Weddingbee boards

We're looking to plan a late summer 2011 wedding and we have an idea of what we want based on a couple of weddings we attended.  One was outside Austin, TX in a nicely appointed rental cabin with 5+ bedrooms.  The noon ceremony was outdoors, followed by a buffet lunch, a band playing, then a DJ until around dinnertime when adult guests filtered out and the younger people re-heated their dinner in the kitchen and danced until we dropped.  The second was in an Italian villa where everyone stayed in apartments on-site and nearby.  Evening ceremony, long sit-down dinner, then dancing after the tables were cleared away until late late night.

Essentially we know we're looking for a place where we can have a really low-key ceremony on-site, where everyone's staying at the same place, and where nobody is going to kick us out of the venue at a given time.  Off-site catering and being able to bring in our own booze is preferable, but not essential.

What I'm a little lost at is how to make this happen.  We're looking at something in New York or New England, planned afar from California (we're from the NY area and want to do it closer to home).  Does anyone know any good venues or even just resources for finding places like this...  kind of between a destination wedding and a traditional reception.

@Lili - yeah, I thought about that, but I don't know where we're doing it and I didn't want to spam every possible board.  Plus I'm not even sure what we're looking for... maybe vacation houses?  Or are there places like the one in TX that are really more for events?

@Aliciareneephotography & westafer: Thanks for the recommendations!  Adding both to my list.