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Is it really okay to have a cash bar? We are having beer wine and soda all night and then one "drink ticket" per guest, but the rest of the mix drinks would be cash bar. Is this okay or is it tacky?
My opinion is its tacky (you asked). If you were hosting a party at your home, you wouldn't ask guests to pay for drinks. The same rules apply for a wedding. If you can't afford to serve the mixed drinks, then don't have them as an option.
Its totally okay!! It's not in everyones budget to do an open bar! It's your wedding, so only do what you can afford! Besides, beer and wine is good enough!!
I think that's ok because you're supplying some alcohol. We are having beer, wine, soda, and a signature cocktail. The reception is at a restaurant that has a full bar, so if someone wants something else they can get it, but they will have to pay for it since we are not having an open bar.
i think cash bars are not nice (and i dont drink alcohol) but i hear in some areas its quite the norm
i would prefer to stick to beer, wine & soda if it was me as that seems to be the norm for weddings we attend and ive never head any complaints
I also find the idea of a cash bar to be a little offensive, and my logic is similar to texasmeredith's. If I invited a guest to my home, I would not charge them for liquor. If I invited a guest to an event where they would potentially be flying to attend said event, paying for a hotel, paying for a rental car, and purchasing a gift for me, I most certainly would not charge them for liquor. Perhaps it's because I know our friends like to get their drink on, but an open bar was a non-negotiable expense for my fiance and me when we started planning our wedding. If I were totally unable to afford an open bar, I would consider either a beer/wine reception, or a brunch event with champagne and desserts.
Hiya this is going to go against all the other comments but I am not having an open bar for my wedding. And I also do not totally agree that if I was having a party I would supply all the liquor. My friends certainly like to get their drink on as redherring said but that does not mean that we can afford it! It is great that you are thinking of having beer, wine, and soda available. It really is just about what you can realistically afford. If having an open bar is high on your priority list, go for it. If not, use the money you'd save and put it towards something more important. We cannot afford an open bar. Besides I'll only have been 21 for a month when we get married. Our guests know I'm a student and that we have a mortgage plus other bills to pay. Good luck! And I sincerely hope that I did not offend anyone!
I also don't think it's offensive to have beer/wine/soda and one drink ticket for mixed drinks and have a cash bar for further mixed drinks. My friends also like to drink and I know that it can be very, very expensive to have an open bar for people who like to drink a lot. If you can't afford it, then I don't think it's a bad thing to only offer certain drinks free and have your guests pay for other drinks.
I think a cash bar is a no no. A hostess should not offer something she can't afford and ask her guests to cover the cost. Imagine if you went to a wedding where the appetizers and dessert were supplied but if you wanted dinner you had to pay. Or other way around. If you can't afford it, don't offer it. The beer and wine should be enough.
Some people might say that even when you go to someone's home for a party you usually bring a bottle of something to help offset the cost so you are paying for your drinks. well when it comes to the wedding people are bringing you gifts and those gifts are (most likely) way more expensive than the money that would be put towards paying for a few of their drinks.
Tacky! People are spending money on you and your gifts... you pay for the party... I would suggest just sticking to beer and wine and don't open it up for other drinks. That way you are supplying what you can afford and they feel like they are receiving the gift of boose in return.... good luck
While I agree with many of of the other commenters regarding the etiquette side of being a proper host(ess) for your guests, I have attended a wedding that included a open-bar cocktail hour, champagne toast, and wine with dinner with a cash bar after dinner/cake cutting/etc.
Really, it was just the party-hardy crew who purchased additional drinks (I may or may not have been part of that crew ;) ) and I never once felt that this was inappropriate or tacky as a guest and I don't think anyone else did either...just an anecdotal experience, fwiw.
Part of me thinks just offer the beer and wine and a signature drink during cocktail hour, but if you feel the group might be put off at the lack of a full bar and won't take issue with paying for their drinks, then go for it. You know your attendees! :)
Go for the cash bar! It is not tacky, you are providing food, atmosphere, a limited supply of drinks for everyone; that is more than enough. A cash bar limits the amount people will drink and limits the amount of half drank glasses. I have been to a wedding that was open bar and it was so wasteful, people would only drink half their drink before getting a new one. As for the hostess comments, at least where I come from, you buy what you normally drink and people bring whatever they normally drink.
I went to a wedding last week where they had a cash bar. I paid $650 for my flight there, I was in the wedding party, I paid for a dress and new shoes. Seriously... they couldn't buy me a martini?
So... during dinner they served wine & punch. During the dancing portion of the reception all of a sudden it went to a cash bar. I was charged even for water & I'm pretty sure it was just tap. All the drinks were in plastic cups to boot! A pop or juice? $3.25. A real drink (also in a plastic cup) over $7.
I was appalled & had I not been in the bridal party I would have left.
I think you're better off just serving beer, wine & non-alcoholic beverages and forgetting the cash bar!
