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It's hard to let it go when people continue to make new threads talking about it....
Plus, as "unpleasant" as these threads sometimes get, they point out kinks in the system that bother people, or that hadn't been brought to light before. As the forum evolves, so do the rules, users and experience. So no, I'm glad people don't just let it go.
@KatyElle: That's was my intention of this thread. To ask people to let it go. Not to spark a new fight. This one can be read and not added to as well. Then it too will fade away.
I have no problem ignoring the mean posts. I think a lot of the posts that are started having to do with drama an made to stir stuff up are just trolls and I ignor them. But when the posts are left up and not closed or deleted when they violate the TOS and there are double standards for posts/posters...that is what I have issues with and when I choose to speak up. For me the poster was not the issue it was how it was NOT being handled that was the issue.
In a word, no. Clearly the board is going through PMS. This will all die down eventually. Until then, let's just focus on the good stuff here, and not the dramaz threads.
@luvmyDwight: I get your point, but if it makes you feel any better, the Bee that restarted the year-old post did apologize for doing so in that thread as she didn't see that it had started so long ago.
@luvmyDwight: Not everyone comes here looking for the same experience. Some people want to talk about dresses and don't really care too much about day to day operation. Other people have invested a lot of time into this board and have made friends, planned events, recapped their weddings, went on to have babies and buy homes. When the ugly stuff is brought to the surface those who feel invested talk about it and often see change as a result. So just because some people find is annoying or just want to let it go doesn't mean everyone feels that way. Users make the site, if there is repeated behavior that is making people uncomfortable, it will and should be addressed.
@pinkb: agreed, that is the real issue.
OP, this thread certainly doesn't seem to jive with your "let it go" mentality since it just prolongs the conversation. if you don't like the conversation happening, you don't have to be a part of it. but, as long as it's not against TOS, we can keep talking about it. simply stated, i say leave the moderation to the mods - these kinds of "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!??!" posts never turn out well.
@luvmyDwight: As a community we need to discuss these things. Sweeping them under the rug doesn't do anyone any good. In a week, a month, a year down the road there is going to be something else that causes the same amount of outrage. If we can come together as a community and agree on a way to deal with these issues now (i.e. by putting some better rules in place), maybe we can avoid the future ones.
I think what OP is saying is next time someone posts something nasty, don't draw it out! Period. Just flag it and move on to another thread. Don't feed into it. You see over 100 ppl adding to a post that needs to be left alone.
@lovekiss: "Clearly the board is going through PMS." Love it.
@KatyElle: My thoughts exactly.
I logged on and saw about four posts about the same thing. Sorry, it's now overplayed.
Please, do let out your frustrations and opinions, but why can't we all stick to one thread? Is it to be seen/read only then hope for comments?
I'm not trying to be mean. Just my thoughts.
ETA: This is not just towards today's situation. I've seen it happen plenty of times when certain members were banned.
@Carolyn72: the thing is, the thread was not drawn out by a bunch of back and forth or anything like that, not sure if either of you saw it before it was finally deleted or not which might be part of the confusion. there were only 14 posts on it before the comments became a call for the mods to delete it - there weren't even that many posts on it which makes me think that most people just flagged it and bit their tongue. the post violated TOS and was allowed to remain up for 11 hours. 3 hours after it was posted, someone from the Mod team moderated a commenter's post but not the initial, inflammatory, rules-violating post and that's why people are pissed. i myself flagged the OP and moved on. then the trolls came out and started insulting everyone which is when it blew up. neither of these issues (OP & troll) were addressed until after the Mods took care of deleting a post by a REAL, PRODUCTIVE member of our community who was sick of the rules being applied in an unfair way.
i do agree with and abide by a flag & ignore mentality but this particular situation and the ensuing discussion goes beyond the contents of the post.
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There is one currently being added too and it was started a year ago! Seriously? Let it die already.
I have been both too skinny and overweight. At 42, 5'7 and 191 pounds I have been told I was fat and the next day told I don't qualify for plus size :/
I have had best friends that have been obese all their lives and my FI definitely falls into the category of obese.
I for one never judge someone on looks. I do however judge by what's on their insides.
There are so many places including message boards that hurtful things are said. It's not the first time people have been hurt by words nor will it be the last.
That being said can't we just flag the mean posts and ignore them? Adding fuel to the fire just keeps the thread alive.
I know the threads hurt but once you read the title or figure out the subject why not flag and move on. Even if the mods do nothing about it it will die because it is not being added to. Some mean posters love the fact that they are making ppl feel bad.
I guess I'm just thinking of what my mom used to always say. Ignore them and they will eventually stop or go away. Yes it hurts but we all all adults now and have "been there done that"
I hope I not creating a new "fight" with this post as that is certainly not my intention. *peace*