(Closed) Career woman to stay-at-home mom, need cheering up :(

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m not a mom yet, but I haven’t found a job in my field. (Been out of post-grad school 5 years).  I get INCREDIBLY jealous when I see people from school, etc. that have great jobs.   In fact, yesterday on the subway I ran into a classmate that has a terrific, high paying job.  I cried on my walk home.  I called my DH to tell him how upset I was, and how much anger I have towards people with great jobs.  Life isn’t fair sometimes.  I feel so jealous and angry about it sometimes all I can do is just cry my eyes out.   I can relate to how you are feeling though.   Soon you will have a beautiful baby, and I bet that will make it easier on you!

Post # 4
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Yep.

And I feel like it’s the best decision I could make for my family. Mine didn’t involve a layoff, but a voluntary resignation when I was 4 months pregnant.

I was a social worker. I LOVE working, making my own money, advancing in my field, conversing with adults but the  nature of the work was starting to harden me as a future mother.

I now work PT for my parents’ company. It’s the best decision I ever made. When baby comes I will work 1 or 2 half days a week and be a SAHM the rest of the time.

 

Post # 5
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think the grass is always greener and there are pros and cons to each lifestyle.  I have seen several friends go back to work after short maternity leaves, pumping endlessly and just being exhausted and emotionally drained.  I miss working but I am excited to be able to stay home until I want to go back to work but not having any deadlines.  

Post # 6
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@SamanthaLovesJames:  ha ha ha – yes have that feeling but it’s the other direction. One of my friends quit her highly paid professional job to finish planning her wedding and work on starting a family. I still have mine. We are both pregnant. Whenever I see her I am so jealous of how relaxed she is, her casual maternity style while am stuffed into my itchy maternity professional clothes, and how she spends her days in a 110 percent more enjoyable manner than I do! Maybe it’s just one of those things where both working and staying at home have something to be jealous of! 

Post # 7
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@MrsMaskatoBe:  Sounds like you have the best of both worlds. It would be ideal to work part time, and you’re lucky your parents have a company. For us, I know we need two incomes and it would be impossible to go from what I’m making now to nothing.

I have the opposite feeling…I’m jealous of moms who get to stay home!! (we don’t have kids yet, but we already know we will both have to work).

Post # 8
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think it makes sense how you feel.  I have to say though, the grass always always always looks greener on the other side, and just remember that.  Maybe they had some jealousy of you and your situation, which sounds lovely.  Sometimes I think jealousy is a good thing, because it reminds us of who we are and what we want or value, so that we can continue working toward those things.

Post # 9
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@BoxerLady:  I don’t know what your salary requirements are or what kind of field you work in, but there are fields with several work from home options. I know there is a thread on the bee somewhere!

Post # 10
Member
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I can’t imagine being a working mom! I work in infant care, and the moms dropping their kids off in the morning are half hysterical!I can’t wait to stay home and have my own!

But Grass is Always Greener Syndrome is pretty hard to fight!

Post # 11
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@fsowife:  totally – I took a day off this week and brought the girls to a children’s museum. I ran into a former coworker who quit to be a SAHM (our older girls are the same age, she quit in 2010) and she told me that she was jealous that I was working and she’s been trying unsuccessfully to get a job. I was really surprised – I had no idea that someone would envy my crazy-ass mostly-successful attempts at work-family balance, because I’m sure it would be so much easier to just not work, but she said it’s hard only being mommy 24/7 and I can definitely see how that would be hard. I really enjoy the identity that I have at work, and the successes and achievements, and of course the paycheck. Every family and every woman makes the right choice for their situation…it all works out 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I totally understand. I wasn’t exactly in a high-powered career, but I was really good at my job, and very appreciated by the people I worked with. Plus, my immediate supervisor was a great friend, and we got to hang out together all day. Now my son is 4 months old, and I do miss working, especially when I meet up with my friend and hear stories of what’s going on. But then I look at my little man and can’t imagine leaving him all day to go work with other people’s children. I am working from home (in another job, part-time), so I get some other interaction during the day, but that’s a tricky balance, too. I think you will find that your days get very full, very quickly. Not that you’ll always love it, but it’s also pretty special.

Post # 13
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

There is no perfect solution. If you were to go back to work, you would miss your baby like crazy. If you stay home with the baby, you will miss your work. At some point, you have to come to terms with your decision and commit. Then, in a few years, you can think about reevaluating. 

My baby is 12 weeks old and I had to go back to work, but luckily as a professor, I can work a lot from home, but it SUCKS. I would kill to be home with her and to be focused on her the entire time I’m home, but I can’t. At the same time, I love work, and I feel so fulfilled each time I walk into my classes.

If you go to work, you’ll be jealous of the SAHMs. If you stay at home, you’ll be jealous of the career women.

Post # 14
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m not sure if this helps, but I’m totally jealous of you right now 🙂 You get to stay at home with your baby and see him or her grow and do fun projects with the baby – drawing, painting etc. You won’t be as likely to have competing priorities and be stressed and tired. I know you were looking for women who could relate but I just couldn’t help posting as I wish I was in your shoes (just started maternity leave but will be returning after a year).

 

 

 

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