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Host what you can afford. If this means an open bar, that's lovely. If not, then maybe do beer, wine, and a signature cocktail. At no point in a hosted event should the guest have to open their wallets or purses!
As for you being underage, your venue or caterer should have the proper licensing for serving alcohol.
@DaneLady: I agree - whatever you can afford (even uf that means no alcohl) without asking your guests to pay.
Even if you're underage, your guests will probably enjoy alcohol. Since you are the host, you should provide at least beer, wine, and soft drinks.
@DaneLady: I disagree. They are already providing a meal and entertainment, they don't need to provide free alcohol on top of that. Having a cash bar wedding is fine. I know there was a thread last week I think that everyone expressed their opinion on cash bars, and it clearly varies based on the crowd you run with and the area you come from.
If you can't afford an open bar then a cash bar is totally fine, IMO.
@msfahrenheit: I agree. Plus, you'll probably be able to dirnk pretty easily at your own wedding unless your parents would stop you. It's not like the bartender will be checking IDs.
Totally depends on why and where
What is common in your area and what would people expect. In my area I have never been to a cash bar and people would not be happy at all if they went to a wedding with one. (unles it was an obviously low cost wedding) Even just beer and wine. Other areas open bar is unusual.
Why are you not having alcohol, only because you are not 21? I dont drink soda or rum or scotch, but I provided that for my guests. Or because it is a money thing? Or a religious thing?
I think it's fine either way. If you can afford open bar, nice!
If not, you can compromise having wine/beer and then cash bar.
Or, simply just cash bar.
FI and I are not too crazy on beer so we will only serve wine at our reception. The rest is cash bar as we can't afford open bar.
There is no rule says that wedding needs to have alcohol provided by the host. I would encourage to at least provide some soft drinks if no alcohol. I don't want to get thirsty :)
Cash bar is definitely ok. I can't understand how people afford open bar or even open beer and wine options. The price is ridiculous, and I'm sure all of your guests would rather see you save that money and put it towards a house or honeymoon. I've only been to 1 open bar wedding and people left drinks half-full only to grab another and got over the top sloppy drunk. You're shelling out enough for the food and entertainment and your guests won't care about paying for a few beers.
@Meliss1007: At my reception, it's priced into the package, and if you don't want it, you have to go a la carte on everything, which ends up costing way, way more. On the a la cart drink menu, though, soda for everyone is $30/person, and beer and wine is only $5 more.
@BayStateBride: I appreciate your opinion, but I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree. I think if you can't afford an open bar, or even a few bottles of wine on each table, then a dry reception is more etiquette-appropriate than expecting guests to pay for anything.
@DaneLady: I agree. The guests shouldn't have to even bring a wallet to your wedding, except maybe for valet (and I'm a little torn on that one).
@brenda.m.fields: I think in a big city where people generally expect to pay for parking, they would bring a few bucks for valet. Where I am from though, people usually expect valet/parking to be included. We actually chose a venue based on their all-inclusiveness: our guests won't need to bring a penny with them except for travel and accommodations.
We actually found a local park district that will do a chicken and beff plate with an open bar for $28 for that price were probably going to go with the open bar package!
If most of your guest are also under 21 I would do a dry reception. I also agree with do what you can afford its your day!
Depends on what is accepted in your area, and what your budget is. If you're inviting 100 guests, and have $3000 to burn on an open bar, go ahead and do that. If you don't have the money, but still want to have a bar be available, then have a cash bar. Simple as that.
@DaneLady: I live in Boston. Open Bar is VERY expensive. I have NEVER been to a wedding where it was a full open bar. I am doing open bar beer and wine only. Mostly because I have to bring all my alcohol to the venue. If I hosted a full open bar or even an open bar with a signature drink beyond the beer and wine we are talking THOUSANDS of dollars. I'd rather put my money into the food and festivities. If people are looking to come to my wedding to get messy on MY dime then they need to think again.
My wedding is also on St Patrick's Day and I don't want somebody to get pulled over and have my name come out of their mouth!
With that said, if you are under 21 and can't even drink why would you afford that luxury to the rest of the room, I'd do a cash bar and I am SURE everybody will respect that....
@brenda.m.fields: The bartender is checking ID's at my wedding. They have to, by law....
I don't like the idea of cash bars, so I would vote against it. I did everything in my power to ensure I didn't have to do a cash bar (in fact, I would only choose a venue that allowed me to bring my own alcohol, because I knew that's the only way I could afford a bar).
