Post # 1
is it better to have a career change before marriage or after?my new DH has always worked a job.now that were married he wants a career change and go back to school but financially it wil take a tole on me.really hope i dont regret backing him up on this.should i have waited to marry to see how we would be off financially for the future?
Post # 3
@rozzy: Well depends on the situation really. You didn’t give any info so I will say it’s better after, because presumably you have your hubby’s income and insurance to rely on if a) it doesn’t work out or b) you quit your job before finding another.
Post # 4
Not really sure why it would matter either way….? Before marriage – your bf or Fi supports your decision. After marriage, the same person… except now he’s called your husband… supports your decision. What exactly would change that would make a big difference?
Post # 5
@pinkshoes: I agree other than, as a PP pointed out, after marriage the spouse making the career change and going back to school can be on the other person’s insurance and such. Can’t typically do that pre-marriage.
Post # 6
it doesn’t make a difference, you’re still the same person with the same talents.
Post # 7
Well I made a career change after marriage but we had already made the decision before we got married,it just came into effect after we actually got married!It was difficult, I went back to school, and it meant we could only rely on DHs income so it means we have lived paycheck to paycheck for two years. Im also looking at going into teaching in my field and this would mean a further four years of school, although this would be part time and it is a neccessary that I also work during this time too.
Where there is a will there is a way!
Post # 8
should i have waited to marry to see how we would be off financially for the future?
Unless you’re saying you wouldn’t not have married him pending a bad outcome of career change, then I dont think it makes a difference. If there was no doubt you were going to marry him, at the end of the day, any of his financial hardship acquired during his ‘single’ days, ends up affecting you either way.
Post # 9
@Mrs.KMM: That makes sense now .. .there was no explaination earlier other than the question. OP must have edited with more info.
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@rozzy: How will marriage affect his ability to get financial aid? That would be my primary concern for him deciding to go back to school.
Post # 11
@rozzy: Unless his financial situation would’ve changed your decision to marry him, then there’s no change to doing a career change before or after marriage.
My DH is looking for a career change right now. Thankfully, the schooling bit is out of the way, at least, but it means that we can’t really “settle” into a house or even a 12 month lease while he looks. I’m actually kind of glad that we got married now instead of waiting until he lands his new job first; not sure I’d be willing to drop & move everything every 6 months or so for a live-in boyfriend.
Post # 12
ahh..well, ideally, before but life happens. I got laid off from my job in my career of 7 years just about a year before marriage (we were engaged, planning, etc) and I had a choice of accepting a position for another company (there were offers) or gong back to school and since I dreaded the thought of remaining in the profession I was in for years to come…I decided the latter. I went back to school before the wedding and I am finishing up this summer, just after our first anniversarry…and hopefully will get a job as a nurse shortly therafter.
It hasn’t been easy but my husband has been very supportie through it all, he’s worked two jobs while I am full time in school, at clinicals and working as a waitress on the weekends. We are still very happily married and the light at the end of hte tunnel is nearing.
Post # 13
Post # 14
I personally would feel more comfortable making a career change after getting married because it is easier on the legal side of things for your spouse to be recognized as your “provider” during the transition, than it is for a domestic partner. Not saying you can’t do it without being married, but it does make it easier when explaining to insurance companies or any other companies in charge of your personal information (banks, bills, etc) A career change already has many caveats to it, and the last thing I would want to worry about on top of that would be proving to anyone why my significant other, who I’m not married to, should be allowed to see my personal information.
But I do agree with others, that it shouldn’t matter. You’re either willing to support them or you’re not. If you’re not willing to do it before you get married, then chances are you aren’t willing to do it after either.
Post # 15
@rozzy: When I was married before, my ex was not finished with his undergraduate degree, so he was in school most of our time together. The man took FOURTEEN YEARS to get his degree – in recreation. I called him a “professional man of leisure” all the time. I pretty much did everything related to the home, but he was just a huge slacker on so many levels – so maybe that is not a good example!
That also led me to date only men that were done with school after this experience!
Then I went back to school for a Master’s. I got divorced early on in that time frame too. Then I met my husband later on. I really really really wanted to be done with school before he and I moved on to the next step. So we continued to date, but live separately until I was all done with my classes. I was so busy with working FT and school, that I really don’t think I could have given 100% of myself to this new live-in relationship until I had school off my plate.
But that’s just me. I have the opportunity to go back for a PhD, but I do not want to. I enjoy having my life back; I want to enjoy my new marriage without school! That took 5 years of my life I’ll never get back!
Is your H the kind that can manage stress well? Does he manage his time well? Can he still be a good partner and roommate while doing school?
Post # 16
@sienna76: oh yes definitley.but in our case wen have a busy busy 5 yr old daughter who requires our attention.so that will be our struggle