I don't think having a cash bar is tacky. Yes, your friends and family will be spending money traveling from miles and miles away to see you and your sweetheart wed but they will also understand that throwing a wedding is not cheap. I think your idea sounds great 
I think cash bars are tacky, yes. However, I don't think there's anything wrong with just offering beer, wine and soda.
Sorry but I have to agree with tacky. I think people would be understanding though of beer, wine, and soda with a signature drink or two thrown in if you can swing it.
I don't know; cash bars are pretty common in some areas. Are they common in yours? If they are, I wouldn't think twice about this. Ask your parents and a few of their friends: if they don't flinch, then go for it. If they freak out, then just host the beer/wine/soda and don't give the partially hosted full bar--just go all open or make it unavailable altogether.
Personally, I think this is fine. You're providing something for everyone to drink with their dinner, a cocktail if they want it, and the rest is on them. You're not obligated to get them drunk, and especially not on the liquor of their choosing.
beer, wine, and soda is the way to go. some people understand if you can't have an open bar, while others don't. wouldn't you HATE to think that after all this work and planning for your most special day that one of your guests might go home and say "well that was tacky"? i wouldn't want to risk it. if you can't afford it, don't even have it as an option. if people really want liquor, bars will be open afterwards!
I don't think it's tacky, especially if it's not in your budget. If you can afford it and choose not to, then that is one thing but it is a lot of extra money to have a true open bar so if the finance's just aren't there, then it's not a big deal to serve beer, wine and soda (which I went to a wedding last year that did that and believe me, wine and beer get you drunk just as well as liquour :)...Personally, I think "tacky" is a heavy word to throw around and maybe we could all be a little bit more sensitive to that...Do what you can afford and don't stress about it...
I don't think it's offensive at all. All the weddings I've gone to (except one) have beer and wine available but everything else is cash bar. I don't see what the big deal is, and I've never heard anyone complain about it. Is it normal with your friends and family? Then don't sweat what other people here might say.
We're doing beer and wine hosted - cocktails will be cash bar. Our reception is at a restaurant with a full private bar in the room, and we only have the money for beer and wine, an open bar would be our ENTIRE budget. It isn't an option for us to serve only beer and wine. There's a full bar right there! People, in my group at least, would be upset that they could see the bottle of liquor right in front of them but not have any kind of option to get a drink from it.
Really, I think you're totally fine doing that.
@RecessionistaBride: They charged for WATER?! Wow. Just wow.
I've been to plenty of weddings where the beer and wine were free, but anything other than that were cash. I think it's fine! Heck, I went to a wedding where the beer and wine were free, but I had to pay for my soda! That was tacky...but whatever. Anyway...I think as long as you're having free beer/wine/soda it's totally fine! If someone wants something other than what you're offering for free, then they can pay for it. I don't think anyone will have a problem with that.
Cash bar is the norm in my family. Most people do open bar onyl for the cocktail hour and no one ever complains. I think you should do what you can afford. It's nice that you are offering some type of alcohol throughout the reception.
I was in a bridal party last week and after the coktail hour all drinks went to cash bar and I wasn't offended at all. I knew the couple did the best they could and it isn't that big of a deal to pay for my own drinks.
Most UK weddings are cash bars. You get a glass of bubbly to toast with, glass or two of wine with dinner, and the rest of the drinks are paid for. Sometimes the first hour might be free, or there is a bit of money put towards drinks behind the bar.
I didn't realise this for ages, as the majority of weddings I had ever been to were open bar, and got a shock when I had to pay for drinks once! Oh, my sheltered Jewish Princess life!
Cash bar is totally fine. I've been to weddings where some or all of the drinks were cash bar, and I've also been to weddings with open bar. I had a great time at them all. Like one of the pp's said, you're not obligated to get your guests drunk. Comparing making the guests pay for food to making them pay for certain types of alcohol is waaaay off. Alcohol is definitely not a necessity, it is a luxury. I didn't think any less of the couples that had the cash bars or very little alcohol at all at their weddings.
However, if you will be doing a cash bar, I'd get the word out, maybe word of mouth or put it on your wedding website, so people can be prepared with cash.
For the people who have said cash bars are tacky, have you been to weddings with cash bars and left the wedding thinking, "i can't believe they had a cash bar... how tacky!" I'm not trying to argue, I'm just really curious.
@Jacqui - haven't responded yet, but yes I have. Once I went to a wedding where it was beer and wine for the cocktail hour, then beer was cash, then beer and white wine (???) was charged for (7$ a glass), then all alcohol, then all alcohol and soda. By the end of the night, it was to-go cups and tap water only.
That being said, beer, wine, and soda for the whole night for free? Not preferred, but I would say "not tacky" to that one.
our entire alcohol consumption is cash bar....both of our parents are recovering and have been for like 25 years so out of respect for them we chose not to purchase alcohol for the guests however, they have the option of buying their own. we of course have a tab set up with the bar for us and our bridal party.
I may be in the minority on this but I think it is ok, as long as you are offering the wine and beer. Some people might be annoyed by the fact that they CAN'T purchase what they want when the bar is right there.
