Weddingbee boards

I've heard people say that you can't have a catholic ceremony if it is performed outside of the catholic church. i dont know to what extent i believe this, but i feel that if God is everywhere, why would he care whether or not it is in a church and what makes it so much more important or appropriate to get married in a church?

ladies, please enlighten me, becuase i am completley confused!

Yeah.... La Iglesia tiene unas exigencias extranas! i've heard that and also que no puedes tener tus propios vows. Why???

yo no se. el novio y yo estabamos hablando de eso y el me dijo, "amor, cual quire cosa, bucamo un tipo catolico que no puede hacer la ceremonia y pal carajo."LOL i was like, yeah i guess.

encuentro eso tan raro. pero bueno, que se va hacer. sigo buscando.

Please read this thread that i found. You might get some info from there.

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/catholic-ceremony-outside-of-church

@Tanya123: i can understand that. i grew up going to church every sunday and partaking in youth group. I love my faith and i teach religious education. i just never got around to asking that question.

i can totally appreciate it being God's house and respect that. thank you for that.

FI is not religious but he is willing to go to the classes and learn about the catholic faith for our wedding.

You can get married outside of the Church, if you can find a Catholic Church that has constructed a permanent altar outside. Otherwise, you must get married inside for the ceremony to be recognized by the church. Those are VERY scarce, there is one in Southern Maryland, both the church and the marble altar were constructed in the late 1700s. It's the only one that I know of.

@marylandnurse: I know of a few others outside, including some constructed in the last 50 years.  You just have to look around.

It's worth noting that you can get married outside a church if you request and obtain a "Dispensation from Canonical Form" from the presiding priest/deacon (he has to obtain it from the bishop).  To get that dispensation, you need a good reason to have it outdoors ("the garden is pretty" isn't a good reason). 

@jedeve: Yeah the "good reason" isn't well defined.  It just has to be good enough that your bishop agrees.

I made that point so people think through a reason before walking into the priest's office.  Things I usually hear are:  Catholic/non-Catholic and the non-Catholic's family member is a reverend, Catholic/Jewish wedding which is typically allowed to be held in a Jewish ceremony (which can be outside), lack of church building of sufficient size available for the wedding, or when someone wants to use a rosary garden.

Does your city have a chapter of the White Robed Monks of St. Benedict? They will do a nuptial mass for you ANYWHERE but they are "Independant Catholic" so the "Roman Catholic" Church won't acknowledge your marriage unless you do a convalidation.

You can always get married outside by a justice of the peace and have your marriage blessed in the church at a later date.  Best of both worlds?

@Tanya123: Yes, however, YMMV based on your bishop and how strict he is in terms of giving out permissions.  It probably also depends on your priest and how he approaches the issue ("So, these people want to get married outside..." vs. "I have this great, strong Catholic couple that really understands and appreciates the Sacrament of Marriage, but want to celebrate it outdoors...")

@MaggieGirl:

@VirginiaMarie:

@evalague:

If you get married outside of the Church (either using someone like a schismatic monk or a JoP), keep in mind that the marriage will not be seen as valid in the Church.  In that case, you should not present yourself for communion unless you live as "brother and sister".  To bring the marriage into the Church, you will need to be remarried (convalidation) with a whole new ceremony, sometimes some pre-marital counseling, etc.  It's not just a "blessing", it's an actual ceremony. 

It's also very common to run into an issue where some Catholics will not attend your marriage, as it is invalid (generally a bigger problem in the older crowd).  You can usually calm them if you explain that you're planning a convalidation right after the current ceremony (sometimes the next day).

What really becomes a problem is when you do something that openly professes heresy by having an excommunicated person marry you (like a womanpriest).  That's a really grave situation and something to avoid at all costs. 

"I am unsure of the parameters----but I promise you it can be done!   It's just uncommon and sounds like lots of paperwork/pain in the butt to do."

Not really. It's a single one-page form called a "Dispensation from the Canonical Form of Marriage".  You talk to the priest, he fills it out, you tell him why you want to be married in a non-Catholic ceremony (I listed some reasons above as examples), and the priest calls the bishop's office.  The bishop can sign the form or reject it.  If it's signed, you're good to go.  If it's not signed, then you can't be validly married outside the Church.  It's really not that uncommon and doesn't take much time. 

They're just usually rejected more than accepted because brides walk in and say "Why?  I don't know.  I've just always pictured myself as a beach bride."  That shows you don't understand or respect why the Catholic Church requires weddings inside of church buildings.

@CoffeeHound: I'm getting married in a Catholic church, I considered a Schimatic monk when my fi's priest was jerking me around ealier in the year. But a good talking to from my mom seems to have solved his inconsistencies. I have the monk booked still in case the drama resumes in Nov. when we are supposed to reconnect for our premarital issues.

You might want to call my priest and re-educate him because I heard it referred to as "blessing the marriage" from a catholic priest himself. 

@VirginiaMarie: Then you have a Dispensation from Canonical Form.  Congratulations!

"blessing the marriage" - you can call it whatever you want, but that's not what it is.  There is a blessing that is part of the Rite of Marriage, but to be convalidated, you need to perform a Rite of Marriage (which includes 3 readings, vows, etc).  It can be performed within a Nuptial Mass or not.