Post # 1
I feel like I’m going to vomit. I first started talking to my planned caterer in February, because I really wanted to make sure nobody booked him and I want to know approximate costs. during this phonecall I told him our date (June 20, 2015), got some basic info, etc.
A week or two ago, I contacted him again to ask about service, and names of bakers. We have not met; me have not setup any contract or talked about bottom line costs. Yesterday my grandmother had a phonecall left on her machine from someone looking for someone with MY (not super common) name and saying that they have arrived at “the address” with “the truck” and no one was there. Apparently they mentioned catering. My caterer sells at a farmer’s market and would have a truck. I am FREAKING because what if he got the YEAR wrong?!
i know it’s not possible that it would be my fault – I’m nervous about talking on the phone and so I make joy notes before I phone vendors and I WROTE DOWN our date so that I could be clear.
My my biggest worry is that he got all this stuff ready and went there and found no one there and is going to be irritated with me and put up a fuss. I hate conflict! It scares me! Because he’s still probably at the farmers market and this is a weird situation, I emailed him telling him about the weird thing that happened and reminding him of my date. No respnse yet.
arghhh tell me it’s going to be okay. I’m SO freaked out that I just want to go hide, embarrassed, in my bed.
is this what I get for planning too early?! we hadn’t even discussed TIMES
Post # 2
everridiculous: Relax. It’s not your mistake if one was made. You have no contract, menu, deposit etc.
Better that he showed up a year early than a year late!
Post # 3
Try not to worry too much. It doesn’t sound to me like you’ve done anything to cause such an odd situation.
Call him if you can. It may be easier to sort this out over the phone than through e-mail.
Again, It doesn’t sound look you did anything to cause a problem. It will be ok.
Post # 4
Okay, setting aside this issue: Are you prone to anxiety attacks, and have you freaked out about other “possible mistakes” you might have made before, only to find out that you were getting yourself worked up over nothing? Because I am prone to stuff like that, and 99% of the time, my anxiety over the imagined error turns out to be a complete waste of my energy because *nothing happened.*
Chances are, the caterer fixated on your name when whatever happened had nothing to do with you at all. Maybe your name was in his mind because he’d spoken to you recently or looked at some notes he’d taken with your name written on them. CLEARLY, this situation had nothing to do with you, since you did not have a contract with him, had not discussed times, etc. If anyone “should” be embarrassed about this, it’s him, NOT YOU. (Not that anyone should be embarrassed about a mistake, because we all make them.)
Post # 5
Have you even picked a menu yet?
Post # 6
everridiculous: 1st calm down. It’s not worth getting worked up over nothing. 2nd What does the contract say? It should have your date of service on there. Pretty straight forward.
Post # 7
So it was him. And he says yeah, he realized it was his own mistake. We had talked about menu etc. I just wanted to be prepared So I knew what to budget.
oh what a ridiculous thing. At least I know he’ll be able to show up! I still feel fairly mortified!!
Post # 8
bitsybee: no contract exists yet
Post # 9
Jijitattoo: that’s totally me and youre so right. Working on being more like FI (who generally is completely carefree)
Post # 10
Maybe its just me, but I would question the professional ism and competence of a caterer that not only gets the date wrong, but shows up with no contract and no payment. This could be a signthat maybe he’s not the right man for the job…
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
Wait, so without discussing payment, details, contract stipulations, or even a menu, s/he got all ready and showed up at the venue thinking it was wedding time?? Wth? Are you SURE you want to work with this person?
Post # 12
PPs have a good point about whether you want to work with this vendor. I don’t think this needs to force you to look for a new caterer, but use it as a hint to confirm and reconfirm plans as your wedding date approaches.
I had a similar situation, albeit not nearly as dramatic, with my hair/makeup person, who was the niece of my friend who hosted my shower. The shower was 2wks before the wedding on a Fri night. The day after the shower (Sat), she called both me and my mom in the morning, asking, “Where are you? i’m ready to get started.” It turns out that in communication with her aunt who mentioned plans for my shower, my hairdresser had assumed that the shower was occurring the night before the wedding. When I later checked back to my emails with the hairdresser from months before the wedding, my correct wedding date was IN THE SUBJECT LINE. It wasn’t for lack of my clarity!
In looking through those emails from months before, she had mentioned a couple details (such as providing me with a lipstick to freshen my makeup during wedding day). When wedding day rolled around and she did my makeup — nope, no extra lipstick was provided. I had my own lipstick which I was happy to use throughout the day, so no big issue there.
With all this to say, your caterer may be someone who is very talented at his craft but not super detail oriented when it comes to dates, things that are included, etc. It is worthwhile to check in with him 1-2 weeks before wedding day to confirm things to know if you should adjust your expectations and, more importantly, to reinforce in his memory.
Post # 13
Yeah, this is really bizarre. After one meeting, and without a menu, tasting, contract, payment, final headcount, or even a time of your event, dude rolled up to your proposed venue in a food truck ready to go? None of this makes sense. Either this guy has a reason to be “overly enthusuastic” (ie he doesn’t do much catering, a bad sign for many reasons), or he’s, well, crazy. I would be looking for another caterer asap.