Post # 1
I have recieved a few large checks in the mail from guests who are unable to attend my wedding in 11 days. What is poper ettiquette? Do I deposit them now, before the wedding so they don’t have to worry about the check being out there….or do I wait until after the wedding?
and I dont know if it makes a difference, 2 of the checks are made out to me exclusively, and 1 is made out to my future husband exclusively… none are made out to both of us.
Post # 3
I would want you to deposit as soon as possible, simply because I hate having outstanding checks sitting out there.
Post # 4
^ Ask the gifter when they prefer that you cash them. Usually, people prefer sooner than later so money is not unexpectedly taken out months down the road.
Post # 5
Unless they post dated them, I would cash them. I don’t like have large checks, or any for that matter, hanging out there. If I sent someone a check I would prefer that they cashed it sooner, but wouldn’t be upest if they waited (I’d assume they were just busy or wanted to to them all at once).
Post # 6
Our rule was for any check we received before the wedding, we would write a thank you note immediately and then cash the check. I didn’t want to throw people’s ideas of their bank balances off by holding a check hostage, but I also wanted to immediately acknowledge our thanks even though the wedding hadn’t happened yet.
Post # 7
deposit asap. i hate having uncashed checks floating around.
Post # 8
I would not cash any cheques before the wedding. I believe its in poor taste. Just as you’re not supposed to use any bridal shower gifts before you’re married, I don’t believe you should cash cheques.
It’s 11 days…chances are, you’ll have more cheques to cash, so just do them all at once the day after your wedding.
Post # 9
We cashed a few (maybe 2-3) before the wedding. But we then wrote out the thank you card to the person(s) also telling them they will be missed on the wedding day before the wedding as well.
I think as long as you acknowledge receipt and thanks for the gift, it is ok to cash them ahead of the wedding. I was afraid I’d misplace them with all the wedding crap and documents I was trying to keep track of.
Post # 10
It’s best if you deposit it as soon as you get it. Unless they post dated it themselves, the assumption is that they want you to cash it immediately. As soon as you cash it, send a thank you card.
Post # 11
I don’t know too many people that use checks anymore and balance checkbooks, so yea, cash the check immediately so it’s not floating around. I hate that when I’ve forgotten about a check I made out and it was deposited much later. Besides, the wedding is such a short time away so it seems fine.
And that seems normal that they would give you a check written out to one of you because maybe they were worried about you being able to cash it.
Post # 12
I’ve had a friend wait two months before she cashed in my check from her shower. As much as I loved her, it really screwed me over when she suddenly cashed it two weeks after her wedding! I had forgotten about it!
Post # 13
We saved the ones that were dated for our wedding day. We assumed they dated them that way because they expected us to wait. The rest we cashed right away (I HATE having checks outstanding).
Post # 14
I agree to ask first. They could have sent the checks expecting you to wait until the wedding and wont have the money until the wedding but wanted to make sure you got it. Doubtful but you never know. Other scenario they just have a floating check for a little bit but at least they know where the money is going. Ask them and they should be happy to tell you
Post # 15
@Happy2bMrs: I agree! Unless they are checks specifically for a specific item in the wedding (i.e. your great Aunt Ida wanted to buy the wedding cake, but couldn’t attend the wedding). I would still write the thank you letter ASAP.
Post # 16
I think traditional ettiquette dictates that you shouldn’t deposit them til after the weddng, but I hate having checks lingering in the ether uncashed for long periods of time. If the point of ettiquette is to make others comfortable or something like that, I’d say depositing quickly would be the way to go unless the checks are post-dated to the wedding date (so check those dates!).
I’d deposit the checks, but don’t spend the money til after the wedding (gifts are supposed to be returned if the wedding doesn’t happen), and get those thank you cards out immediately.