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Wondering what you are doing with regard to alcoholic beverages. For us an open bar all night is completly out of the question. Too expensive, and our friends will certaintly drink too much!
Should we go for two bottles of wine on each table? Or have bar staff offer everyone a glass of wine while they're seated for dinner?
What is everyone here doing with regards to alcohol?
We are only paying for 1 keg of tapped beer during our reception. Everything else is a cash bar. This is a huge deal for us as my FI is in law enforcement and sees what happens to people under the influence. We look at it as it's celebration, not a reason to get drunk. We are also having a champagne toast. But no wine on the tables.
This varies by region as to what is acceptable. Most people will agree that a cash bar is to be avoided. In addtion to wine with dinner, can you have a limited open bar? (beer/wine/specialty cocktail)
We're doing champagne toast and an open bar - just a basic bar (beer, wine, vodka, gin, rum, tequila). Our place charges $15/person plus tax for 4 hour open bar, and we figured paying by consumption would probably end up being at least that much.
I think two bottles of wine per table would definitely be nice if open bar is too expensive. I'm not a fan of cash bars - I don't usually bring cash to weddings.
<p class="MsoNormal">I hear ya on the exorbitant cost of an open bar, we wouldn't be able to afford it all night either. A lot depends on your venue's pricing for alcohol, ex. per drink or per person, etc. I agree with maple, about avoiding a cash bar if possible. Our solution was to offer beer and wine throughout most of the reception (maybe not during the last hour), and only doing liquor and mixed drinks during the cocktail hour. I also like your idea of two bottles of wine at each table, you could even print up some cute labels with a monogram or picture of the two of you to personalize it!
Two bottles/table, assuming 8-10 people at a table, is more than sufficient, also keep in mind that some people don't drink. This sounds like a better option than just being offered a glass of wine. If this is all you can afford, leave it at that-don't do a cash bar!
We are doing a full open bar, along with a champagne toast, and we are toying with the idea of buying cases of champagne as well since FI and I are big champagne drinkers. However, we are younger and having an extensive open bar is far more common among our age group
than other weddings I've attended.
We are doing a full open bar, and a champagne toast. The bar is providing the liquor and beer; we are bringing in our own wine, as my cousins have a winery and have given us a really good price by the case. I expect that most people will drink liquor or mixed drinks only during the cocktail hour, and switch to wine at dinner. There are really only a few folks in our crowd that tend to drink a lot, and they are very responsible about designated drivers, so we don't think there will be any issues. And as long as you have professional bartenders, they should be able to keep an eye on things as well, just like a normal night at work.
That said, two bottles of wine should be sufficient for 8 people at a table to each get a generous pour. In general its better to go with what you can afford rather than charging. Most venues will let you bring in your own alcohol and charge you a corkage or bartending fee, which may be much less expensive than buying your alcohol through them.
i'm doing a closed bar. my MOH thinks it's tacky and poor form, but honestly... we're the ones paying and we can't afford an open bar. Plus, like you, we're trying to avoid drunk people at our wedding.
Well I am getting married at a winery, where only Beer/Wine is allowed and we are doing a cash bar, but... there will be pre ceremony champagne, one glass at the cocktail hour and one for the toast. Also we will have 2 bottles of wine per table, and I am considering adding a third. So that is almost 7 drinks per person and I know that would be enough for me!! Any more, and I figure they are on their own!
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An interesting tip, if you are supplying your own wine and there is a corkage fee - most places charge by the cork regardless of size of the bottle. So buying magnums can save you on the corkage - more wine per cork pulled.
We're doing a full open bar with a champagne toast and wine served during dinner because that is the only option offered by our venue. Its included in the overall cost of the reception and the price is still less than many other comparable places that we looked at - though it isn't cheap by any stretch of the imagination!
I personally would avoid the cash bar if there is any way possible. A good analogy that I saw somewhere (probably the Weddinebee boards) is that having a cash bar is almost like inviting a few friends over for dinner and then charging them for glasses of wine or cocktails. On the other hand, giving a couple bottles of wine to each table is a nice idea and gives you another chance to set your wedding apart from others that your guests might have been to.
I do understand not wanting to give people alcohol all night and then sending them out on the roads, avoiding that was one of my major considerations when choosing a reception venue. I wanted a venue where my friends and family could easily walk or catch a cab to their hotels. This limited my choices and has made it so that I am spending more than I would like to on the reception but I have lots of big drinkers coming, especially my friends from law school. But I doubt that a couple glasses of wine with dinner will be enough to get someone shloshed.
