appreciate your feedback. It probably does have a lot to do with the void left after wedding planning. My mind was constantly occupied with stupid details about the day and now there is an emptiness in my head that babies have filled because it is the next logical step. But we really are having fun just being young and in love. And as far as the sex pattern goes, you may have a serious point there. Hate to brag but the sex between hubby and I is always pretty much mind blowing (honeymoon stage you know lol). That might be making me think of kids. Doesn’t help that all my girlfriends at work are having babies. My sister in law is in labor as I write this and my cousin/MOH just had hers. I will take up some new hobbies and throw myself into old ones. It may help.
I have sort of this silly theory that my mind has always been older/more mature than my body. I know this sounds odd but I spent my entire childhood being told that I was very mature for my age. My mom kept all the notes from every parent teacher conference she ever went to and they all have “mature” written all over them. Some of my teachers were concerned that I didn’t act enough like a kid and I took everything so seriously. I still feel that way. All my friends my age are still looking to just party, travel, and have one night stands. I want to be a mommy. What is that about?
I am also under the impression that I may have matured physically a little too soon. I started my period when I was 11, just a couple months after my sister who is 2 years older than me. I think that sort of screwed with me a little by off setting what are most peoples child bearing years. I started my biological clock a little early and now my body is screaming at me to get pregnant. Almost like my body is starting to sense that it has been doing this too long with no results. I am a pre med student and have noticed in my studies that woman start wanting children with greater intensity when they have been menstruating for roughly a decade. Its like a signal goes off then and you can no longer walk past racks of baby clothes without thinking of your own fertility.
Oh and I am not pregnant so that isn’t what caused the dreams. Started my period the day I posted this! lol.
Post # 10
Sounds like you are ready to start sooner than 2 years! What about a compromise and say start in 1 year?