But again, I think it comes down to how you think your guests would feel. I would ask around and get an idea of what is socially acceptable among your guests.
I've been to 12 weddings, and ALL of them had cash bars (for everything, not just liquor!). I'm from Boston, so maybe it's the norm there, but when I go to weddings, I expect cash bars. I've only ever seen an open bar during cocktail hour and then champagne for the toast. I think you're already providing enough alcohol, and if guests want liquor, then they can pay for it.
And there are a lot of comments saying that if you invite people into your home, then you provide them with alcohol, and I disagree with that as well. If I have an extra bottle of wine or something, then sure, I'll share it, but none of my friends would ever come to my house empty handed alcohol-wise, just like I wouldn't go to their house and not bring a bottle of wine. Again, maybe this is just how my friends and I are and not the norm. Liquor isn't a requirement like food is. Just guage what other people in your area do because there are always split opinions about this on weddingbee. Good luck!
Once again I think is a regional/circle of friends/family thing. Where I'm from and in my family and group of friends, it's top priority to have a full open bar. We went to a wedding where it was like one hour cash bar or something and no one shut up about it.
However, I've heard people on this board say that cash bar is the norm where they're from. So I think it depends on the crowd and their expectations.
IMHO, a cash bar is tacky. I might be in the minority here, but I also think offering drink tickets at a wedding reception is also tacky. I've only been to one wedding with a cash bar (everything alcoholic was cash, nothing was paid by the couple), which I had to book a flight/hotel/rental car for and like RecessionistaBride said, I was a little put out that they couldn't spring for a glass of wine for everyone.
But, I think just offering beer and wine (and non alcoholic drinks) is totally fine. I don't think you "need" to have hard liquor available at a reception.
I agree that it depends on where you are from. In my area, cash bars are a no-no. I guess it has to do with the fact that the cost of a wedding here is less than it is in other cities. We are having an open bar, but we are also able to stock the bar with our own beer/liquor/wine, so that's a huge savings.
I think that it's good that you're not making everyone pay for everything though, and still providing beer, wine and soft drinks. It really just depends on where you are from and the type of guests you are inviting. Ask around! :)
I agree that it depends on the norm in your region and who your guests are. I mean, I think you should just consider whether the majority of your guests would consider it to be tacky. If so, then maybe just not have the cash bar option and only supply the beer, wine and soda.
It comes down to your budget really. If you can't afford it, don't do it. I would say no drink tickets though. That's slightly - and I hate to use this word but you used it in the original post - tacky. Can you do a signature cocktail with the wine and beer or is that outside the budget? I always think that's a nice touch when the couple can't swing the full open bar. That being said, in my area an open bar is the norm, but I have learned from WB that it is a regional thing. Whatever you do, though, if it's a cash bar you need to make sure people know. I don't normally carry cash with me and as a guest I would like to know ahead of time so I can make sure I hit the ATM before the wedding.
Oh yeah...definitely no to drink tickets.
I think this is the most tasteful way to do it...
Don't publicize that there is a cash bar option. I would serve the wine and beer and make it clear that it is offered. Like, make a little "wine and beer list" describing the selections to accompany your menu. No sign at the bar or anything implying there is a cash bar option. I bet most people will be satisfied with that. But if someone asks for something else, then the bartender should tell them that the hosts only provided wine and beer but they are welcome to purchase any drink they would like.
Of course, I agree with others to consider the norm for your region or family. But I think there is another interesting point to bring up---
I noticed where it has come up about guests paying cash for mixed drinks (when beer and wine were free) at receptions held at restaurants. To me, the venue makes a world of difference. Restaurants would already have the liquor available-- if a guest sees something they want, by all means they should be able to order it knowing it's not covered. But to cart in drink options to another venue (hotel ballroom, event space, etc) without them being free is a little off-- but just for me personally. Importantly, DH and I only served beer and wine and I am 100% sure no one felt slighted. We just made sure to have more than enough so the drinks flowed freely all night!
Beffielou's point makes a ton of sense. Big difference between a restaurant and a hall where you would be bringing the booze in.
It's a regional and personal budget thing. My Husband is from Maine, where they always have cash bars. We were married in NYC...where cash bars are rare (i've never seen one here), so his friends thought we were rich! (oh, don't i wish!)
I would be perfectly happy with what you provided (I don't think it's the 't' word at all). I would however just do beer and wine and not provide a 'drink' ticket at all. I wouldn't add the extra expense to your tab...I'm sure people will be fine with just beer and wine. (This comes from a person that doesn't drink beer, but I do drink wine. But for cocktail hour I'd definitly pay for my own drink if i wanted something else.)
@msmonica: lovely sentiment. That is incredibly thoughtful of you and your husband to be not to give anyone an extra struggle on such a special day. Cheers to you!
Oh God, please no. A hostess and host are reposible for all aspects of a party to ensure that guests are well taken care of. You wouldn't pour a glass of wine for someone invited in your home for a party and then promplty ask for money. If money is the issue, stick to non-alocholic bev's.
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