That being said, you're underage, so I'll assume many of your guests will be, too. Since you're young, you're probably on a limited budget. If I received an invitation to your wedding, I probably wouldn't expect a lot of drinking. In your case, maybe a bottle of red and a bottle of white on each table would be appropriate...? Then, those of age can have a glass or two of wine with dinner, but there won't be heavy drinking going on...? That seems like a good compromise and shouldn't cost much.
(I definitely think N/A bevs should be available for free)
@les105: While I understand your suggestions, if there are under age people there and wine is freely provided on the tables, it is considered providing beverages to a minor and somebody could be liable and it could get messy, fast.
I do think cash bar is not a big deal. I have been to a lot of weddings in the past and only a handful are open bar.
I personally like the cash bar idea and been to several that has it. I am not a wine drinker nor a beer drinker so I prefer to have a mixed drink if I feel like an alcoholic drink. So having a cash bar will give me the option to get something on my own which is not provided by host. I am okay with it since I am picky. It's not like they don't serve any drinks.
What I have seen in the past, if both couple like to drink alcohol, they tend to be more generous on the alcohol beverage. But some couple just don't like it and if they prefer to have a dry reception, so be it. If the guests are expecting to have everything, not just food + Non-alcoholic drinks, but also alcohols are provided for free, then I think it is a little bit much to demand. After all you are going there to celebrate the couple's wedding, not to try to get free booze and food.
One thing I can suggest, if your budget can allow a little bit alcohol. Instead of doing a cash bar or open bar, (since some people here are offended by the cash bar idea), check with your venue to see how much to bring in your own alcohol. sometimes the bottle open fee is higher than getting their house wine. Set a limit on the number of wines / beer you want to serve and once that quota is up, no more will be served by the waiters. That way the guests won't need to pay for the drinks and you don't have to shell out money for an open bar. And it should eliminate the problem of serving drinks to minors.
@Ms. Gertie: Really? the only weddings I have been to are Boston, NYC and CT area. They have only been open bars.
they wouldn't literally have to be sitting on the table, they could just be allotted to each table. I just think thatAMOUNT of alcohol would be appropriate. Furthermore, I don't think you're any safer having an open bar, people can just as easily hand off drinks. I'm assuming if the op is considering open bar, then her alcohol will be catered, not self serve, so the liability wouldnt be an issue.
I'm 100% against the idea of cash bars. Guests shouldn't have to pay for anything.
@les105: I do see your point. I am having a small wedding so I am not to worries about that but since it is on a "drinking holiday", I really have to be careful. Besides my fiances boss is the Sheriff of Suffolk County....she will be there, LOL
@lefeymw: then the couple must be rich.
My limited bar of beer and wine is about 2k and I am having 66 people at my wedding :(. I cannot afford a full open bar
@lefeymw: I live in MA and I've NEVER been to an open bar wedding. Every wedding I've ever been to I had to buy my own alcohol.
@brenda.m.fields: Every venue we have looked at we had to ask about if people under 21 were allowed since alcohol was being served. They all said under 21 is allowed into the venue, but the bartenders will be checking IDs as required by law.
I have never been to a cash bar.. I lived in CT up until a few years ago, and have been to weddings from Boston, to NJ.
With that I don't really have an opinion on the situation whatever you decide is best, will be best! Good luck.
@Blondetourage: Thank you! LOL I'd love to go to an open bar wedding, LOL.....
@Ms. Gertie: Haha omg me too!! I would be SO excited to go to an open bar wedding. Shit, I was excited when I found out soda was free at my nephews wedding, lol!
@Blondetourage: We are having a limited open bar, beer and wine and people are sooooo excited, LOL
@MadameTussaud: I'm sure they reserve that right. I'm jsut saying from personal experience that I never once had an ID checked at a wedding. At my aunt's my 15 year old brother and I (then 18) were able to order drinks from the bartender ourselves without a single question asked. There's the policy and the reality.
I was carded at my sister's wedding. I was 19, so my dad just got me a glass of champagne so I could toast them.
I was 20 at my first wedding and I definitely drank. But that's mostly because I think that if I can go die for my country and help determine who the president is going to be, I can drink a glass of champagne at my wedding as long as I'm not driving anywhere...and as long as the venue never asked what my age is so they have some deniability.
@HappierKate: They are still liable. Doesn't matter if they asked or not. If you left there and got pulled over they are responsible, weather they asked or not.
I understand your statement about being able to drink if you can die for your country. Sadly that is not the law.
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Me and my Fiance are not able to drink were under 21 should we have open bar or cash bar?