- 3 years ago
So we’re not officially engaged yet – BF and I have been at university and mega broke so no ring (yet – we’ve just about chosen the MoissaniteCo ring we love) but we’re in the early stages of planning our wedding anyway.
As I said, we’re not very financially comfortable at the moment so we were hoping to have a very casual, laid-back wedding, with a budget of around £3000. A lot of it will be DIY and neither of us likes big fancy things anyway. Ideally we’d like to get married on a farm, hay bales and natural decor abounding but alas, there’s very few in the area with licenses, silly UK rules! (Grandad is very ill so can’t travel too far and I couldn’t get married without him).
Anyway, we’re both so laid-back. Neither of us drink and we both hate the “traditional” and cliche wedding traditions. We’re opting for no speeches, no toasts, no disco, sit-down meal or buffet. My step-dad is a chef and he’s happy to do a big BBQ for us to fit in with our style. We want to have country music and have created a playlist for our iPod instead of hiring a DJ (can’t stand DJs!)
I’ve said that I want people to wear casual clothes, jeans and shirts are fine for the guys and I’m planning on wearing a simple dress with cowboy boots. If it were up to us, we’d just get married at the Country Music festival, just us and no-one else. It’s not about anyone else, is it? WRONG! My mum keeps telling me that it’s just as important for her as it is for me. Is it really?!!
We don’t want to invite aunts and uncles who we either never see or don’t get on with. But then Mum says if I’m only inviting immediate family I shouldn’t really invite close friends. My BF and I are paying for everything ourselves so I don’t understand why she’s being so difficult. She says that we have to think of other people and that we have to have a disco, and food that people like, and music that everyone will know (we’re not really a Macarena kind of couple!) I told her we’re not having alcohol, maybe a few bottles of lager in big pails of ice and then those pretty glass dispensers with homemade lemonades, sweet teas etc. Mum gave a look like she couldn’t believe it and said she’ll take a bottle of vodka. We’re having an early wedding/tea party BBQ. If people want to party the night away when we’ve gone, fair enough but not at our wedding!
It’s my day. I’ve been planning this since I was 7 years old. I’m so grateful to have such an understanding and compatible partner, I never thought my mum would cause so many headaches. His mum is great, she’ll be as involved as we need, happy to make or decorate our cakes or do whatever we want (or don’t want) but my mum will only complain if we allow her to do anything. Honestly, she’s already started setting ground rules for when we have a baby. I’m starting to really resent her and I don’t want to. What can I do? Everytime I say something she either does the hurt bunny thing or gives me the silent treatment!
Sometimes I could cry, I’m so upset.