Catholic Church Ceremony or Outdoor Non-Denominational Ceremony????

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You say that you’re “not really” Catholic. Do you care if the Catholic Church recognizes your marriage? If not , then I would get married outside like you want. I don’t think it’s selfish to do this. What does your FI want to do?

 

Post # 4
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly do what you want. Your parents will get over it enventually. (I had the opposite problem I was getting married in the Catholic church because DH is catholic my parents were against it) If they don’t get over it or you decide you want your marriage to be recognized by the church you could always do a convalidation to have your marriage blessed.

Post # 5
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My husband and I are not very religious but my mom kind of is. She really wanted us to get married in a church, but she did not push the subject. We had a non-denominational outside ceremony. The only thing my mom fought us a little bit about was having a prayer at the end of our ceremony instead of the Apache Blessing that we were planning on doing. She lost that battle though and we had the Apache Blessing just like we wanted. We did compromise and had by Aunt say grace before having dinner.

We did the wedding exactly how we envisioned it would be. It was absolutely beautiful and everything we wanted. I did not want to regret later that I did not follow through with what I wanted for my wedding. And I do not regret anything. Also, my mom thought it was a beautiful ceremony.

Post # 6
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@Minniemousie1:  At the point where you decide that you’re old enough and mature enough to get engaged and get married, that’s the exact point where you should have stopped living to please your parents.

Post # 7
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m having a non-denominational ceremony outside at the Lake on a Friday evening at the same place where our reception is being held. Then on Sunday, we are having a convalidation ceremony with just immediate family. The convalidation recognizes the marriage in the eyes of the church. This should alleviate your parent’s concerns while also giving YOU exactly what you want. After all, it’s your wedding. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Minniemousie1:  Have a ceremony that reflects your own beliefs.

Post # 9
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Minniemousie1:  lol I’m having the same dilemma.  I no longer have a church, but my parents really want it to be a church wedding, I’m more of the barefoot hippie type so I really want something outdoors and was giving up on that since the date kept getting pushed further into the cold weather zone, but FI woke up this morning and said “let’s just hurry up and get married in august…” lol so I might get my park wedding after all.  Parents will live if it’s not in a church, but I’m worried about getting murdered if we have a non-religion-specific ceremony so idk how we’re gonna handle that.

Post # 10
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2019

Will you want future children to be baptised in the Catholic Church?

Did the Church ever mean anything to you?  Are you not very religious or are you anti-religious?

Most people go through a phase where religion is not very important to them.  There are not many 20-somethings in any church on a Sunday morning!  But most of us come back, eventually.  Marriage and children often open the doors to becoming a church-goer again.  But this time on your own terms, instead of being dragged there by your parents.

My fiancee and I are going through the Catholic Church’s marriage prep program right now, and it has been great.  It has helped us figure out some things that we had not discussed before and might not have thought about until they became arguements later on.  I am really happy that we decided on a traditional church wedding.

Post # 11
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We will have a non-denominational wedding outside the church. I am not Catholic, he is not Catholic, but his family is. They will hopefully deal

Post # 12
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Minniemousie1:  It’s not selfish.  You are an adult and are allowed to set whatever boundaries you want with your parents.  If you’re not really catholic then a church ceremony won’t have much meaning to you except to please your parents.  This is your wedding day and you can do what you like.  Go with your gut and you won’t regret it.  Just make sure you have a backup plan in case of rain.

Post # 13
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@DJones69:  YES!  It’s hard to let go of the guilt that can come from setting boundaries but once you embrace it there is no going back!

Post # 14
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

It depends on how much you want the Church involved in the rest of your life. Baptising children, being a godmother, having a Catholic funeral, receiving the sacraments, all require being in good standing with the Church, which means having a valid marriage or, your mother’s right, you’ll be living in sib as far as the Church is concerned.

Post # 15
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Minniemousie1:  If you don’t intend to raise your children in the Church, don’t have a Catholic ceremony.  You will be making promises and commitments that faithful Catholics take very seriously, and oing it within the context of a sacrament that is essential to their faith.  It shows much more respect to the Church, and it’s followers, to marry outside the Church, than to go through the motions without sincerity.

That said, do the wedding prep course either way.  It has many great elements that apply to all couples, not just Catholics.  Some stuff is very Catholic, but really just two weeks of the 7.

Post # 16
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

@Minniemousie1:  I did both because I am in the same shoes, plus my parents are not together… so I did an outdoor non-denominational ceremony with my moms side, the grooms side, where we did the the signing of the papers with a pastor and a decked out wedding dress and music and tuxes and family and bridesmaids and a bouquet and the whole nine yards. Then two weeks later we did a reconvalidation ceremony at our catholic church back home, where our priest married us again at church with my dads side 🙂 I wore a simpler white dress and my new husband wore a suit and it was just as special… 🙂 We loved getting married twice!

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