Post # 1
So my FI and I have made all the arrangements with our church for our wedding in 9 months. However, my FI was never “officially” confirmed when he was younger, and they require a certificate of confirmation.
If this is something he needs to get taken care of, he needs to do it now and is investigating. However, a very church going friend of mine said that he doesn’t need that, he just needs proof of baptism. Makes sense, since confirmation is simply the reaffirmation of baptism.
Obviously, he is going to talk to our pastor about this for the official word, but I just got worried b/c our church website has the confirmation process as a two year thing!!!!
Has anyone run into this predicament?? The irony is he has actually gone through the whole process as a child, has a name and everything, but never completed due to his parents divorce.
Post # 3
As far as I know, only one party needs to be Catholic to be married in the church. You would still go through Pre Cana and commit to raising children Catholic, but I think you can get married without his confirmation.
Post # 4
@BurlapnLace: If he has gone through the whole process, I doubt they would make him do it all over again. I bet they could work something out and get him confirmed much quicker than 2 years. You can still get married in the Church if he is baptized only, but you wouldn’t have a full mass ceremony.
Post # 5
@BurlapnLace: Technically, you are required to be confirmed. Some priests are willing to overlook it. He still totally has time to do adult confirmation, which usually happens around Easter. He would have to sign up at church for classes but they aren’t as involved as, say, RCIA classes.
Post # 6
We both needed proof of baptism but not confirmation, however, I know different parishes sometimes do different things so if that is what your priest told you then that’s what I would go with.
Post # 7
Thanks ladies. We won’t know until he asks! I wasn’t worried about the whole thing until I saw the two year thing on their site.
Our priest is extremely laid back, so I don’t reeeally forsee a problem (we hope!!)
Post # 8
As long as one person is Catholic, you can get married in a Catholic church. I’m pretty sure in order to do a full mass/ceremony, both of you do need to go through all of the sacraments, including Confirmation. He can do an adult program. Everything varies church by church, but that is what I believe is pretty standard. You will have to do Pre Cana prior to your wedding too (you don’t have to be confirmed for that)
Post # 9
The priest can’t refuse to marry you, even if you BOTH weren’t confirmed.
By virtue of your baptism in the Catholic Church, you have the right to access the other sacraments including marriage.
It’s not required prior to marriage- but strongly encouraged! If it can be done without unnecessary burden or delay, that is.
If he did all the requirements and just never crossed the finish line, maybe have him speak with your parish priest about being confirmed at the Easter Vigil. It might be a bit late for this year (Easter’s in April) but maybe not!
Either way it would be great for him to do – you DO have to be confirmed before you can be a godparent, so if he ever wanted to fill that role for a niece or nephew or something, it’s good to have it complete.
Post # 10
It’s not a two year process for adults..at least not in my diocese, he will most likely have to go through RCIA classes and be confirmed during Easter. However some parishes can get special confirmation rites for before Easter if the priest asks the bishop for permission.
Post # 11
@MrsBeck: The baptismal certificates sent from your parish of baptism are amended with every sacrament. They would also show your marriage, if you attempted to marry someone else, or your ordination /holy orders, if a priest, nun, or monk attempted to marry. So, if they requested those certs, directly from the parish of your baptism, as is the general practice, they also received confirmation of confirmation.
Another case where it seems many priests, or bishops, are taking the rules into their own hands, rather than implementing them as set out by the Vatican.
If it becomes a serious problem, I would inquire with the cathedral in your diocese, and if they say the same, I would inquire about the rules with the cathedral in the archdiocese. But, if your priest provides a simple, timely, working solution, no need to get all medieval like that.
Post # 12
It shouldn’t take two years for your FI to get confirmed. I just went through RCIA last year, and I got confirmed at the Easter Vigil. It definitely wasn’t a two-year process. I think RCIA in our parish started in early September, and, then, ended at the Easter Vigil, which was in March last year as Easter was early. Maybe your FI wouldn’t even have to attend all of the RCIA classes, since he was baptized and raised in the Catholic church.
Post # 13
In my case, our priest has asked for a certificate of a renewal of baptism within 6 mos of our wedding date.
Post # 14
@BurlapnLace: you can get married without his confirmation. I know this because my fiancé is not confirmed (but he was baptized) and we had no problem with booking the church, meeting with the priest (who is the pastor of the parish) or going to precana. If this church won’t marry you without it, you can find another that will.
ETA:we are doing a full mass with no issues.