We are fortunate that the venue we chose allows us to provide all the alcohol and the caterer is not charging a corkage fee. Since we are having a morning wedding and brunch reception, we've decided to have champagne toast and champagne available for additional glasses and mimosas. We're also going to provide the alcohol necessary for bloody marys and a signature drink. Finally we plan to offer wine, but not beer. My plan is to purchase the alcohol with an agreement to return any unopened bottles. I would stay away from cash bar options if at all possible. Wine on the table sounds like a great idea. It is much classier to not offer alcohol at all than to charge. Like most etiquette books say, would you invite someone to your house, offer them a drink and then charge them?
Wine flight with dinner, champagne"bar" along with champagne for toasting, open premium bar, all evening with capability for mojitos, martini's, daquiri's, etc. A selection of a few of our favorite microbrews as well and as I hate how bottles photograph, beer will be served in pilsners for the beer crowd.. Oh, and NO SHOTS (even if requested by some nut) will be served.
open bar. we're having a prosecco bar during the cocktail hour and then prosecco all night long (i like it better than champagne actually!). also, instead of a signature drink, we're having local beers from where everyone is from (shiner for us, dogfish head for my parents and iron city for FI's family). we can bring in our own alcohol though so we can have a little fun with it.
i would also try REALLY hard to go with beer, wine and a signature drink for all the reasons mentioned above. if it's absolutely not possible, as far as during dinner, i think bottles on the tables are best.
You'll also want to check your state laws - NH doesn't allow you to bring your own stuff into a venue.
Our package comes with a champagne toast, and we're pricing out our options for a partial open bar. We want to offer a keg of our favorite beer, and wine, but charge for the rest of it.
We are having a free wine pour with Hor'dourves as well as free beer at that time, a free wine pour with dinner, beer as well (pretty much buying a keg or two and letting them go til empty) and then free champainge for the toast.
We are also offering a special non-alcoholic punch and coffe, pop and milk as well. All night long.
We got around some of the expense of an open bar by limiting it to three hours, then switching to a host bar (where we pay per drink) for the last hour. Likely, most people will be on their way out by then.
Another way I've seen to cut the cost of an open bar is to close the bar for an hour during dinner.
We are handing out drink tickets with the escort cards, So they will get 2 free drinks and then we will also have red and wine wine on the table during dinner. I really didn't want to go with an open bar because I've see it abused so many times at weddings, people leaving half-empty drinks everywhere or drinking way too much.
I figure giving them two free drinks of their choice plus wine is plenty and if they would like more there will be a cash bar for additional drinks.
What Mr Pickle and I did for our wedding a few weeks ago was get 1 large keg ( Coors light) and 2 small kegs (Fat Tire and Deschutes Mirror Pond) of beer and went with a simple but sheik, i.e. cheap, martini bar. All we did was buy Svedka vodka and assorted mixers (Chocolate, Dirty, Lemon Drop, Pomegranate, etc) and set 2 bottles of wine per table. You can return unused bottles of alcohol and mixers to the store after the wedding if they are still there. People were impressed, it was easy and we had a lot left over. Oh and not too many drunkards either which is amazing because our people can drink.
We did not have any of the bubbly because not many people actually drink it down so we saved money by cutting it and having people toast with what they had. The DJ told the crowd to fill up their drinks because the toast was coming and no one missed the Champagne at all.
BevMo has an awesome 5 cent wine sale coming up which is how we saved money on the wine and they were supper helpful with the rest of the drinks too. They even chilled the kegs, wine, vodka, etc for several weeks for us and all the Groom had to do was pick it up the morning of the wedding and take it to the reception venue. Hope this helps.
If you can it is best to not make your guests pay for drinks...if you can.
Good Luck,
Mrs. Pickle
vaguely related: when i told my dad i was going to a wedding with a cash bar he said, "that's what flasks were invented for." :)
Amysue that's funny!!!!
It's interesting to read what everyone is doing. I am trying to make my decision right now. There are A LOT of alcoholics on my side and my FI and don't drink. We agreed no alcohol except for the toast for our lunch reception. My brother said "that's great...just have a bottle or two of wine on the table and you're set!". Yep, he didn't get it. I was a wedding coordinator for awhile and what I typically saw was a sign at the bar saying what was offered (wine, soda, ice tea, lemonade, coffee). Once the guests sat, only water and ice tea or lemonade was served (so no wine glasses on the table). Really, you know your guests best and what would work.
Thanks for all your advice.
I think I'm going to go for 2 bottles of wine on the table and people can buy any other drinks they want. Our reception is at a hotel which does not allow us to bring any of our own drinks in so it will be about $6 per drink if we pay for the open bar. Luckily many of our friends will be spending the night at the hotel, so they can go and have a few drinks in their rooms beforehand and during :)
I personally wouldn't be offended if I had to pay for drinks at a wedding. I hope my guest will think it is nice enough to be offered a $75 meal and a glass or two of wine.....
