(Closed) Catholic-Catholic no Mass

posted 5 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Miss Corgi:  No, it is not weird. We are doing the same thing.

Post # 4
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Its totally fine.  Nuptial masses used to be reserved for royalty.

Post # 5
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Nope, we’re doing it. Don’t want non-Catholics to feel left out of the ceremony. 

Post # 6
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I don’t think it’s weird at all, especially if your wedding is on a Thursday. And your FI’s reason for wanting a shorter ceremony is the sweetest ever 🙂

Post # 7
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think it’s perfectly understandable. It’s still a Catholic wedding! And you can go to Mass together on Sunday. Personally, I think Catholic weddings are a little more stressful to plan because of the full Mass. 

Post # 8
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - Ceremony: St Patrick's Basilica Reception: Southern Cross Ballroom, Esplanade Hotel Fremantle

@Miss Corgi:  Not weird 🙂 we are doing the same, as it is we are pushing for time because our ceremony isn’t until 4pm in winter. FI and i will just attend mass the next day, but as a married couple :).

Post # 9
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

All your non-Catholic (and maybe some Catholic?) guests will rejoice at not having to sit through an hour+ long service. I was raised Catholic, but the wedding mass seems to take ages!

Post # 10
Member
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I am a non-Catholic Christian marrying a Catholic. We are not having a mass. I was told that, under a strict interpretation of the catechism:

– A wedding between two Catholics should take place within a mass

– A wedding between a Catholic and a non-Christian should not take place within a mass

– A wedding between a non-Catholic Christian and a Catholic could take place within a mass at the discretion of the couple and the priest, and with a dispensation

This said, when I spoke to our priest then he said that just over 50% of weddings he officiated took place within a mass… that’s a lot of weddings with no mass!

We worked out that by skipping mass, we were saving about 10 minutes… our ceremony is still about an hour long! More importantly than the time though, is the issue that, by including a mass, you are also including lots of other things like the profession of faith. The problem with that is that if you have about 80-90% non-Catholics there, it’s a bit awkward to have them all saying things like “we believe…” when they do not! I also wanted to avoid an awkward situation where I would have to say that I believed in things that I didn’t… or rather, things that I believe in in a slightly different way…

Post # 11
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It’s not a weird thing to do per se. It is a decision, however, that should be made for the right reasons.

As PPs have noted, the Church strongly prefers that two Catholics get married within a nuptial Mass so that they share in the Eucharist as one of their first acts as a married couple. However, sometimes there are good reasons for celebrating the wedding outside of Mass. The Eucharist is a sign of unity, but when many of the guests are not able to partake, sometimes it’s preferable to celebrate a non-Mass wedding so as not to point up divisions within the assembly. That was the case for a couple of friends of mine: the groom was a cradle Catholic and the bride converted a couple of months before they got married, but her whole side of the family was non-Catholic and would have been left out of Communion, so they felt it was better to use the non-Mass option.

As the PP mentions, the time difference is pretty negligible, about 10-15 minutes in most cases. I would just recommend asking yourselves: is missing out on sharing the Eucharist at your wedding for the sake of the “flow” of the ceremony and an earlier kiss a sufficient trade-off? (I’m not trying to make you feel bad or guilt you into changing your plans, I’m just saying this is the question you should be asking yourselves.)

Post # 12
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That’s what we are doing. My FI is catholic and I am not but our priest asked if we wanted a full mass. My FI’s exact respone: “the shorter the better.” So we are not having a mass.Smile

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