Care package for miscarrying friend

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

FutureMrsT1221:  This is difficult, as I think it depends on the person. Personally, when I’ve been through a difficult or traumatic experience the only thing I want is space. I hate fuss, and people asking how I am constantly, etc. Whereas other people are different and want to talk about it. 

So for me I think it depends. I wouldn’t make too much of a fuss, dinner sounds good and maybe you could suggest watching her favourite film or something too? Or get her something like her favourite chocolates or bath products so she can have some ‘me time’? 

Post # 3
Member
7271 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Hmm that’s tough. I think dinner might be enough.

Post # 4
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

A friend of mine had an ectopic pregnancy and had to have an emergency surgery where they had to remove the pregnancy. It helped for her to talk about it, but everyone is different. I don’t live near her, so I had flowers and chocolates delivered (she loves chocolate!). If I were closer, I am sure she would have LOVED dinner- you are a good anf thoughtful friend!

Post # 5
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yeah I agree with PP, the last thing I would want would be people making a big deal of it. I’d just stick with the dinner. 

Post # 7
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

FutureMrsT1221:  oh it’s so hard!! I understand completely. Well, having been there and done that, I will say that space is always welcomed, but if you guys are tight then popping over just to say you love her would be very nice. Don’t expect to stay if it isn’t offered. 

What are some things that she likes to snack on? Maybe a nice warm blanket she can snuggle with? I know I was an absolute couch potato for days. Wine…. Maybe. I was devastated, so when I finally had a glass of wine after going weeks without it made me cry, but every woman is different. Clean pajamas or something comfy she can change into; a fancy shampoo or soap when she finally works up the nerve to shower and come out from hiding; flowers to remind her of something beautiful to look at- keep in simple and sweet. Right now, I bet she’s all about the simple creature comforts.

You are very sweet

Post # 8
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

FutureMrsT1221:  Obviously you know your friend best, but a brainless novel (depending on her tastes, a romance novel, or a YA novel, etc.) could be good. Or a brainless movie if she’s not much of a reader. You’re a lovely friend <3

Post # 9
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think dinner and bright, cheerful flowers, or a plant may be enought

Post # 10
Member
7271 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wouldn’t get her wine. It will probably just remind her that she’s not pregnant anymore, so it’s okay for her to drink it now.

Post # 13
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

A friend of mine suffered a miscarriage a few years back, and we don’t live near each other at all.  I sent a package to her with several items, each with a sticky note.  I inculded a stuffed teddy bear (and a sticky note that said “snuggle”), a box of tissues (the note said “cry”), lavendar bubble bath (the note said “relax”), a fancy chocolate bar (the note said “indulge”), and I did send a bottle of wine as well (pretty sure the note said something like ‘if all else fails, get boozy’ or something).  I think that’s everything but it’s been a while so I’m not sure I even remember each item.  Anyway, she really did appreciate the thought, and it even gave her a little bit of a laugh.

 

 

Post # 14
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I totally wish my friends had made a big deal out of my miscarriage. Flowers or a funny DVD would have meant the world to me. OP, I’d bring whatever you’d normally bring to a friend who is recovering from surgery or just had a loss – a bar of nice chocolate, some flowers, a gift certificate for take out, cozy socks…. something like that. You’re so sweet for taking such good care of your friend – I’m sure she will really appreciate your thoughtfulness and love. 

Post # 15
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I brought a friend of mine in a similar situation ice cream (so she could eat her feelings) and a new pair of PJs. 

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