We're both just starting out our careers and I don't want to be bankrupted by the wedding. We opted for a nicer venue and meal so hopefully this will make up for the limited free booze.
What we did was a very limited open bar. We purchased a case of wine, a case of champagne, (a case being 12 bottles each) and two kegs, for a grand total of around $600 or so. (They charge quite a bit for the kegs because they count it like per drink instead of what a keg actually costs at the liquor store). I TOTALLY understand when people don't agree that it looks super tacky to have a cash bar. We had the same monetary concerns. You have to look at what you are already giving your guests - it's not like you are saying to bring their own takeout to the wedding, you are providing them with a celebration, a night where they can enjoy themselves, and a great dinner. While not paying for everyone's alcohol might seem like an atrocity to those who can't bear the thought socially, alcohol doesn't have to be and isn't going to be the number one priority of all your guests' night. You have to look at it as an extra bonus. Drinking alcohol, in all other times in life, is considered optional. Dinner, not so much. In a way, why do people think it's so necessary to provide your guests with alcohol? It's almost like saying "I know this is going to be awkward and you might wish you stayed home, so we are going to pay for your alcohol so you stay here to make us look good". Does a random guy at a bar buy a girl a drink because it's socially unacceptable NOT to? No, he buys it to impress her and to keep her around. (in a flirting situation that is).
We were very lucky because even with our limited open bar, that alcohol lasted and I don't believe anyone had to pay for any drinks. We had a certain amount of drinkers, but my husband's side is a little anti-alcohol, so that helped a lot. For a 125-150 person reception, we all had a great time and didn't have any complaints!
If your guests know you well enough to come to your wedding, they should know you well enough to know that you aren't meaning to be disrespectful by not paying for your drinks. When they come over for dinner, sure, it would be ridiculous to ask for money. But really, if some members of your family are pretentious and would literally be extremely offended by a cash bar, then I hate to say it, you're not the one with the problem.
we're doing a hosted bar up to about $2K (they will let us know when we get close to the amount and we can choose to continue), placing cognac on each table, and having our servers serve red or white wine to each person who wants it.
there is corkage fee for each of alcohol pieces, but that should still keep costs down, even though it is quite a bit.
i just think cash bars are not a great idea, so do what you can to work around it. good luck!
I'd personally rather have an "okay" meal rather than a fantastic meal if it meant an open bar as opposed to cash. But that's me - and and open bar was/is something important to DF and I.
We are having beer and wine.... not sure where you are located but if you have a BevMo... just be patient for the NICKLE SALE.....
cash bar is a bummer....
Like I said earlier. We can't bring ANY of our own liquor in. Essentially for me to offer 2 bottles of wine on each table we are going to have to pay $1,500.
I've been to some weddings with "ok" meals and I still remember that the meal was not good. But I rarely remember how many drink tickets I got or whether there was an open bar..... Atleast if you don't get many free drinks you can buy your own, but if you get a crappy meal you just have to eat what you can of it and get some fast-food after the wedding :)
I guess it's a personal thing. It may also vary by region. I have yet to be to a wedding with an open bar before, so I think maybe it's not as taboo to do it where I am from. With the cost of the wedding before the liquor being so enormous I don't see how we can really fit this into our budget. Maybe if I had someone else shelling out the money for me I may share some of the above noted opinions :)
Open bar is a high priority of mine and FI... I agree with the other birdes who have said that they'd rather have OK food and an open bar than stellar food and a cash bar.
Luckily for us, the venue/caterer we're planning on using has both. Awesome tasty food and only $14/person for 6 hours of open bar! In LA no less!
I hope no one misunderstood me and my previous comment. While it is perfectly fine to not have alcohol at all at your reception, it is typically frowned upon to have a cash bar. Lots of people don't bring much money with them to weddings because they expect an open bar.
I know that in my group of friends and family, alcohol is an expected part of a celebration, especially wine and champagne for toasts and I don't think they should have to pay a dime to toast us, even though that creates a greater expense for FI and I. I want my guests to all have a great time and I would have cut some other things in order to make sure that the people who do come have a fantastic time. Just my personal feelings.
