Post # 1
[Disclaimer: This is a specific question about the cash bar debate. I know I can’t tell anyone what to do, but please try to direct replies to this specific question and don’t break-down into the typical cash bar war and tell me why you think a cash bar is ok/wrong unless it pertains to said specific question.]
Over and over and over I see it again and again.
Cash bars are rude, because people don’t bring cash to a wedding.
OK, if I’m honest, this makes no sense to me. I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have some cash on me or easily accessible (and I’m not talking about an ATM). It may only be $20, but it’s never less. There are situations where using a card doesn’t make sense (ie sport events, craft shows, etc). There are situations where credit card scanner systems are down. Or, God forbid, your card is declined for whatever reason.
The point is that I might not have a lot of cash on me, so I may be limited in the number of drinks I can get, but I still have cash.
But there’s this claim that guests won’t have cash. So I’ve had the impression that what I do- carry around emergency cash- is abnormal and everyone lives off their card and does not have any amount tucked away in their wallet or purse. The excuse that guests don’t have cash on them seems to be a strawman argument- it’s not that they don’t have the cash, it’s that they don’t want to spend the cash. Which is a different argument entirely.
So this is a two parter, I suppose.
1) Do you typically carry emergency cash or have it easily acccessible (ie in your car, in your desk at work, etc.)?
2) Is it a valid reason to say that cash bars are rude because attendees do not have cash on them?
Post # 2
I honestly never carry more than a few quarters in case my parking lots full. I can seriously not remember the last time I had cash dollars in my wallet and Darling Husband is the same way. I think it is a very valid and realistic excuse and expectation. I’m not a fan of cash bars, but it doesn’t really have much to do with not having cash, although I would hate to have to pay an ATM fee to pay for a drink at a wedding, I’d just drink water and leave early. Although I would assume the bar could take cards? I also hardly ever bring a purse or anything to a wedding.
Post # 3
If I’m going to a fancy formal event like a wedding, I’m not bringing my full purse with me. And when I pack my tiny formal purse, I probably won’t put cash in it. Mayyyyybe $20, but that’s it. Because it’s not in a wallet, so it’s just floating free in the purse and I’d be worried that it would fall out when I pull out my phone to take pictures.
So yeah, this is a legit excuse, at least from my perspective. If I don’t expect to need cash, I don’t bring it.
Post # 4
Apple_Blossom: I carry emergency cash, emphasis on emergency. That cash is ONLY and I do mean ONLY to provide me a means of being able to exit an unsafe situation if I need to. I don’t spend it otherwise, and I don’t carry cash beyond my emergency cash unless I’m going to a place where I know I’ll need cash.
Cash bars are rude in my circle because they require a hosted guest to pay for something that a host should be expected to provide, so that speaks to my feelings on question #2.
Post # 5
Apple_Blossom: I never ever have cash on me. If I do, it’s spent quickly and it tends to be a while before I end up with cash again. The only time I have it on me is if I’m going to a festival/know I have to take a cab, or if it’s the next several days after such an event and I have some leftover.
I feel like carrying cash is 50/50, but I don’t think it’s abnormal for people to not have cash on them.
I feel like the no-cash argument is valid.
Post # 6
- Wedding: Cottage on the Creek
i literally havent had a dollar in my wallet in over a year. I charge even a snack from the vending machine.
This is the norm in my friend group.
I think cash bars stink honestly or anything where the host isnt truly hosting the event, but if it’s unavoidable you have to tell people in advance. I have never been invited to a cash bar wedding but if I was I would like the forwarning so we could flask up in advance.
Post # 7
I usually don’t have any cash on me; however, I also always get some cash out of the bank if I’m travelling or going to an event where it might be useful (weddings are one of those events for me).
I think as long as you make the information available so people know to bring cash (or make sure there’s an ATM on-site), it’s not really a valid argument.
Post # 8
Apple_Blossom: I rarely carry cash unless it’s specifically allocated towards something.
If I’m ever mugged it’ll be a hell of a lot easier to cancel a credit card than to get back $100 in cash.
And if you are carrying “emergency cash” why would you want to spend it at a surprise cash bar at someone’s wedding? What if there’s an emergency use for cash on the way home?
Post # 9
I never carry cash. The situations you mentioned are very unlikely. I always have more than 1 credit card, and a debit card if I really need it. But usually when I dress up and go out, i dont even have my wallet, I put my credit card and license along with phone and maybe lipgloss in a wristlet. If I know about the cash bar ahead of time, I usually go to the bank, but honestly, I prefer not to carry cash, especially at a wedding where I will be dancing and leaving my purse/wristlet at the table.
Post # 10
Sometimes I have a little bit of cash on me but not always. I think the best scenario is to offer guests free beer/wine/champagne. I know its expensive though so if that is not a priority for you I would just say make it known in advance that it is a cash bar. Put that on the website or whatever so people will know to bring cash. I don’t really mind a cash bar if I know to bring cash. Though when I show up to an event with thousands of dollars in flowers and little candy in jars, etc. and its a cash bar I do side eye that a lot more than a more budget wedding where I really get that the bride and groom were doing what they could to afford the event.
Post # 11
- Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016
1) I try to have at least a $20 in my car or my purse for emergencies, yes. I’m really bad at it though since once I spend it I tend to forget to replace it since I don’t visit the ATM all too often, but I do think it’s a good habit to have.
2) Not a valid excuse at all imo. Guests think it’s rude that they’re expected to carry a measly 20 bucks on them, but it’s not rude to expect the bride and groom to shell out another 1k+ when they’ve already provided a free meal, water/sodas and dessert? BS.
Post # 12
Apple_Blossom: both my husband and I always bring cash to a wedding to tip the bartenders. They may or may not be getting a tip from the bride and groom. So I think people’s reasoning on not carrying cash is valid, but for special events we do carry cash, and that’s where I think their reasoning isn’t valid.
Post # 13
Oh regarding the on-site ATMs. Usually these are no-named ATMs and charge an insane fee. I’d rather not drink than use those. The last time I got cash out of a bank that was not my own, I got charged almost $7 in fees. All that for a drink? Not really worth it for me.
Post # 14
I very, very rarely have cash on me. Now, my husband usually takes some cash out for events that might have a cash bar, but nope, I usually don’t carry cash. I agree that some sort of notification that it’s a cash bar would be appreciated (because generally it’s a reasonable expectation that a hosted party would have drinks provided for the guests, whether that be a full bar or some selection of options).
Post # 15
I don’t typically carry enough cash to buy drinks at a wedding, but I feel that is a lame excuse for why cash bars are rude.
Where I’m from (and it’s reigonal, y’all) cash bars are rude because you’re hosting a party, therefore your guests shouldn’t have to pay for anything while they are at the party. Not because people might not have cash.