Post # 1
I am considering putting X amount towards my BM’s dresses in light of one of the gifts for them. I am going to get them all day of jewelry, but was also considering some sort of clutch/handbag and a pashmina. In lieu of the clutch, I am thinking about putting $25-50 towards each of their dresses to defray the cost. The BM dress I have picked is $160 and they will all need a hem to the knee (ie, extra money). I am telling them all to wear some sort of gold heel with the dress.
Which would you prefer? Should I put money towards their dresses or get them a clutch (or some other gift)?
Post # 3
I would prefer money towards the dress. The clutch is a cute idea, but some girls may not like the style, color, etc (just as some girls may not really care for the BM dress) IMO Putting the money towards the dress would be a really nice gesture, esp during these hard times 🙂
Post # 4
I agree with Annie…cash is always the best bet!
Post # 5
I don’t know…I have to disagree. I would rather get the clutch. I feel like the clutch is at least something you put some thought into, where as to write me a check for something requires no thought at all. Plus, I’m sure the amount you are giving towards the dresses is what fits into your budget, but being completely honest, I’d rather just spend my own $25 and get a gift that you put some thought into and picked out just for me.
Post # 6
I can totally see where ES123 is coming from. The thing that I would think about though is, are you going to go get the same clutch for each of your ladies? Or would you have each one pick one out individually? I don’t buy clutch purses because I like something that I can put on my shoulder, so personally I would prefer getting some $$ towards the dress price. That’s my 2 cents for what it’s worth.
Post # 7
Maybe rather than reimbursing them a small amount, you could offer to pick up the tab for all of their alterations since they’ll need to hem the dress. To me, that would me more of a gesture, and less of a "here’s a small amount of money" (because really, $25 doesn’t go too far these days).
Post # 8
I like the idea of paying for alterations.
Post # 9
I also vote for the alterations…that was the first thing that occurred to me when you mentioned the amount. I also feel like that will seem less like a random monetary contribution since asking them to have the dresses hemmed is, in my circle at least, kind of an extra/unexpected cost to the BM.
Since you are already very generously giving them gifts of a pashmina and providing the jewelry you’d like them to wear, I don’t think you need to worry about giving another actual gift. If personalizing it is your concern, the most personalized token you can give is a note describing what they mean to you…and I personally would cherish that the most.
Post # 10
I would definitely appreciate money towards the BM dresses. Especially these days, every little bit helps and you can never be sure with things like a clutch if it will appeal to all your BMs.
Post # 11
I would either go with:
(1) Pay for alterations and give them a clutch as well.
(2) Pay for $60 towards the dresses and have the girls reimburse you for the remaining $100.
(3) Pay for the dresses entirely and have them do their own alterations (see below)
Your bridesmaids should not have to incur a lot of costs to be a part of your wedding as technically they are doing you a favor. I would try and do whatever I possible could in order to make it that way. We decided to drive our own car instead of renting a limo/car and this allowed us to pay for all of the girls dresses/make-up/jewlery/purses and the guys tuxes. Sometimes you need to make sacrafices on things that don’t matter to show your bridal party that you really do appreciate them.
Post # 12
Thanks for all the feedback!
The struggle that i am having is that I am already paying for the following for the girls:
– day of jewelry
– manicures the day before
– lunch the day before
– brunch while getting ready
– pashmina (probably will be chilly in October)
All of this adds up to over $100 already. While I would also love to pay the full cost of the dress, it ain’t in my budget (also, frankly, I have been in three of my BMs weddings already and had to pay the cost of my own dress)! I wanted to get them something else small, hence the $25 estimate. I realize that it might not amount to much, though, which is why I came here for advice!
The cost of alterations is a great idea, too, but again, probably not in my budget. Usually alterations (in the northeast) cost more than $25. I wouldn’t mind paying the cost of the hem of the dress, but girls will probably need the dresses altered in other places.
Hence my dillema!
Post # 13
I think that you could get a cute clutch for around 25 a pop (or make them for less). I really like the idea of having something more concrete to remember the day by. For most of your girls, I don’t think that $25 (while generous) will make that much of a difference in the overall cost of the dress.
With everything else, I’m sure that your girls will love whatever you choose!
Post # 14
If $25 is all you have left to spend I would go with the clutch. I doubt taking $25 off the cost of the dress will really be noticeable and it may be hard to logistically take the money of the cost of the dress (especially if it means giving the girls each a cheque).
It looks like they will be getting lots of nice things and that if you want to add in something else a clutch would be good. I don’t think you necessarily have to even give them anything else to be honest 🙂
Post # 15
I think any amount towards the dresses will be much appreciated because it’s the thought that counts…I’m sure your girls would love either gift, but I would just assume any little thing that brings there cost down will be quite welcomed.
Post # 16
I was referring specifically to the cost of the hem line. I think add’l alterations are not your responsibility…but offsetting a non-standard thing like the hem makes sense to me. You can just say that’s what the $25 is for…I’m just saying it might seem less random if you explain it that way. And I’d appreciate that more than the clutch.