Oddly enough, the open bar is one of the things my mom felt REALLY strongly about. I say oddly, because she doesn't drink much if at all - and she tends to seriously frown on over-indulging. However she insisted right up front on an open bar. Luckily if we have guests who can't be counted on to be reasonable in their consumption I don't know who they are. Not that we don't put away a significant amount of wine on occasion, but we tend to save that for evenings at home with a few friends. Not a lot of public drunks in our crowd. Nevertheless my mother seems to have bought (or my cousins have donated, or half and half) six cases of really nice cab and syrah, and another three of chardonnay. On top of the beer, mixed drinks, and champagne we will have available - and this is for 120 people! I anticipate having to expand my wine cellar very soon.
I really don't think its "frowned upon" to have a cash bar... I do think perhaps this is a geographical thing. Are there any Canadians here who can vouch for the fact that people are not going to "frown upon me" for only providing them with two bottles of wine to share with 8-10 table guests?
When I asked this question I was looking for reassurance that this would be ok, but I'm not really feeling the reassurances :)
If I could do it for $14 a person like Briannie I would do it in a second. But I have a feeling that at $6/drink it going to cost me much more than $14 per person!
as a guest and a hostess, i hate cash bar - i like the analogy a previous poster chimed in on in that it is like inviting people to your home and asking them to pony up...
but do what you feel is best for your situation.
we're having open bar starting at 6pm - but cutting people off the alcohol at 1030pm (we have the place til midnight) with everything else non-alcoholic til closing...
You should do what is best for you while extending every courtesy possible to guests. Perhaps you could consider a limited open bar with beer (should be relatively inexpensive in kegs), wine and soft drinks? Whatever you do, I am sure that the guests are more likely to remember your love for one another than the drinks you served:)
We will be doing an open bar for the cocktail period (1.5 hours) and then a limited bar for the rest of the event.
We will be bringing our own alcohol via BevMo (and they will deliver, yay!). We can return all unopened products post-wedding. Our caterers do not charge a corkage fee.
This is a huge debate.... lol. But on my part since my venue is at a hotel... and because I am italian and thats what italians do, I am having the whole shebang.
Cocktails.
Champagne.
Unlimited wine during the supper
Open bar (4 hours)
I think lots of people are gonna stay over for the night.
I would do what you think is best. I personally don't mind cash bars, I was opting for that until my dad gave me the whole speach.
Best of luck to you
Miss Flamingo!
Well, its funny, isn't it. Because on the one hand, the etiquette books talk about how having a cash bar would be like charging for drinks in your own home. But on the other hand, none of our friends would show up for a party at our house without bringing a bottle or two of something nice.
for us an open bar was on the top of the list. i just feel bad about ppl traveling from the corners of the earth to come to my wedding and then not serve them alcohol. whether we decide on a hotel or non-hotel venue, we'll have...
open bar during 1 hr cocktail hr
wine + champagne at the table
and open bar for 4-7 hrs after dinner
whether it's frowned upon.... that's a tough one. *PERSONALLY* (this is totally me) i would NOT have a cash bar. we can afford it and its important to us and our friends/family.
however, when i'm at a wedding, i don't think about it too much. although i think its a big hassle- its not the end of the world. what i do think is a weeeee bit *tacky* is when ppl invite 800+ ppl to their wedding and have barely edible food and a cash bar or no bar at all. and i hope no one gets offended but i've been to weddings where you wonder if they're making money on the wedding! (the weddings i've been to that are like this were korean so ppl generally bring money). but that's totally my opinion : )
LegallyEngaged, what's the norm for the weddings you've been to? Is an open bar expected?
I'm honestly not at all offended by cash bars. It wasn't until I started planning that I realized cash bars weren't proper etiquette. I grew up in Southern CA where most of the weddings I attended had cash bars. Though I live on the east coast now and all of the weddings I've been to around here have had open bars, so maybe it's a regional (or cultural..I'm Asian) thing?
We're having an open bar because it was very high on the boy's priority list and we moved around the budget a bit to make it work. But, I agree what others have said, do what you feel comfortable with. If open bars aren't the norm where you are from, than I'd go with your gut (even if it's not considered proper etiquette). If you decide to offer some free alcohol I really like the idea of having a couple of bottles of wine at the each table or some other 'limited alcohol' option...I don't think you have to have a FULL open bar.
I realize I may not be in the majority here, but to me, open bars are more of a treat, rather than what was expected. Like you (or someone else) said, it's not like you're asking your guests to bring their own meals.
I know this is probably really "tacky" to some people but we didnt' have alcohol at all. It was a pretty small wedding 90-100 and I have quite a few recovering alcoholic family members. Plus, we had a super small budget to work with (approx $6,000 for the entire wedding). In the end, we had an open espresso bar and it was a HUGE hit! The guests loved it more than having alcohol at a wedding! We hired the best espresso caterers we could find and it was still super affordable.
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