- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2009
So I have three BMs – my best friend (the MOH), another close friend, and FSIL.
Through this whole planning process, there was some drama around my bridal shower, namely a “kerfuffle” between MOH and FSIL. It wasn’t a great situation at the time and I was pretty bummed out that my shower was causing so much tension between my girls. Things ended up going more how FSIL wanted and I was kind of figuring it was all water under the bridge. But now I’m not so sure.
FSIL and I used to get along great. We’d e-mail back and forth all the time and she’d say how much she loved me and how excited she was that her brother was with me. Since around the shower, though, she doesn’t really chat with me anymore. When all that was happening, I thought we had “cleared the air” about the situation, but now I’m starting to feel like she’s holding a grudge.
I’m letting the BMs pick their own LBDs to wear in the wedding, and MOH and the other BM have been e-mailing to the whole group, sending pictures of the dresses they were considering and just having fun chit-chat. FSIL, however, hasn’t taken part in any of it, even though she’s been on all the messages. She’s sent her dress photos (and other responses to group messages) directly to me, but not to the group. It’s pretty much like she’s decided to “check out” from all the wedding discussion with the others.
I’ve told FI that I really think she doesn’t like me much anymore. FI said that he and his brother have in the past talked about how FSIL can be “weird” sometimes and how you have to watch what you say to her because you never know what’s going to make her mad. Plus, she won’t let you know she’s mad, she’ll just give you the silent treatment. It’s a shame, because I never would’ve guessed that she would do that.
I don’t really think I can do much about this situation. The other BMs have tried to reach out to her, but she refuses to get involved. I’m just afraid that when we’re doing our pre-wedding stuff together (lunch, nail and hair appointments, etc.), she’s going to act sullen the entire time, and then I’m going to feel guilty, or like I have to make an extra effort to make her feel “included” in everything, which is really not what I want to do — especially because I feel like she’s the one who kind of needs to grow up.
Who knows, I could be pleasantly surprised. I just wish everyone would be nice to each other!