- 4 years ago
So, I’ve got a question for all of you regarding the familiar struggle between love and career. Here’s my situation: I have been with my SO for five years now. We have been living together for over half of that. Our relationship is AMAZING, like nothing I have ever experienced…being with him feels so natural, and we are always supportive of the other’s wants and needs.
Recently, my SO took a job several hours away. I encouraged this because it is a HUGE step in his career path (and, frankly, the pay raise was way too much to turn down). We have been making it work long-distance for several months now. While it’s not a HUGE deal (we visit each other often), it still really, really sucks. His job is very demanding, very long hours, and while he has many new friends, he misses being together at night to hang out together, cook together, etc. I feel the same – no amount of hanging out with my girlfriends can fill this “hole” that I feel in the pit of my stomach. My daily life just feels so empty without him in it.
Despite this, I am being supportive. This job has finally made it financially possible for us to really start thinking about getting married, which we now talk about on a daily basis.
My question is this:
Basically, my job is a freelance job. It is going to be ending in a few months…however, there are new opportunities at my company that I can go for that would be full time. My SO is in a similar situation – the job he took is a contact job set to end early next year. Lately, we’ve been talking about next steps. We are starting to wonder, should I go for one of these full-time positions? It would be a great opportunity, and my SO is saying that he DOES want to eventually move back to the city I live in (it’s much more exciting and vibrant, and he loves it!). However, I keep getting this nagging feeling that this would put a TON of pressure on him to possibly leave the company he is with in order to move back and be with me. He could get a similar position here, but it most likely wouldn’t be with the same company he is currently with (as they only have one small location here) and might potentially pay a lot less.
Basically, I don’t want him to derail the path that he is on if he really feels it is meant for him. I do like my job, but I’m not the type of person who loves their work so much that it becomes a big part of their identity. Because of this, part of me feels like I should finish out my contract and move to be with him. He has made a lot of sacrifices for my career, so I feel like I should make some for him. If I move to be with him, he can decide for himself if he wants to A.) extend his contract where he currently is, which his boss has mentioned B.) transfer to a new location somewhere completely different (which could be exciting!) or C.) chose to move back to our originally city (where I am confident I could find another gig, even after a brief hiatus).
I’m just so torn. The romantic in me is screaming GO BE WITH YOUR TRUE LOVE! The rational side of me, however, is SO terrified to do this and shirk the upcoming opportunities at my company. I don’t want to be looked down on professionally…but I also don’t want to miss out on being with the love of my life, potentially being engaged in the next few months, and planning our lives together. He is, after all, my partner in crime!
Any thoughts? Advice? Been through this before? I’d love to know!