Post # 1
I just wanted to hear everyone’s input and experiences getting married in a catholic church.
My fiance and I had our first priest meeting the other day. We knew we’d need a copy of our updated baptismal certificates, schedule witnesses to be interviewed by our priest, and attend pre-marriage classes because all our friends who got married in the past couple years had prepared us on what to expect. But what I was shocked about was that our priest also said (not sure if he’s making us or just suggesting) that we sign up for the 8-month confirmation course since we’re both not confirmed and also go to confession a week before our wedding.
What I don’t understand is that our friends who were not confirmed (and one couple even got married at the same church), were not asked to attend confirmation classes or go to confession. I mean, I’m totally fine with going to confession but I thought confirmation was a choice? We were given the choice to be confirmed when I was a teenager and I know people who attended catholic school and they were also given the choice. I didn’t think it was a requirement for marriage?
Anyone go through anything similar?
Post # 3
I found this explanation:
The reception of baptism is necessary for the valid reception of the sacrament of matrimony. The reception of the sacraments of confirmation, penance, and Eucharist is strongly recommended for Catholics who enter a sacramental marriage (including a mixed marriage) as well as those who enter a disparity of cult marriage. Although following this recommendation is not necessary for the validity of the marriage, it is urged in virtue of the faith dimension of marriage as well as the ecclesial obligations.
So it seems that confirmation is not required, but strongly urged.
Post # 4
Confirmation is not a requirement. Both of you don’t have to be Baptized either—just one of you. Some priests recommend things, that are not real rules. It is up to each individual priest/parish. But technically you are absolutely allowed to get married w/o being confirmed. The classes, preparation, and confirmation day is a lot of work and a HUGE time commitment that may cause unneeded stress during your already busy wedding planning season; so maybe you can consider getting confirmed after your wedding. Why don’t you talk to your priest and express this intention. I am assuming since you want to get married in a church, you also want to raise your kids Catholic if you have them. Tell him this as well. It’s things like this that make me happy I have priests in the family who do all of our wedding, baptisms, etc..
Post # 5
@mae437: I think it also depends on your parish and if one of you is not Catholic. A friend of mine was able to get married at a Catholic church and her husbandsisn’t a Catholic. They had to do the couples retreat but was not required for her husband to be confirmed.
Post # 6
@Baystatebride- Thank you for the info. That seems to be the info. I’ve been finding as well! But I just wasn’t sure what my priest was trying to tell us, if it’s a requirement or if he’s just strongly suggesting it.
@june3012- Yeah, that’s our main concern, the time it will take to do the confirmation classes. We are so extremely busy this year, not just our own wedding planning but we have 3-4 other weddings in the next year. Sometimes we work on weekends and my mom lives 2 hours away so i go out of town a lot to visit her (she’s by herself, my dad passed away 3 years ago). So our weekends get extremely packed. I don’t know if it’s okay to explain this to our priest or if he’ll think we’re not good catholics.
We definitely want to raise our kids catholic and we attend church when we’re in town and free on Sundays. If anything, we attend at our family’s parish when out of town.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2012 - Padua Hills Theater
I always thought at least one of you has to be confirmed but idk. Every church and priest is different is seems