Post # 1
My fiance and I are in the midst of planning a casual, outside wedding on an island in Washington state with less than 100 people. My vision is a simple and causal day that really suits us. We’ve eliminated a lot of the formal and traditional aspects of a wedding, and one of those things, in my mind at least, was having a bridal party.
I am finding, however, that when planning a casual wedding, there is a fine line between feeling like a wedding and turning into just another friends get-together. My dress, for example: I didn’t want a lot of poofiness and beads and I didn’t even really want it to be white… yet every dress that I tried on that was even off-white I didn’t feel like I bride. Only until I put that white one on did I acutally feel like I ‘was getting married.’
I had a big discussion with my Mr last night about ‘maids and ‘men, and as he comes from a large family with many childhood friends, he can name off 5 people he’d like standing next to him. I don’t have sisters, I don’t have childhood girlfriends, and we’re getting married in a state that we don’t live in (we’re only were we are b/c of school… all of our fam is back in WA), so my friends here won’t be able to come. I just can’t come up with that many people… but I am starting to get the feeling that he just won’t ‘feel like he’s getting married’ without his brothers and friends next to him.
SO, I am trying to find a way to incorporate these people in the day without having them titled as ‘groomsmen.’ I came up with songs and readings (some of which are very musically talented), but Mr thinks that’s cheezie and traditional. He came up with offiating all of them, and having all of them marry us.. each of them would do a little part of the ceremony. Is that leagal? I like that idea, but I’d like to leave the day leagally married, you know? 🙂
Do any of you other bees have any creative ideas on how to incorporate friends without making them ‘maids and ‘men?
Post # 3
I would have one attendant, best man, Maid/Matron of Honor. two friends being ushers.. and you can have another friend, witness the documents for you (signing of the registry) there included.
If any of them are musical talented? get them singing or playing, then there is always the readings, or poem? one as an MC to the reception?
Just a few ideas!
Post # 4
I’m in pretty much the exact same situation. We want an informal wedding – not super casual, but no long, traditional ceremony and more cocktail than black tie. BUT my parnter has a whole bunch of brothers and close male friends he pretty much insists on making groomsmen. The typical sort of wedding party is something he’s not budging on, though (which is funny, because he really wants an informal, short-ceremony wedding).
I like the idea of having them take part in the ceremony, though that may end up being something similar to each doing a reading / speaking at the ceremony. Not sure about legality – each jurisdiction is different, but if you both like the idea you can just get legally married ahead of time and not have to worry about making sure everyone is legally able to marry you.
Post # 5
Our wedding is also going to be kind of casual. As far as the dress, I am wearing a very pretty Casablanca dress in champagne. He’s wearing a black suit with a white shirt and the tie the same colour as my dress. The guest will be dressing nice too, although there are people from different countries and cultures and others from very different parts of the USA so the dress will be varied. As far as bridal party goes. Our siblings will be standing with us when we get married. I’ve got 2 sisters (and his sister) and he’s got two brothers (and my 3 brothers). The sisters will be wearing green dresses, the shade, style, etc. is up to them. The brothers will be wearing any kind of dark suits that they want with any shade of green tie that they want and white shirts. I think we’ll skip out on the garter and bouquet toss and keep it simple. We are planning on doing all the paperwork in Spain before our wedding in NY in August. So we don’t need to do the legal stuff in the states.
Just remember, do what you want and if you aren’t comfortable with something it’s about meeting in the middle with your fiance.
Post # 6
Thanks ladies – I love how all the date twins replied!!
Post # 7
@jmax I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT WE WERE DATE TWINS WHEN I REPLIED!!! lol
Post # 8
Whoa that’s uncanny, more than 1 date twin replied!